A Bad Habit

The sound of the door opening reached my ears. I relaxed my hands, which had been fidgeting with the bedsheet. Approaching footsteps followed. If it were Isaac, he would have called out to me immediately, so the person entering now had to be Kallios.

“Brother.”

See, I was right. I stayed still without answering. The sound of a chair dragging, the sound of someone sitting, and the sound of pages flipping quickly followed in sequence. Because I had been under the covers for so long, the air inside was stuffy and thick with my own breath. I slowly pulled back the blanket.

“You’re here?”

“Yes.”

“Are you going to read?”

“Yes.”

He flipped a few more pages, perhaps searching for where he had left off. I watched him for a moment before patting the space beside me on the bed.

“Come here for a second.”

“…”

“Kallios.”

“Yes.”

“Come here.”

His gaze, which had been fixed on the book, flickered toward me briefly before returning to the pages. It was acting up again—that bad habit of only responding to the things he wanted to answer.

“Kallios.”

“Yes.”

“Hurry up.”

He answered just fine when I called his name, but pretending he couldn’t hear me telling him to come over was irritating.

I sat up, hugging the blanket. If he wouldn’t come to me, I’d just go to him. It was only six steps from the bed to the table. It wasn’t like I couldn’t walk that far.

I slipped into my slippers and dragged the blanket along with me as I approached him. I peered over his shoulder at the book dense with text and reached out. His shoulder flinched. I smiled and stroked his hair.

“Kallios.”

“Yes.”

“Is it interesting?”

Instead of answering, he closed the book to show me the cover. History of the Argenta Empire: Part Two. It looked boring. I pulled out the chair next to him and sat down. He opened the book again.

I rested my chin on my hand and watched him. The pages turned at a regular pace. I honestly couldn’t tell if he was actually reading or just flipping them because it felt like time to do so. Part of me wanted to test him. Hey there, student. Read this sentence out loud. What does it mean? But would he even listen if I spoke? When he had flipped about five or six pages, I slumped onto the table and rested my cheek against the surface.

I reached out and covered the book. Kallios, who was about to turn a page, stopped in his tracks.

“I met Marquis Lomond today.”

“I heard.”

“He said it would be best to leave in the spring.”

I toyed with the book by waving my hand over it, then took his hand. It was pulled toward me easily. I straightened his curled fingers one by one and then overlapped my hand onto his palm. He was a head taller than me, and his hands were exactly one knuckle larger than mine.

“Brother.”

“Hmm?”

Maybe he had come straight from work, as there was a faint ink stain on his index finger. I tried to rub it off with my thumb, but when it didn’t budge, I just held it.

“Why did you stop mid-sentence?”

My cheek pressed against the table felt cold. I pulled the blanket over to use as a pillow.

Kallios remained silent for a long time before letting out a breath that was half-sigh.

“Do you really feel nothing?”

“I do.”

“Why…”

I looked at Kallios, who was glaring at the book with a furrowed brow, and laughed. If I truly felt nothing, I would have thrown off the blanket and welcomed him the moment I knew he walked in. Instead, I had held my breath and listened to the sounds outside the blanket, terrified he might actually come to the bed.

“You’re strong, you know.”

“…It is because you are weak, Brother.”

“No. You’re just strong.”

I playfully shook our joined hands. He had been letting me move his hand as I pleased, but suddenly he applied strength and resisted. I looked at the hand that had come to a dead stop and wrapped both of my hands around it. He relaxed his grip.

“I have bruises on my wrists.”

It hadn’t been that long since the bruises Lamierre made disappeared, and now my wrists were bruised blue again. This time on both sides. It didn’t make moving uncomfortable, but my situation felt a bit pathetic and ridiculous. Just how weak am I? Kallios’s expression crumpled before smoothing out again.

“Brother.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you really have to go?”

“Yeah.”

His fingers slid between mine, settling into place. I looked at our interlaced hands and closed my eyes. I heard the sound of a page turning; he was reading again.

I spent a long time fiddling with his hand while listening to that sound, eventually murmuring under my breath. The words that suddenly popped out were both an excuse for him and a rationalization for myself.

“That child… he only did that because he never learned any other way to express himself. You probably know that better than I do.”

‘Kallios,’ that child, had no choice but to live that way. That was why I didn’t hate the child who did ‘that’ to me, the child who made Kallios do ‘that.’ I was just sad. It was painful.

“Brother.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think I am different from him?”

I opened my eyes. He was looking at the book.

That child was the most miserable Kallios, and this Kallios was the most happy… well, even if not the happiest, he was the one living a much better life. I couldn’t completely separate the two yet. Their beginnings were the same. However.

“You’re my brother.”

“…”

“That child is…”

I shut my mouth because no appropriate expression came to mind. What was that child to me? At first, he was a spoiler for Kallios, then he was just a pitiful, tragic kid…

“I don’t know. What is he?”

I recalled the boy who used to kiss the tops of my feet. To me, someone who provided no help and only caused trouble, that child had willingly sacrificed his everything. Just because someone like me was the Emperor.

“Well, anyway, I think you’re different.”

I couldn’t separate them entirely, but that didn’t mean I thought they were the same person. Excluding their appearance, they were so different it was hard to believe they had the same start. Their gait, their way of speaking, the look in their eyes, the way they treated me—their past, present, and future were all different.

I tapped the back of his hand twice and then placed his hand back on the book.

“So I’m okay.”

That child lived his whole life that way, but he—we—did not.

Of course, we are unique to each other, but we aren’t in a relationship where we have to sacrifice our everything to prove our worth. we were living lives that were much more abundant and kind to us. Even if he’s a bit confused right now because his memories are mixed up, Kallios will realize it soon.

There was no reason for us to be swept away by that child’s extreme and desperate expressions.

Kallios gazed at me fixedly. I gave a wide grin, then rubbed my face sheepishly because he closed the book as if he had no more business there and stood up. I was about to ask if he was leaving already, but I stopped. Kallios left the room without even saying goodbye.

I didn’t see Kallios after that day. I thought I saw him sitting in his designated seat a few times in my sleep, but I couldn’t tell if it was a dream or reality. I could have found out immediately by asking Isaac, but I didn’t bother. It wasn’t so much a sense of brotherly patience… it was pettiness. That rude little b*stard. Did he really think I was “okay” just because I said I was “okay”? I tried to be broad-minded for his sake, and he just walked out without a word and hasn’t contacted me since!

Kallios alone was enough to make me annoyed, but Marquis Lomond also got on my nerves. Apparently, getting doused in tea was a pleasant experience for him, because he kept visiting and singing the same old song about me getting married.

“Are you actually insane?”

“I am not.”

“Let’s say I agree, but what about the kid’s future?”

Isaac answered with a determined expression.

“I am… fine with it.”

“Ha.”

Is your middle name Shim Cheong? Am I the blind father? Are you planning to throw yourself into the grave of marriage instead of the Indangsu Sea? You unfilial child! I was dying of frustration, but Marquis Lomond just sat there smirking, praising Isaac’s loyalty. I don’t need that kind of loyalty. If you really care about me, please oppose this with your life.

“I’m fine too! Actually, I like it?”

Lamierre raised his hand high. I closed my eyes and held my forehead.

“I think a Grand Duchess who is an Archmage would be a great strength to Your Highness and the Duchy.”

“If we’re going by that logic… wouldn’t a Grand Duchess who is a Swordmaster be better?”

“Hey. A Swordmaster belongs as the Knight Commander.”

“An Archmage can be the Tower Master.”

Why are these two competing? I’m really not interested. And you guys aren’t an Archmage or a Swordmaster yet. Why are you acting like you’ve already made it?

“It’s a shame that bigamy isn’t allowed under Imperial Law.”

Marquis Lomond said with an expression that didn’t look shameful at all.

Lamierre and Isaac began to argue in earnest about which of them would make a better Grand Duchess. If Lamierre desperately appealed his strengths, Isaac would counter by saying he was better. I didn’t have the energy to stop them, so I just let them be. Yeah, kids grow up by fighting… Go ahead, have at it. I just mashed the cake in front of me with a disgruntled look.

Their duel ended in a draw. Isaac probably would have won if it went to the end, but before Lamierre could admit defeat, Marquis Lomond tapped his teacup twice with a teaspoon to stop them. I sighed as I ate the powdered cake with a fork. If the Marquis hadn’t stopped them, the Grand Duchess might have been decided by foot size.

“Your Highness. This isn’t a real marriage.”

“I know.”

“If you are truly worried about the Grand Duchess’s future, you can simply divorce after the Emperor’s heir is decided.”

“I suppose.”

“What is bothering you so much that you refuse?”

The smile had vanished from Marquis Lomond’s face. I looked at him for a moment and then put down my fork.

“I hate the idea of my kids making important life decisions for purely political reasons—even if this is a very important matter. I want them to follow their hearts when it comes to marriage.”

It was a difficult wish. Just as we lived enjoying many things, we were in a position to shoulder many responsibilities. We couldn’t do everything we wanted. But at the very least, I wanted them to choose the person they would spend their life with based on their heart’s desire. If there’s no one, well, they can just live alone.

Anyway, I want my kids to be like that, but if I do something like a political marriage and then tell them not to… they’ll never listen.

Especially Sierra.

I could perfectly imagine my princess, the moment she turns seventeen, going on a hunger strike because she wants to marry some heir from a powerful family in a loveless marriage. If I were married to one of these two idiots, I wouldn’t be able to stop her. She’d ask why she can’t if her brother did it. It’s truly terrifying. A chill ran down my spine.

“To do that, I have to set an example. Unless I actually want to get married… I don’t want to do it out of necessity.”

As the saying goes, one must even be careful when drinking cold water in front of children. I laughed as I saw the subtle expression on Marquis Lomond’s face.

“The Marquis has a child, so you must understand.”

“Well…”

He cleared his throat. Marquis Lomond was a well-known fool for his daughter. He likely understood exactly what I meant.

“Then how about just an engagement?”

“These two are also my kids.”

I immediately shut down his lingering question. He just nodded while twisting the end of his Pringles mustache. I leaned back against the sofa and tilted my head back. My muscles were stiff and it hurt a little, but it soon felt refreshing.

“When should I go?”

“If you aren’t going to get married… it would be best to go before winter starts.”

“Winter?”

“Yes. Because the hungry monsters of the Abbas Mountains will be coming down.”

Supposedly, the Aphelion Republic hired mercenaries every winter to deal with the incoming monsters. During the winter season, it was cheaper to hire mercenaries than to station an army to protect a couple of viscounties.

The Marquis said that taking the Imperial Army to block the monsters would be a great help in establishing my place in the Duchy. He was telling me that if I was going to leave anyway, I should go quickly and build up some “achievements as a Grand Duke.”

Isaac’s face hardened upon hearing that. Having watched over the sickly me for ten years, it was understandable he’d be angry at the suggestion of heading straight to a battlefield. I couldn’t stroke his head in front of the Marquis, so I just patted his knee.

“That’s not bad.”

“I believe it is the best for both His Majesty and Your Highness.”

“Yeah.”

After explaining the winter in the Abbas Mountains, the Marquis left, saying he had work to do. Lamierre also left right after leaving a single letter, saying he had only come to deliver a letter from Headmaster Herenso. I slumped onto the sofa after sending the two of them off.