The Exchange

They finished dinner simply with food that appeared to have been prepared in advance by the building’s caretaker.

Cooking for themselves was fun, but it was too cumbersome to do every day.

On top of that, ordering delivery food in this apartment complex meant asking the security guard for help, which felt a bit awkward.

“Sunbae, what did you usually do when you were home alone?”

“……Alone?”

“Yes. Lately, you just watch TV while hanging out with me.”

In truth, they didn’t just watch TV.

They would set up a beam projector to watch movies, or help each other with assignments on their laptops.

Once, they even played console games that Yoon Dae-eon had borrowed.

However, these were all things that Yoon Dae-eon had suggested first.

Seon Ji-ha had never stepped forward to suggest anything.

Realizing that fact belatedly, Yoon Dae-eon suddenly felt sorry for Seon Ji-ha.

Just because he was a man of few words didn’t mean he had no opinions.

Had he just been pushing his own agenda and dragging the other along?

“Alone…….”

Only after hearing Yoon Dae-eon’s words did Seon Ji-ha think about what he used to do when he was by himself.

Alone.

By himself.

What did he usually do when Yoon Dae-eon wasn’t around?

No matter how hard he tried to think, nothing came to mind.

On the other hand, he could clearly remember everything he did when he was alone after meeting Yoon Dae-eon.

He would love it if Yoon Dae-eon were by his side every hour, every minute, and every second, but that wasn’t possible.

Seon Ji-ha knew that, too.

That was why he didn’t desperately try to stop Yoon Dae-eon from going home for his lectures the next day.

Even if he did show he was upset.

Whenever Yoon Dae-eon was away like that, Seon Ji-ha would think about him.

When will he come back?

What is he doing?

Surely, he isn’t meeting ‘that person,’ is he?

Every so often, when the anxiety and restlessness became too much to bear, he would send a message.

It was only when he had suppressed it and suppressed it until he could hold it no longer.

“……Eat, sleep……?”

“That’s not it. I mean, besides that, you don’t even drink, so you were just at home. What did you do then?”

“…….”

Seon Ji-ha even closed his mouth to think, but regrettably, nothing came to mind.

It was astonishing how he couldn’t remember what he had done before meeting Yoon Dae-eon.

When Seon Ji-ha couldn’t answer in the end, Yoon Dae-eon laughed in vain and shook his head.

“So that’s why we were always on the phone at night! Now that I see it, you must have been incredibly bored, Sunbae.”

“……Yes, I was bored.”

Only after hearing Yoon Dae-eon’s words did Seon Ji-ha realize that his life before meeting him had been terribly dull.

It wasn’t fun, so it hadn’t left a mark on his memory.

Old memories were as blurred as paper soaked in water.

He wasn’t a fool, so he didn’t forget everything completely.

It just hadn’t been impressive.

Days spent mechanically eating, sleeping, and studying.

Come to think of it, maybe that was why he had clung to his studies so desperately.

Seon Ji-ha, who had been lost in a daze, suddenly looked down at Yoon Dae-eon.

Lower than his own eye level, Yoon Dae-eon was looking up at him intently.

“Sunbae, did you know?”

“……What?”

“Sometimes, when you’re lost in thought like this.”

Yoon Dae-eon reached out his index finger and tapped the bridge of his nose.

“You get wrinkles right here.”

Seon Ji-ha touched the bridge of his nose with an incredibly unfamiliar expression.

Some strands of his long bangs brushed against his fingernails.

Except for when his mother used to braid his hair when he was very young, he had never cut his hair short enough to reveal his field of vision clearly.

Because of that, it was rare even for himself to see his own face in the mirror.

Yoon Dae-eon said with a grin.

“But you look super handsome like that. Sunbae, do you want to go get our hair cut together next time?”

“My hair……?”

“Yes. My hair is thin, so it always poofs up. So I go get a down perm often. You should come with me then and get your hair done, too.”

Yoon Dae-eon joked, asking if everyone at the university wouldn’t know how handsome his Sunbae was then.

Seon Ji-ha had never thought about grooming his hair in his life.

He cut it roughly now and then because it was a nuisance when it got too long, but he didn’t like having his field of vision cleared.

That was because he had never been curious about other people’s faces or what the world looked like.

Despite that, to Yoon Dae-eon’s suggestion to ‘go together,’ Seon Ji-ha answered like this.

“……I’d like that…….”

Anything.

Anything was fine.

Any ‘new experience’ that Yoon Dae-eon offered was good.

Because those words meant that Yoon Dae-eon and Seon Ji-ha would be together.

They sat on the floor below the sofa and spent a long time chatting, even searching for how to best cut Seon Ji-ha’s hair.

Usually, it was Yoon Dae-eon making various recommendations, and Seon Ji-ha would reply that everything sounded great, as if he could pull off any hairstyle.

It was then that Yoon Dae-eon, who had been talking without losing track of time, suddenly checked the clock at the top of his phone.

“Whoa, time flies so fast. Sunbae, I’m going to get going now.”

Yoon Dae-eon could now somewhat predict how Seon Ji-ha would react when he said this.

Seon Ji-ha would probably reach out his hand…….

“……Why?”

“What do you mean why? I have to go to school tomorrow. Aren’t you being too much, Sunbae, acting like you don’t have any lectures?”

He grabbed the hem of Yoon Dae-eon’s sleeve, his face looking so disappointed that it felt like he was about to burst into sorrow.

Then, as if asking if he really had to go, asking ‘Why?’ was a habit of Seon Ji-ha’s.

Yoon Dae-eon smiled slightly at the habit he had gotten used to over the past few days.

“Tomorrow, I only have one lecture…….”

“It’s one, but it’s in the morning. It’s more comfortable for me to sleep at my place. And I don’t have clothes to wear tomorrow.”

At the mention of not having clothes, Seon Ji-ha stood up abruptly and went into his room.

Yoon Dae-eon, left abandoned in the living room in an instant, blinked his eyes.

It was less than five minutes before he returned.

Seon Ji-ha handed what he had brought to Yoon Dae-eon.

“Sunbae, what is all this?”

“……Clothes…….”

Yoon Dae-eon looked down at what was in his arms, wondering if he had seen wrong.

Just as Seon Ji-ha said, they were clothes.

But they were all brand-new, with the plastic packaging still on them.

“The brand… you wear often…….”

“The brand I wear often? Did I have one of those? I didn’t even know.”

“This one, and this one. You wear them a lot…….”

When he saw the labels Seon Ji-ha pointed out, they were familiar.

However, it wasn’t that Yoon Dae-eon chose them because he wanted to wear them often; they were just the brands he picked because the price range and fit suited him best when he browsed online sites.

Seon Ji-ha looked at Yoon Dae-eon with expectant eyes after handing him the clothes.

That look seemed to say, ‘Is this okay now?’

Although Yoon Dae-eon had been using ‘not having clothes’ as an excuse every time he returned to his own home instead of sleeping at Seon Ji-ha’s, he hadn’t expected him to suddenly buy clothes.

Yoon Dae-eon laughed awkwardly, looking at the newly acquired clothes.

“I get it. I’ll sleep over today.”

“……!”

“But, don’t buy things like this anymore. Instead, if I don’t have a lecture the next day and have nothing to do, I’ll sleep here. How about that?”

Yoon Dae-eon couldn’t quite misunderstand the heart of Seon Ji-ha, who wanted to sleep with him, so he urged him instead of rejecting the clothes.

Seon Ji-ha watched Yoon Dae-eon quietly before asking.

“……Is this an exchange, too?”

Exchange?

He blinked at the sudden word.

Then, he remembered the ‘exchange’ they had talked about before.

An alternative he had offered for Seon Ji-ha, who hated conceding, being taken advantage of, or having things stolen by others.

Seon Ji-ha shone his black eyes and asked again.

“If I don’t buy clothes from now on, Dae-eon will sleep at my house if he doesn’t have work the next day. Right, Dae-eon?”

“That…… is correct.”

“I see. So this is an exchange…….”

Something felt weird, but he couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong.

While Yoon Dae-eon hesitated, hugging the clothes, Seon Ji-ha tapped the floor with his index finger and returned to his innocent-looking face.

“Then, let’s get ready for bed now…….”

***********************************************

It had only been five days since Yoon Dae-eon started sleeping at Seon Ji-ha’s house.

He had only been sleeping with him for four days.

Seon Ji-ha’s bed was still as wide as ever.

Yoon Dae-eon, who had finished showering before Seon Ji-ha, was wearing his T-shirt again today and shaking his hair dry with a towel.

The new clothes Seon Ji-ha had bought were all daily wear; there were no pajamas.

Because of that, he had to borrow his T-shirt like last time.

Beneath the T-shirt, he was wearing boxers as well.

It wasn’t that Seon Ji-ha hadn’t offered him pants, but, as expected, they wouldn’t have fit.

Handing over his own pants, Seon Ji-ha had a subtle smile on his lips.

“The bedding is really like a hotel.”

Sitting heavily on the bed, Yoon Dae-eon gently stroked the sheets that were arranged without a single wrinkle.

The blankets at Yoon Dae-eon’s home were old ones he had used since his parents were living together, so no matter how well he washed them, they never felt like this.

Yoon Dae-eon slid into the blankets before Seon Ji-ha even came out.

He only intended to lie down and wait for Seon Ji-ha because he was tired.

However, Yoon Dae-eon, who was a heavy sleeper, just started nodding off and fell asleep before Seon Ji-ha had even come out.

In his dream, his father appeared.

His father, who was walking through an amusement park while holding young Yoon Dae-eon’s hand tightly.

Then, finding his mother in the distance, his father wore the brightest smile imaginable.

Little Yoon Dae-eon looked up at his father silently.

His father, who held his hand tightly, didn’t even glance at Yoon Dae-eon right by his side.

It seemed he could only see his mother.

‘Dad?’

Feeling so aggrieved even in his dream, Yoon Dae-eon called out to him and shook their clasped hands to get his attention.

Only then did his father slowly turn his head to look down at Yoon Dae-eon.

However, his father’s gaze as he looked at Yoon Dae-eon was so indifferent and dry.

Without a single expression.

“Ah.”

Yoon Dae-eon woke up from his sleep, gasping for breath, and realized that his throat felt incredibly parched.

Was it because he had a nightmare?

……No, it wasn’t a nightmare since his mom and dad appeared.

Thinking that, he suddenly realized that he wasn’t at his home, but at his Sunbae’s.

Right. He had fallen asleep without knowing it while waiting for his Sunbae to come out from showering.

Yoon Dae-eon turned his head to look beside him.

But it was empty.

Judging by the fact that the blanket was pushed aside, it didn’t seem like he hadn’t been there from the beginning.

Yoon Dae-eon got out of bed to get a drink of water.

The door was left open, leaving a tiny gap.

Seon Ji-ha’s house didn’t have the creaking hinge sounds that Yoon Dae-eon’s house had every time a door opened or closed.

Thanks to that, Yoon Dae-eon slowly opened the door and stepped out.

Yoon Dae-eon, who naturally intended to head toward the kitchen connected to the living room, sensed an unfamiliar noise coming from somewhere in the house that should have been quiet in the dead of night.

He slowly turned his head to look at the room even further in than the bedroom.

“…….”

His footsteps headed slowly inside.

Is Sunbae there?

The closer he got, the clearer the sound became.

Splash, splash. A wet, watery sound was heard.

The sound was quite persistent and rough.

Then, Yoon Dae-eon stopped in front of the room where the noise was coming from.

Like the bedroom, the door was left slightly ajar.

Instead of bursting the door open, Yoon Dae-eon slowly brought his eyes to the gap.

The sight that had been hidden for a moment soon revealed the scene inside the room clearly.

“……Hah…….”

Yoon Dae-eon knew that the broad back was Seon Ji-ha.

Without realizing it, he moved his Adam’s apple and swallowed.

Seon Ji-ha’s figure, turned half-away from the door, was faintly visible in the darkness.

One of his hands was firmly gripping something below.

The splashing water sound must have come from there.

Also, the other hand that wasn’t holding the object was…….

“Gasp.”

Yoon Dae-eon covered his mouth without realizing it.

He thought the gasp sound was something he had made in the moment.

Because, in Seon Ji-ha’s other hand, his own clothes from earlier today were clutched tightly.