Because I Was Afraid You’d Disappear

Haejin blinked his eyes, struggling to focus, and groggily came to his senses.

His body still felt heavy, as if soaked in cotton, and his head was thick, symptoms of lingering intoxication.

But as he lay still, just blinking, his mind gradually cleared.

The ceiling in his view was familiar.

The room he lost consciousness in had been a dark, damp place where Jeong-yeon had taken him, but the ceiling he saw now was the same as the one in the house Beomwoo had arranged for him.

Had he come home? How?

He had no idea what had happened in between, but it seemed he hadn’t suffered anything terrible at Jeong-yeon’s hands.

And that last sight of Beomwoo… was it not a dream?

Was it real, not just seeing what he wanted in a dream?

It seemed certain he had escaped that place unharmed, but was Beomwoo really the one who saved him?

It was hard to be sure.

As he was gradually regaining his senses, he felt the presence of someone approaching nearby.

He knew he had left the club, but he couldn’t be certain who had extracted him and brought him back, as he had been so out of it.

Haejin tensed up, unconsciously clutching the blanket tightly, when a familiar voice came from close by.

“Are you coming around?”

“……”

Turning his head toward the gentle voice, he saw Beomwoo standing by the bedside, looking at him.

The gaze looking down at him from the bedside was similar to the face he saw before losing consciousness, but held a hint of relief.

Beomwoo scanned Haejin’s face with a serious expression, then, as if remembering belatedly, picked up a cup from the bedside table, poured water, and handed it to him.

“Drink some water.”

“Th-Thank you… cough.”

He tried to speak, but his voice was terribly hoarse and raspy, making it hard to form words.

The sound was so unsightly he couldn’t continue.

Haejin stopped speaking and accepted the offered water to drink.

He started drinking because of his parched throat, but perhaps his insides were burning; he emptied the cup in one go.

His burning throat settled and his hoarseness improved, but they both fell silent.

Haejin didn’t know the situation and was unsure what to say first.

Beomwoo just watched him with a thoughtful expression.

They hadn’t fought, nor had anything happened between them, yet the atmosphere was overwhelmingly solemn.

The mood felt uncomfortable, and ever since realizing Beomwoo’s presence wasn’t a dream but reality, Haejin knew he had something to say to him.

He cautiously drew a breath.

“Thank you……”

“……”

“If it weren’t for you, Beomwoo… I could have been in real trouble.”

It was the first thing he needed to say.

At the club, even though it seemed like he was being forcibly taken away, no one paid attention and they even laughed.

There was no one to help, and he was in a powerless situation, unable to use any strength.

He thought he would just have to endure it; he never expected anyone to come to his rescue.

And that person being Beomwoo was even more unexpected.

As Haejin expressed his sincere gratitude, Beomwoo firmly pressed his lips together before replying quietly.

“…It’s nothing.”

Even though he had saved him in an urgent situation, Beomwoo shook his head as if he wasn’t someone who deserved thanks.

To anyone, it was a situation where gratitude was due, but given the gravity of what had almost happened, he seemed reluctant to readily accept the thanks.

Silence flowed again.

Normally, Haejin would have lightened the mood with trivial talk, but even though he was more composed than before, his body felt heavy and unwell…

And after going through such a scary situation, he wasn’t in the mood for that.

So he stayed quiet for a while.

As he mulled over the earlier events, a sudden thought struck him.

This wasn’t about finding fault with his savior, but how could Beomwoo, who wasn’t contacted and wasn’t even there, suddenly know about the situation and come to help?

It seemed unlikely Beomwoo would frequent such a place for it to be a coincidence.

“But… how did you know to come? I wouldn’t think you’d go to a place like that……”

“……”

Haejin asked, but Beomwoo didn’t answer.

Was it a difficult question?

But he didn’t think he asked anything strange; it was a natural thing to wonder about.

As Haejin looked at Beomwoo, puzzled by his lack of response, Beomwoo let out a small sigh and reluctantly opened his mouth as if confessing.

“I came to return the clothes.”

“The clothes…?”

Wondering what he meant, Haejin’s eyes fell on some neatly folded clothes on one side of the bed.

They were the clothes he had lent Beomwoo on the day of their date, when his own got soaked in the rain.

As Haejin stared at the folded clothes, Beomwoo spoke again.

“But I couldn’t reach you, Haejin. I knew I could give them back another time… but I remembered you had a date with Jeong-yeon today.”

At his words, Haejin recalled mentioning a few days ago that he was meeting Jeong-yeon today.

He didn’t report every piece of news, but he had been keeping in occasional contact with Beomwoo.

Sometimes Beomwoo would check on his meals; today, when he said he was coming over, Haejin had refused, saying he was meeting Jeong-yeon for dinner.

He seemed to have remembered that.

As Haejin recalled that conversation, Beomwoo continued in a subdued, heavy voice.

“At first, I thought I’d bring them another time, contact you later. But…”

“……”

“I was worried.”

Beomwoo continued, lowering his gaze as if making a confession, then looked at Haejin as he uttered the last words.

His eyes still reflected concern, but it was different from the look when he was checking on his condition earlier.

It seemed less about worrying that something might happen to him like today, and more that it bothered him that Haejin was going to meet someone else.

Beomwoo looked like he had more to say on the matter, but he swallowed his words, closed his mouth, and continued.

“I know I shouldn’t do this… but while trying to find out where you were, the meeting place seemed suspicious, so I came to check, and that’s how things unfolded.”

“Ah……”

Given that the first date location was a club-like place, it made sense to find it strange.

Already feeling concerned, the location itself was enough to make coming to check understandable.

Haejin slowly nodded, but then another question arose.

“But who told you where I was? I’m not a celebrity or famous person.”

If it were his past life, someone might have seen and reported him since they were married, but not in this life.

They weren’t in a special relationship, and it didn’t seem like someone from the club reported it…

Everyone there seemed to be on Jeong-yeon’s side; there probably wasn’t such a good Samaritan.

As Haejin voiced his doubt, an awkward look crossed Beomwoo’s face.

It was the same expression he had when he hesitated to speak earlier.

He seemed to find it difficult to answer ‘how he knew.’

What on earth could it be?

Whatever the reason, in that urgent situation, it didn’t seem like he could say much to the person who saved him.

Even now, he felt he could accept any reason with a simple ‘I see.’

With a generous heart, Haejin waited for the rest from Beomwoo, who reluctantly opened his mouth.

“Actually… I had someone following you, Haejin.”

“……Huh?”

What? Someone?

It was a method Haejin had never considered, so he froze instantly, forgetting he was about to say it was okay.

He wanted to think it meant something else, but no matter how he thought about it, it only pointed to one thing: Beomwoo had put a tail on him.

Haejin was considerably taken aback, but given that it was thanks to that surveillance that he was rescued, he couldn’t get angry.

Still, some things remained unclear.

Haejin tried to compose his expression and asked as calmly as possible.

“You had someone following me? Why, why would you…?”

“……”

Haejin tried to erase any sign of being upset or shocked and asked, but Beomwoo again couldn’t answer immediately.

He seemed to have already said the shocking part; was there more?

As Haejin waited anxiously, Beomwoo bowed his head as if confessing and answered.

“Because I thought you might disappear.”

“Excuse me…?”

Thought I might disappear?

What does that mean?