Gratitude Over Apology

I wondered if I had misheard him. Kallios was still looking at his book. I wasn’t entirely sure if he was actually reading it. Lately, I had started to suspect that he only kept a book in front of him because he felt empty without one. There were times when I heard the sound of pages turning in a pitch-black room, or he would flip a page when there was no way he could have finished reading all that tiny text.

“Kallios.”

“Yes.”

“What did you just say?”

Well, that wasn’t the important thing right now. Just now, Kallios had said to Lamierre…

“I cannot entrust the protection of royalty to a 3rd Circle mage.”

“4th Circle… I’ll reach it soon, very soon!”

“The criteria for joining the Mage Order is the 5th Circle.”

Lamierre started to say something but then clamped his mouth shut. Since Lamierre possessed the power of the Water Dragon, he was stronger than a typical 3rd Circle mage. Moreover, he was a prospect destined to become an Archmage. Rather than crushing his spirit, he needed encouragement… but that was my job, not Kallios’s.

Kallios closed the book he had been mindlessly flipping through.

“Is there anything else?”

“Pardon?”

The boy looked like he was about to cry. I set down the cup I was holding. I stood up and walked over to Lamierre.

“Lamierre. If you aren’t in a hurry, stay for dinner.”

I placed my hand on Lamierre’s shoulder and gave it a reassuring pat.

“Go on inside. I’ll be in after I chat a bit more.”

Lamierre, who had been staring only at his teacup, nodded and stood up. Even though he had heard harsh words, rank was absolute; Lamierre bowed politely to Kallios and headed inside first. I was worried he might leave in a bad mood, but I guess it wasn’t that severe.

“Don’t eat too many snacks.”

“Yes…”

The response that trailed back was as slumped as his shoulders. I looked at Kallios, who was nonchalantly drinking his tea, and just laughed. I had forgotten because he acted so mature, but he was still only twenty. He could be a little petty, sure. As for why he was suddenly being petty… I could just ask him now.

After confirming Lamierre had entered the spire, I went behind Kallios and stroked his hair. His blonde hair was beautiful at any time, but I especially loved it under the sunlight because it was dazzling. Whether it was his body heat or the sun, touching his warm hair felt like touching sunlight itself. I lifted my hand while lightly holding a few strands. The fine hair slid through my fingers.

I had intended to ask why he said such mean things, but while touching his hair, I didn’t feel like it anymore.

“Kallios.”

“Yes.”

“We’ve become quite close.”

I cupped Kallios’s cheeks with both hands to keep him still as he tried to turn and look at me. I swept back his bangs and pressed my hand against his handsome forehead as if checking for a fever. Perhaps because my hand was cool, I felt a lukewarm heat through my palm. I leaned my chin on his head while wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Look. We didn’t do things like this before.”

“Yes.”

“Because your hair is pretty.”

“Yes.”

“I thought about wanting to touch it… every time I saw you.”

I had only thought about it; I don’t think I had ever reached out. I had touched Sierra’s and Isaac’s hair so much. This was half his fault and half mine. Because he was inhumanly handsome, I felt like I should just admire him without touching. It was also because I was too conscious of him being the original story’s villain, which made things awkward. I straightened my back while leaning on his shoulders. A groan escaped my lips involuntarily.

He took my hand from his shoulder and placed it on top of his head. It felt like a permission slip to touch him whenever I wanted. I chuckled and playfully ruffled his hair. If it had been Isaac or Lamierre, it would have become a messy nest, but his hair was so fine that it didn’t really show even after I ruffled it to my heart’s content. I smoothed down a few stray strands and pulled my hand away.

“Kallios.”

“Yes.”

He looked at me. I quietly met those dry rose-colored eyes looking up at me. He reached his hand toward my face. I lowered my head so he could reach easily. A cautious touch landed on my head and then pulled away. In his hand was a single, partially bloomed wildflower. I just… I don’t know why, but I just felt so good that I broke into a bright smile.

After that, without much conversation, I idly watched the scenery while Kallios read. I wanted to sit there until the sun fully set, but as the red glow of twilight began to fade, he told me to go inside because the wind was getting cold. If I had been even a little healthier, I would have said I was fine, but since I wasn’t, I obeyed. He escorted the lingering, hesitant me to the front of the spire before returning to the Emperor’s Palace.

Dinner was already served. A freshly washed Lamierre was sitting at the table and jumped up. Seeing his hair, which was curlier than usual because it wasn’t fully dry, and his changed clothes, it seemed he had washed up while changing out of his grass-stained outfit. Meanwhile, I was still in the same state as when I was rolling in the field. I plucked a petal off my sleeve and put it in my pocket.

“Have you been waiting long?”

“No. It just came out.”

It was a hassle to reheat the food, and I didn’t think it was right to make Lamierre wait any longer, so I found my seat. Isaac handed me a wet towel, and I took it to wipe my hands. The pure white towel became dirty in an instant. Hmm… to think I touched Kallios’s hair and face with these dirty hands. I felt a bit sorry.

It wasn’t a formal banquet, but since there was a guest, there were more menu items than usual. After checking the plates on the table, I pulled the closest one and took a bite. Once I started eating, Lamierre picked up his utensils.

“Were you very hungry?”

I asked, watching him stuff food into his mouth until his cheeks puffed out. Lamierre snapped his head up and chewed his food vigorously.

“Eat slowly. Slowly.”

I tried to stop him because it looked like he was trying to swallow it fast, but Lamierre squeezed his eyes shut, swallowed everything in his mouth, and then replied.

“Yes, Your Highness!”

To do all that just to give that answer… It was endearing, but a bit… well, silly. But I felt like he’d be hurt if I said that honestly. I just smiled and nodded. Lamierre smiled back at me.

I continued my meal while looking at Lamierre’s smiling face. Conscious of my advice to eat slowly, his pace dropped significantly.

“You said you’ll be 4th Circle soon?”

“Yes. I’ve caught the clue, so it will be soon… very soon.”

Lamierre, who had been slow with his spoon, answered immediately. I tore the bread into small pieces and scattered them into the soup bowl.

Up to the 3rd Circle, anyone can reach it sooner or later by gathering mana and learning formulas, but it is said that from the 4th Circle, one can only advance by gaining something called “enlightenment.” It’s a setting I’ve seen many times before, but I can’t blame the author for lack of creativity. In this world, it’s not a setting; it’s the truth.

Anyway, the original Lamierre had caught these “clues” whenever he crossed the threshold of death. That was why I thought his development would be slower than the original.

“That’s fast.”

In the original, Lamierre Weaver caught the clue for the 4th Circle after advancing to his second year. This Lamierre’s achievement was half a year faster than the original.

“It’s thanks to you, Your Highness.”

I looked up from stirring the soup and bread I didn’t even plan to eat. Lamierre was looking at me with a rare, smileless face.

“You told me to protect you properly next time.”

Lamierre set down his utensils and straightened his back. I also set down the spoon I was using to stir the soup.

“I thought I couldn’t afford to stand still if I wanted to do that.”

Lamierre, smiling sheepishly while rubbing his cheek, continued.

“Actually, being at the Academy like this is so good… and you being kind to me is good… right now, this situation alone feels like a dream.”

“Yes.”

“So… I think I had a desire to act a bit, just a little, like a spoiled child. No, I did. But those words really brought me to my senses.”

I didn’t think it was a line dramatic enough to “bring someone to their senses,” but well, if that’s how he took it, then that’s that. Having nothing specific to say, I just nodded. Lamierre sat quietly with his eyes downcast for a moment before starting with, “At that time.”

“When Your Highness… did that to your hand.”

“Ah.”

I instinctively looked at my left hand. A dot-like scar remained on the back. Because I had dug in with gritted teeth, the fountain pen nib had pierced through my palm. The scar on my palm was a bit larger. I checked the scar, which was about the size of a thumbnail.

“I felt strange then.”

“Strange?”

Lamierre, who had been contemplating with a humming sound, nodded.

“Yes. Strange… it was strange.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to be the one to protect you… Even though you came when I was scared—no, I was the one who called you—but anyway, you stayed by my side, and Your Highness is, well, in terms of physical strength.”

“Yes. I’m weak.”

“…Yes. You are, and I… I am a mage, and I was the one who called you, so I should be the one protecting you, but instead…”

Lamierre lowered his head deeply. It looked like his forehead would touch the table if he went any lower. I just laughed. This boy was currently embarrassed. Embarrassed that he had relied on and leaned on the “powerless” me.

What’s wrong with that?

At that time, physical strength wasn’t what was needed, and I had the ability to resolve the situation. Although it was something I did recklessly because it was the only thing I could do without any certainty, anyway, it worked out well enough.

“After that, I kept feeling pathetically… like a loser…”

“Lamierre. Look up.”

I am not a priest, and Lamierre hasn’t committed a sin that requires a confession. So, I cut him off firmly. Lamierre did not look up.

“Your Highness.”

“Yes.”

“I will grow up well.”

“Yes.”

“I was truly sorry back then.”

Earlier I was soothing the petty Kallios, and now I have to soothe Lamierre. I didn’t find it annoying. Saying a few words isn’t a difficult task. I stood up. Lamierre remained motionless with his head toward the table. I went over and stroked his back. Lamierre flinched but still didn’t look up.

“You were happy I came, weren’t you?”

“…”

“You liked it when that wall, that door, opened, didn’t you?”

“…Yes.”

“I felt the same way.”

Lamierre slowly raised his head. Looking at his dejected face, I touched the area around his eyes. Although I was flustered by suddenly becoming a guest, I didn’t dislike holding Lamierre, who must have been trembling in fear alone. While the burden of being responsible for two lives was heavy, it wasn’t agonizing. I did what I could do, and so we both returned alive and well.

While the wound from the fountain pen was healing, I did regret stabbing myself so crudely… but I never once resented Lamierre for calling me. I thought it was a relief that I could go. Otherwise, Lamierre would have died.

This world is vast, but my world was narrow. My entire world was a room on the 4th floor of the spire that took less than a minute to walk around. Naturally, the number of people in my world was small. For that tiny population to decrease would be more painful than having a palm pierced.

“You were glad I was there, right?”

“Yes…”

“Then give me your thanks instead of an apology.”

Lamierre made that “peach pit” expression with his chin again. I gripped his chin and pressed down.

“Hurry.”

“Thank you.”

“Good boy.”

“Thank you so much.”

“Right.”

Lamierre put a lot of strength into his face to hold back tears, his cheeks twitching before he cleared his throat.

“I will… I’ll become that kind of person for you, too.”

“Yes.”

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing at his tearful vow and nodded. This is killing me. Still, since this must be an important moment for Lamierre, I didn’t look away. Looking into his wet green eyes, I eventually burst into a chuckle.

“I should thank you in advance. Thanks, Lamierre.”

“Yeeesss…”

Lamierre covered his face with his hands.

“I look really ugly right now, don’t I…”

“Yes.”

“Ah…”

“It’s okay. You were uglier at the ruins.”

I laughed heartily as I watched Lamierre bury his head back into the table. Whether his tears had dried up or not, Lamierre let out strange noises while writhing in embarrassment. I gave his curly hair a long, affectionate stroke.