Having seen off that loyal and patriotic “finest warrior,” Lin Yu could finally settle down and quietly resume her reading.
Unfortunately, she had barely read for a few minutes before someone else sought her out.
“Can’t you all just let me read in peace—”
The complaint was still on the tip of her tongue when Lin Yu realized the person approaching her was no stranger.
Clad in a pristine white uniform, their head free of a steel helmet and adorned with a medic’s cap, the newcomer’s face bore a hint of weariness.
Her pristine attire and graceful bearing seemed to exist in a dimension entirely separate from the other soldiers in the trench, akin to a white crane having inadvertently wandered into a flock of domestic pigs.
Yet, Lin Yu was no longer one of the scrawny domestic pigs; at this very moment, she herself had become part of the white crane flock.
That particular white crane, seeking out another bedraggled, dirty white crane for a reunion, inquired, “How has your day been here?”
Lin Yu shook her head vigorously, like a rattle-drum, declaring, “Terrible, absolutely terrible.”
Especially that fellow she had encountered mere minutes ago—today had been utterly dreadful.
“Indeed,” Nangong conceded, pulling an iron box from behind her. “Having grown accustomed to working as a medic in the rear, it must be incredibly difficult to adjust to being suddenly called back to the front lines. But to make some amends, and as part of the special care we mentioned earlier—we’ve brought you a meal.”
The mess kit was identical in style to the one Lin Yu had used to deliver food to the deceased man last night; judging by the dents, it might even have been the very same one.
Under Nangong’s gentle gaze, she accepted the box, her fingers distinctly registering the warmth of the food from its base.
With a slight effort, she pried it open with her nail, and a rich aroma immediately wafted forth, smelling more delicious than any meal prepared by the mess hall cooks.
“How is it?” Nangong asked. “Commander Yang stir-fried this pot herself. The rice is underneath; knowing you eat a lot, she specifically packed it all down before putting it in.”
As she was describing the dishes inside the mess kit, Nangong’s expression suddenly shifted; she snatched the lid from Lin Yu’s hand, snapped it back onto the box, and then took the entire mess kit away from her.
With her dinner, which she had just prepared to eat, suddenly taken away, a small look of confusion appeared on her face. “What’s wrong?”
“How can you possibly eat in this environment? Look at your hands, they’re so utterly filthy. Come on, let’s head over to the Lieutenant’s side,” Nangong urged, taking Lin Yu’s left hand, stained with blood and grime, and pulling her towards the communication trench.
“Wait, wait… Don’t just drag me over there…”
Resisting the considerable pull from the medic in front of her, Lin Yu attempted to withdraw her hand, but Nangong’s grip proved too firm for her to succeed.
Maintaining her hold on Lin Yu’s left hand, she asked, “Are you planning to eat here?”
Lin Yu nodded. “I’ve been reassigned to this unit, so I can’t just leave whenever I want.”
“…Then at least wash your hands first.”
Nangong released Lin Yu’s hand, unhooked a canteen from her waist, unscrewed its cap, and poured water, helping Lin Yu wash away the dust and bloodstains.
After scrubbing her hands clean, she gently rubbed Lin Yu’s face with the remaining water, managing to wipe away some of the grime from her dirt-streaked expression.
“Even when stationed on the front lines, you must always pay attention to your appearance,” Nangong instructed, pulling a handkerchief from her uniform’s inner pocket to thoroughly dry Lin Yu’s dripping cheeks and chin. “With neat and presentable attire, wounded soldiers who see you will recover much faster.”
Had she just heard something incredibly idealistic?
Knowing her hands and face would only get dirty again soon after being cleaned, she had no desire to waste energy on such meaningless matters. “What’s the point of caring about all this during wartime? Just being alive is good enough.”
“Do you see any Lanforsians shelling us right now?” Nangong countered. “Although the two nations are at war, our defensive line is currently in a de facto state of peace.”
Upon hearing Nangong’s phrase “de facto state of peace,” the faces of the wounded soldiers unconsciously resurfaced in Lin Yu’s mind.
Especially “Mr. Lu,” the former commander of this unit, Corporal Lu Xunwu, whose death she had witnessed shortly after arriving at the front.
Of course, she did not recall the face of that particular idiot; he had shot himself by accident, a purely deserved fate.
Nangong handed the mess kit back to Lin Yu, along with a pair of chopsticks. “Did you forget to pack a mess kit when you were sorting your things? You don’t have to return this one.”
Upon opening the lid once more, another wave of fragrance wafted out, and Lin Yu could feel the envious and jealous gazes of the other soldiers directed at her.
Despite the appetizing dinner before her, Lin Yu hesitated to pick up her chopsticks.
“No appetite?” Nangong asked, noticing her prolonged inaction, then leaned closer to inquire.
“No, it’s very much to my liking, very delicious, it’s just…”
Lin Yu trailed off, shaking her head again.
As she wasn’t yet mentally prepared to confide in Nangong, she ultimately picked up a piece of braised pork with her chopsticks and took a hearty bite.
The sweet aroma and tender, glutinous texture were undoubtedly two, if not three, times more delicious than the mess hall cooks’ original stew.
“Just what?” Nangong pressed, noticing the unusual expression on Lin Yu’s face. She lightly flicked her forehead. “It seems, Lin Yu, you’ve been led astray by others; now you’re even keeping secrets from me.”
‘Oh dear, she had been found out.’
Rubbing the spot where she’d been flicked with the back of her right hand, Lin Yu began to articulate the nascent theory forming in her mind to Nangong.
“It’s just that I feel everyone treating me like this makes me seem very special.”
Lin Yu didn’t wish to be remarkably special; she simply wanted to be an ordinary medic, quietly fulfilling her duties and tasks.
As long as she earned the three thousand wen stipend the emperor paid monthly, she would be content and justified.
“I’m not anyone special; I don’t deserve such exceptional treatment,” she whispered, lowering her voice to the medic in front of her. “Moreover, Nangong, with you all coming to deliver meals and giving me special care every day, it makes it very difficult for me to integrate with everyone else.”
Both of them were privates, so why was she the one receiving care from the commander?
Why was she allowed to have special meals and eat alone?
Envy and jealousy were one thing, but rumors of a special relationship with a superior officer were another. Most importantly, doing so would only add another layer of ill repute to Lin Yu’s already dreadful reputation, which had been tarnished by the “Grim Reaper” rumors.
Suddenly, her cheek was pinched, jolting Lin Yu from her reverie; Nangong was already squatting before her, cradling her face in her hands.
“What do you mean ‘seem’ special?
Haven’t you realized you are already special enough?”
“Me? Special? Where am I special?”
“As the only woman among this group of rough soldiers, isn’t it only natural to receive some preferential treatment?” Nangong challenged. “Or are you planning to maintain your little disguise even in the trenches, becoming a modern-day ‘Liu Yulan’ (TL Note: A historical figure who, like Hua Mulan, disguised herself as a man to join the army in place of her father.)?”
That person was a historical figure from this world’s Diacla, who took her father’s place in the army, much like the legend of “Hua Mulan” from her previous life.
The only difference was that she ultimately didn’t return home victorious, her true gender only discovered by her comrades after her sacrifice.
“I’m already very special… I am…”
“Exactly!” Nangong affirmed. “Whether it’s your talent for magic, your capacity for learning, or your rare and precious compassion. You are different from these people, and you are different from those Lanforsians; you are simply the one and only you.”
Holding her mess kit and listening to Nangong speak of her this way, Lin Yu felt a sense of bewilderment.
“There will never be another you in this world, never another clever little mind like yours.
If we don’t give you preferential treatment, if we don’t provide some special care, and you end up sacrificing yourself ordinarily in the trenches like everyone else, where would I ever find a second ‘Lin Yu’?”
Nangong said she was unique.
Nangong said she was special enough.
Nangong touched her forehead…
“But what about them,” Lin Yu challenged, “those who have died, who are buried, who can no longer speak, those who were also unique and irreplaceable—”
Just as no two leaves in the world are exactly alike, neither are any two people completely identical.
Each ordinary person, appearing as a casualty statistic in the reports, was a child’s father, a wife’s husband, a parent’s son; to their respective “Nangongs,” they too were unique.
“I don’t think I deserve to be treated this way, I don’t think I deserve this special treatment; I’m just an ordinary… ordinary…”
“Don’t think like that. How can you belittle yourself?”
The words of encouragement fell upon her ears, and Lin Yu silently lowered her head.
Since things had come to this, it was best to eat first.