Too Late to Come Back

The word “choose” didn’t even make sense to begin with. At no point in his life had Seonwoo ever been in a position to “choose” Jeongha. So why had Baek Jeongha deliberately used such words?

The fragmented puzzle pieces in Seonwoo’s mind slowly began to form a picture.

Baek Jeongha’s pride had been hurt. After the person who had hovered around him suddenly disappeared, he had felt an emptiness, a quiet regret. Then, when Ahn Seonwoo unexpectedly announced his marriage to Oh Jaeyeol, it must have been a shock. The man who had given up on him, only to choose someone like Oh Jaeyeol—perhaps he had even felt humiliated. And he must have thought of a way to make Ahn Seonwoo look back at him, a way to make him feel the bone-deep regret of his wrong choice.

That was why he was using Seo Haeyoon. Baek Jeongha was.

The fact that even Baek Jeongha would resort to such means to win him filled Ahn Seonwoo with indescribable passion. Once his thoughts reached that point, the humiliation he had received from Haeyoon at the studio no longer felt like an insult.

Imagining the foolish Seo Haeyoon, probably deluding himself into thinking Baek Jeongha actually loved him, his spirits lifted as if they had never hit rock bottom. What kind of expression would Seo Haeyoon make when he later found out the truth? He certainly wouldn’t be able to speak so arrogantly then.

“See, Oh Jaeyeol. You’re not in a position to act like this with me.”

Seonwoo, his face flushed with drink, glared at the front door, which still showed no sign of life. Now that the wedding was over, Jaeyeol was probably trying to treat him like a fish already caught. Not a chance.

Scoffing, Seonwoo refilled his empty glass. Oh Jaeyeol was merely a second choice. Ahn Seonwoo’s dream had always been Baek Jeongha.

* * * *

“Hoo….”

How much time had passed? Haeyoon, who had been wielding his brush as if pouring his soul into the massive canvas, stopped and let out a long sigh. It was almost two in the morning.

After parting with Jeongha leisurely following their dinner, Haeyoon hadn’t gone straight home but returned to the studio. He had to get something out before the fleeting inspiration he had grasped today faded.

“It’s been a while.”

Haeyoon’s voice, as he gazed at the canvas now taking on color, was filled with satisfaction. It had been a very long time since he had painted with such intense focus.

His eyes carefully examined the large canvas. The newly started work was only at the foundational stage, but in Haeyoon’s eyes, he could already see the finished piece.

A deep, fathomless sea, or perhaps an infinite universe. For some, it might be a breathtakingly beautiful sight, but for others, it might be an image of fear and pain.

Haeyoon had known days like that too. Moments when he was trapped in an inescapable darkness, writhing in agony. Haeyoon wanted to first recreate that vast darkness here. Because without darkness, light could not shine so brilliantly.

Just then, his phone vibrated, shattering his deepening thoughts. He usually turned his phone off when focusing on work, but today he had rushed in and started painting so frantically he hadn’t thought about it.

A smile had already formed on Haeyoon’s lips as he pulled his phone from the coat he had discarded carelessly on the sofa. He had a hunch who it was. Lately, the only person contacting him at this hour was Baek Jeongha.

“Ah….”

But the sender of the message he checked wasn’t Baek Jeongha. Haeyoon’s expression hardened instantly.

[Haeyoon.. are you asleep?]

The sender of this cliché two-in-the-morning message was Seo Haeyoon’s ex-lover, Oh Jaeyeol.

* * * *

“So now you’re not even answering, Seo Haeyoon….”

Jaeyeol sat slumped at a plastic table in a pojangmacha, chin propped up, muttering. Two empty bottles of soju sat on the table, which he had finished alone.

Filling his glass to the brim again, his gaze kept drifting to his silent phone. He’d checked several times to see if it had died or broken, but the phone was fine.

“Not answering calls either….”

The neat and tidy image of his former self was nowhere to be seen in Jaeyeol’s drunken muttering. His daily life had been crumbling since the wedding.

He had stormed out during dinner, but there hadn’t been a single call from Ahn Seonwoo. He didn’t care. The contact he was waiting for wasn’t from Seonwoo anyway.

Leaving the house, he had driven aimlessly. He didn’t have a destination in mind, but when he came to his senses, he was near Haeyoon’s place. This neighborhood was familiar to Jaeyeol; he could find his way even driving mindlessly.

He wanted to go straight to Haeyoon’s house. He wasn’t sure of the reason himself. Was it to check if Haeyoon had been harmed after what Seonwoo had said about visiting him? Or was it to demand how he could start dating another Alpha, and Baek Jeongha of all people, right after breaking up with him? Or maybe he just, just… missed seeing Seo Haeyoon, who always looked at him with warm eyes and warmth.

Lacking the courage to delve deeper into his own heart, Jaeyeol had taken a seat at this pojangmacha near Haeyoon’s house instead of going to his place. It was a route Haeyoon often took.

He had drunk hurriedly, wanting to escape his tangled thoughts. As he got drunk, the recent fights with Seonwoo quickly faded from his mind.

But it was strange. Thoughts of Seonwoo, who should be the most important person to him now, disappeared so easily, while thoughts of Seo Haeyoon became clearer the more he drank.

He had been the one to tell Seonwoo it was an unhealthy obsession, to stop worrying about Seo Haeyoon, yet here he was, drinking and thinking about Haeyoon the entire time.

Was it because married life wasn’t what he’d imagined? Despite exchanging rings and vows, there had been nothing but irritation and arguments between Jaeyeol and Seonwoo since the wedding.

Would it have been different if he had married Seo Haeyoon? He knew he shouldn’t think like that, but he couldn’t stop the meaningless hypotheticals from surfacing. Losing a friend, taking a hit to his reputation, and yet constantly raising his voice at his spouse, who should be his partner—it was exhausting.

So Jaeyeol had impulsively contacted Haeyoon. When he didn’t answer, he sent a message. He knew it was a mistake, but strangely, he felt relieved. He just wanted to hear his voice. Anything would be fine. He just, just wanted to have something to do with Seo Haeyoon.

“There’s no way he doesn’t still have feelings for me, Seo Haeyoon… that doesn’t make sense.”

Jaeyeol sloshed half the drink as he downed another glass, shaking his head. Someone might call him shameless, but he didn’t care. Jaeyeol knew Haeyoon well. Even if Seo Haeyoon was seeing Baek Jeongha, it wasn’t because his love for him was completely gone.

No, maybe it was because his lingering love was too strong. Because it was so painful, because it was so agonizing to just watch the person he still loved marry another man, he was desperately trying to forget him with another Alpha.

The alcohol made his vision spin. As the world turned, Jaeyeol’s futile thoughts took root and grew in his heart. After fumbling a few times, he grabbed his phone and typed out a message.

[If you see this, contact me, Haeyoon]

It wasn’t that he still had feelings for Haeyoon. Jaeyeol had grown tired of Seo Haeyoon a long time ago. It was just that he felt a little sorry for him. Because he felt a bit of pity for Seo Haeyoon, who was seeing a scumbag like Baek Jeongha to forget him, and was even getting harassed by Seonwoo because of him.

So he just wanted to meet him, apologize, and take care of him a little. Even though they’d broken up, Oh Jaeyeol and Seo Haeyoon weren’t the kind of relationship that could be severed so easily. At least, that’s what Oh Jaeyeol thought.

* * * *

“Is this guy insane or what?”

Jeongha had stared at the phone screen Haeyoon handed him for a long while before speaking, incredulous. No matter how many times he reread it, it didn’t change. It was Oh Jaeyeol who had sent Haeyoon these pathetic messages, asking if he was asleep, asking to be contacted.

“So that’s why you looked so pale. You couldn’t sleep because of this bastard.”

Jeongha looked at Haeyoon with pity as he spoke, finally tearing his eyes from the phone. Haeyoon had lost even more weight since his severe bout of illness. His condition already seemed precarious, which had been worrying, but today he looked like he might collapse at any moment, which had been alarming. And now to find out it was because of none other than Oh Jaeyeol.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t known the guy was trash, but he hadn’t expected him to sink lower than his already low opinion of him. No matter what, if he had any shame at all, how could he contact Haeyoon like this?

“So… did you contact him?”

Jeongha asked. As he waited for the answer, he felt inexplicably nervous and gulped down his coffee. Haeyoon shook his head.

“There’s nothing more to say to Oh Jaeyeol. Why would I?”

Haeyoon’s voice was far calmer than expected, and Jeongha felt a deep sense of relief. He didn’t know why it was such a relief to hear that Haeyoon hadn’t contacted Jaeyeol.