Use Me As Much As You Want

“Are you okay? Did you get hurt anywhere?”

The moment he pushed Seonwoo out, Jeongha rushed to Haeyoon, checking him over thoroughly.

His voice was so anxious that anyone would think Haeyoon had been seriously hurt.

“I’m not hurt, it’s fine. He didn’t even hit me.”

“If he had, Ahn Seonwoo would be dead by my hands.”

Jeongha said it without batting an eye, his words chilling.

When he saw Ahn Seonwoo raise his hand at Haeyoon, Jeongha had nearly lost his mind right then and there.

If he had been even a moment later and Haeyoon had actually been harmed, Jeongha probably wouldn’t have let Seonwoo leave without a scratch.

Despite Haeyoon’s insistence that he was fine, Jeongha sat him down in a chair, knelt on one knee before him, and carefully checked his shoulders, arms, and legs with his hands.

Even when Haeyoon told him he was okay and to get up, he was stubborn.

Watching this with a dazed look, Haeyoon soon spoke.

“How did you get here so quickly?”

They were supposed to meet today, but the time was set for the evening.

It was curious why Jeongha, who was supposed to be at school, was here now.

Jeongha shrugged.

“One of my classes was suddenly canceled, so I came to surprise you, but I ended up being the one surprised.”

His voice finally lightened after he had thoroughly confirmed with his own eyes that Haeyoon had no injuries and didn’t seem to be in pain.

It was truly fortunate that Seonwoo hadn’t closed the door properly, allowing him to come right in.

Remembering Haeyoon standing there without even defending himself while Seonwoo was being aggressive made his heart sink again.

Jeongha spoke, his face showing dissatisfaction.

“So, if I hadn’t come, were you just going to stand there and let him hit you?”

Haeyoon answered as if wondering why he was even asking such a thing.

“…I didn’t think Seonwoo would actually try to hit me.”

The moment he heard that, Jeongha’s chest tightened again.

Seo Haeyoon was this kind of person.

He didn’t understand malice, and he didn’t know how to treat others badly.

If he hadn’t been here, the pain Haeyoon would have had to endure alone was clear in his mind, and the anger he had barely suppressed surged again.

That was why.

Why Baek Jeongha hadn’t grabbed Ahn Seonwoo by the collar and thrown him out today.

Why he had used a tone and expression that would allow Seonwoo to misunderstand.

Jeongha still wanted Ahn Seonwoo to not give up on him.

He wanted to leave a small ember in his heart.

When all was said and done, neither Ahn Seonwoo nor Oh Jaeyeol should have a place to return to.

Baek Jeongha had no intention of standing idly by while the two who had toyed with Haeyoon so miserably lived on as a happy, carefree couple.

Those two needed to be more miserable, more pained than Haeyoon had been.

It would only be fair for both of them to become utterly alone, crying bitterly as they regretted their wrong choices.

Before he knew it, Jeongha, who had started this game as a joke, had become more earnest about it than anyone.

“From now on, be careful not to meet Ahn Seonwoo alone without me.”

At his words, Haeyoon pressed his lips together.

The concern in his voice stirred something in a corner of his heart.

It reminded him of the day Jeongha had rushed over with porridge as soon as he knew Haeyoon was sick.

Could some people be this kind out of mere curiosity?

It was something Haeyoon couldn’t comprehend.

Nevertheless, right now it was a comfort.

Even knowing that he would eventually leave, he didn’t want to distance himself from him right now.

“…Yeah. I will.”

Haeyoon readily agreed.

He was glad to have someone with whom it was okay to show this pathetic side of himself.

* * * *

“But earlier….”

“Yeah?”

Jeongha, who had been helping Haeyoon clean up the messy studio, stopped moving at Haeyoon’s tentative voice and looked at him.

Haeyoon was fiddling with a brush, not looking at Jeongha, clearly avoiding his eyes.

Wondering what he wanted to say, Jeongha waited silently, and soon Haeyoon spoke in a small voice.

“The conversation I had with Seonwoo earlier… did you happen to hear it?”

“Earlier? No.”

“Ah….”

“The door was open, so I came right in, but as soon as I entered, Ahn Seonwoo was about to raise his hand, so I just grabbed him first.”

All Jeongha had heard was Seonwoo’s enraged curses.

Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t heard what they talked about to make Seonwoo that agitated.

Normally, Baek Jeongha would have focused on that first, but he seemed to have erased everything else from his mind after being relieved that Haeyoon was unharmed.

Realizing belatedly just how much he had been concerned for Haeyoon’s safety, Jeongha felt a bit dazed as he asked Haeyoon.

“I was curious about that. Why was Ahn Seonwoo acting so crazy?”

At the stark expression “acting so crazy,” Haeyoon bit his lip slightly, almost bursting into laughter.

Realizing that Seonwoo’s state could be described that way, and that he had somewhat found that description satisfying, felt a little unfamiliar to him.

Haeyoon quickly shook off that feeling and continued.

“Actually, I said something a bit….”

“A bit?”

“A bit mean. To Seonwoo.”

“You… said something mean to Ahn Seonwoo?”

Jeongha asked back as if he’d heard something unbelievable and sat on the edge of the desk, looking at Haeyoon.

Feeling embarrassed under his gaze, Haeyoon worried what Baek Jeongha would think if he knew the blatant mockery he’d thrown at Seonwoo.

Yet, he didn’t know why he was bringing this up to Jeongha.

If he hadn’t heard it, he could just let it pass, so why was he voluntarily telling him?

Haeyoon himself wasn’t sure of the reason.

It was simply an impulse to speak.

Haeyoon was never impulsive, yet strangely, when he was with Jeongha, he kept saying and doing things that weren’t like him.

“What did you say?”

Jeongha asked Haeyoon, who was nodding with his gaze still averted.

Haeyoon couldn’t see it, but Jeongha’s eyes were sparkling with interest.

What on earth did he say to make Ahn Seonwoo lose his mind like that?

And why did Seo Haeyoon want to tell him about it?

He was so curious about everything it was maddening.

As if confessing something significant, Haeyoon swallowed dryly several times before carefully speaking.

“I asked him what Baek Jeongha had to do with him.”

“…….”

“When it wasn’t like you two were engaged, like me and Oh Jaeyeol….”

‘Did you date Baek Jeongha without me knowing? Or… were you engaged to him, like I was to Oh Jaeyeol?’

The feeling from that moment came back—the moment he had finally returned the humiliation he had only endured without a single word of rebuttal.

The words he hadn’t been able to say back then, when he was hurt hearing the perpetrator shamelessly spout nonsense, he could finally say today.

“I asked why he was angry. I… said that to him. To Ahn Seonwoo.”

Only after saying that did Haeyoon dimly realize why he had wanted to tell Jeongha this.

He wanted Baek Jeongha to know.

That he wasn’t just taking it like a fool.

That he wasn’t acting like a pathetic pushover.

Did he want recognition from him?

Maybe.

Had he wanted praise?

Perhaps.

Above all, Haeyoon wanted to let Jeongha know that at least his efforts on his behalf hadn’t been in vain.

Only then did Haeyoon slowly lift his gaze from the floor and look at Jeongha.

His heart pounded as if it would burst with tension.

What if Jeongha thought it was pathetic?

What if he thought it was no big deal to have said that, and wondered why Haeyoon was acting so proud?

Finally, their eyes met in the air, and Baek Jeongha spoke with a gentle smile.

“You did well.”

“Ah….”

“Wow, Ahn Seonwoo must have felt terrible.”

Those simple words brought such relief that the tension drained from him.

He was grateful that Jeongha didn’t dismiss it as nothing, and he was glad for the praise, even though he hadn’t done anything particularly great.

Meanwhile, Jeongha, who had been sitting on the desk, rose and moved a little closer to Haeyoon.

Though he was trying to appear calm, it was actually Jeongha who was more agitated inside.

He had almost pulled Seo Haeyoon into his arms right then.

Because every emotion—fondness, tenderness—came rushing in explosively.

It was encouraging that Haeyoon, who had been looked down upon several times without ever properly reacting, had finally verbally attacked Ahn Seonwoo.

But what excited Jeongha even more was that Haeyoon’s weapon had been Baek Jeongha himself.

Imagining Seo Haeyoon wielding his position as Baek Jeongha’s lover—the very position Ahn Seonwoo had never been able to attain—against Seonwoo, made heat spread through his entire body in an instant.

“You can do more. It’s okay.”

Jeongha, now close enough to be right in front of Haeyoon, gently took his wrist and slowly slid his hand up his arm.

“You have me now.”

This romance was clearly fake.

No sincerity toward each other, just a chaotic relationship built on revenge and curiosity.

“You can flaunt me all you want.”

But was it really only that?

Between Baek Jeongha and Seo Haeyoon, was it still just petty revenge and fleeting curiosity?

“That’s what I’m here for.”

Baek Jeongha spoke, like a knight pledging to protect his lord.

Strangely, his words felt infinitely reassuring, and Haeyoon was afraid of nothing.