Severing the Ties That Bind

“…….”

The servants scattered with dejected faces. It was nauseating to see them acting kind now, when they had been so blatantly cold before. Regardless, the timing of my uncle’s absence was perfect. I hadn’t wanted to run into him at all. Just then, one of the errand-runners spoke up.

“Young Master, should we pack this doll too? It’s quite old.”

“Ah, give that to me.”

Leaving a house is always best done without a sound. After tucked the sheep plushie into my coat pocket, I looked around the room that had become empty in an instant. It was refreshing. I had made the right choice in hiring professionals. Leaving the mansion quickly without bidding anyone farewell, I handed the keys to the leader.

“Please move them to my room. Here are the keys.”

“Yes, we’ll leave the keys with the caretaker once everything is moved.”

After loading the luggage onto the carriage, the errand-runners headed back to the academy. Once again alone, I decided to go early to the place where I was supposed to meet Michael.

“Oh, right. I should buy flowers.”

I stepped into a florist that caught my eye.

“Mom, Dad.”

The birds that had been playing near the gravestones flew up into the trees as soon as they spotted me. I watched them settle on the branches before adjusting my grip on the bouquet. Two headstones made of white marble shimmered in the sunlight.

I laid the flowers down in front of the graves and spoke.

“I’m here.”

A breeze blew, lightly swaying the branches. I sat down abruptly in front of the stones.

“Michael is coming later, too. I have a surprise to tell you both once he gets here.”

I stared at the headstones for a long time. Then, I opened my mouth.

“I moved out of the house today.”

The branches shook again. I stared at them intently. Were my parents answering me through the trees? I shouldn’t read too much into it, but I always get sentimental when I come here. Last time, I was convinced the weather was nice just because they were happy to see me. I gave a small chuckle and continued.

“From that house where I lived with you two. I’m never going back. I’ve already taken everything I need. I’m sorry I couldn’t carry on the family name, Dad, but….”

Trailing off, I made a blunt confession.

“I thought this was better than running the family into the ground.”

My father was kind to me, but he was sharp as a blade regarding family affairs. To be honest, he never once told me I’d be a good Head of House, not even as a white lie. Whenever people asked him about me as an heir, he’d usually divert the conversation awkwardly, saying, “Uh, well, that is… anyway, let’s have some tea first.” I added, just in case:

“Ah, that doesn’t mean I resent you, Dad. If anything, I’m grateful. Thanks to that, I could give up the family more cleanly and do what I actually want to do.”

I fell silent after that. The branches didn’t shake anymore. As expected, I had been over-interpreting things. But I couldn’t help it. Like I said, I get emotional here.

“Thank you for loving me.”

“Thank you for bringing Cecil into this world.”

A soft voice resonated. At the sound, tears suddenly burst forth. As I stood frozen, unable to move, Michael—who had arrived late—wiped away my tears. I spoke in a trembling voice.

“Mom, Dad. You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

Michael quietly took my hand.

“Michael says he’ll stay by my side from now on. We’re going to live… really well.”

I squeezed Michael’s hand back.

“Thank you truly for giving me life.”

I ended up bawling after those words. My crying startled the birds into flight, and even as the sun set completely and darkness surrounded us, my tears didn’t stop.

I spoke while sprawled out on the bed.

“I’m sorry. Our trip to the sea ended up being pushed to tomorrow.”

Michael shook his head as he pressed an ice pack—obtained from the inn staff—against my face.

“No, we can just go early tomorrow morning. We have plenty of time anyway.”

“Thanks.”

Michael asked, “How are you feeling? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“You can be honest.”

I replied immediately.

“I’m not okay. I miss my parents so much.”

“…….”

“I’m sorry. For being a bother.”

Michael shook his head.

“No, it’s only natural for you to be this sad. Your parents were truly wonderful people.”

“Thanks for understanding, Michael.”

“Are you thirsty? Want a glass of water?”

“I’m okay. I’ll pour some myself if I get thirsty.”

“Alright. Then I’ll step out onto the terrace for a bit. Call me if you need anything.”

“Okay.”

Michael stood up and went out to the terrace. I slowly lowered the ice pack from my face. I realized a bit late that I had only been talking about myself. Michael had gone home today too; surely he had things he wanted to say.

I got off the bed, crept toward the terrace, and hugged Michael from behind.

“Why aren’t you resting more?”

“I only talked about myself. I felt bad.”

“What’s wrong with that? I like listening to you.”

“I like listening to you, too. Tell me anything you want to say.”

“…….”

After a moment of silence, Michael turned around to face me. His eyes were swirling with emotions unlike their usual self. I stroked Michael’s cheek.

“Are you okay?”

Michael shook his head. Both of us always end up in a mess after visiting our homes. I asked:

“……How was it for you?”

“The same as always.”

“Is Sophia healthy?”

Michael fell silent at my question. Did something happen to her? While I was imagining the worst and wondering how to comfort him, Michael spoke.

“I’m not going to see Sophia anymore either.”

“What? Why?”

Michael led me back into the room and sat me on the sofa. I was puzzled by his sudden movement, but then Michael buried his face in my chest.

Aha. Understanding, I stroked Michael’s hair. After sitting quietly and accepting my touch, Michael began to speak.

“Sophia is great in every way, but she has one flaw.”

“…What flaw?”

“The flaw of thinking that family is family, no matter what happens.”

“…….”

I immediately guessed what had happened. Michael said with a sad face:

“It wasn’t just once or twice; it happens every time I see her. I’m just so exhausted. She’s the one who looked after me, though… am I being too cruel?”

“No, I would have done the same.”

My shirt began to get damp. I kept stroking his hair.

“She held onto me as I was trying to leave after just seeing her face, telling me to see my parents just once. Even though she knows exactly what happens when I face them.”

“That must have been so upsetting.”

“I hate the phrase ‘but they’re family’ more than anything in the world. Does being family mean it’s okay to hit me like that and say those things?”

“No. Even if they’re family, they shouldn’t hit you or say things like that.”

“But hearing it over and over makes me wonder if I’m the problem. My head knows my parents are wrong, but hearing it constantly….”

“No, don’t think like that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.”

Michael looked up at me after a brief silence. As I wiped away the tears pooling in his eyes with my fingers, he whispered:

“Actually, I always found it fascinating whenever you missed your parents. I was jealous, too.”

“…….”

“And I was ashamed. I thought all parents were like that, but it was only mine.”

“……Why should you be ashamed of that? They’re the ones who should be ashamed.”

“But maybe it’s really because I did something to deserve the beating.”

I said firmly:

“When someone else does something wrong, don’t try to find the cause in yourself. A wrong is a wrong.”

“…….”

“So please, don’t think like that.”

At my pleading request, Michael nodded. He buried his face in my arms again and spoke like a whimpering child.

“I don’t want to be family with people like that.”

“Then don’t be.”

I stroked his hair again.

“People say blood is thicker than water, but I don’t believe that. I think family is a relationship you can cut off whenever you set your mind to it.”

“Can I really do that?”

“I’ll help you. Then you can.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Just as you’ve always helped me, I’ll help you.”

Michael’s body felt warmer. He confessed shyly:

“What should I do? I think I just fell for you again.”

“You can fall for me as much as you want. I fall for you over and over while I’m with you, too.”

“I’m so glad I didn’t die back then.”

“Don’t ever think like that again.”

“I won’t. How could I, when I have you?”

“Good. You’re doing great.”

I urged him:

“From now on, if you have thoughts like that, don’t suffer alone—tell me right away. Got it? You don’t like it when I suffer alone, either.”

“Yeah, I got it.”

I held out my pinky.

“Promise.”

Michael immediately hooked his finger with mine. Relieved at last, I wiped Michael’s tear-streaked face with a wet towel. It would have been more efficient for him to just wash his face again, but I wanted to do it for him. Once his face was clean, I spoke.

“Should we head to bed now?”

“Yeah, crying like that made me sleepy, too.”

I was glad I had washed up and changed clothes earlier. Michael and I lay down on our respective plush single beds. But what was this? This lingering feeling of lack. I used to be satisfied just being in the same space, but is that no longer enough?

I glanced at the adjacent bed. Michael was lying with his back completely toward me. What, am I the only one who can’t sleep? Truly, I’m the only pervert.

Regardless, even with his back turned, I could feel his handsomeness from here. How can someone even have a handsome back? After gazing at him with ecstatic eyes, I quickly turned my back to him and lay down as well. Seriously, he’s going to catch on that I’m a pervert at this rate. And Michael must be tired. Let’s just go to sleep. We have to wake up early tomorrow.