I Only Have 6 Months Left… So I’m Leaving Him

“It’s not that I’m embarrassed….”

“Where your heart goes and what makes it beat aren’t things you can control. You don’t have to deny it so hard.”

Because everything Harold said was true, Eren had no choice but to fall silent.
Embarrassed that he couldn’t even hide his own feelings, and ashamed that someone like him dared to harbor feelings for Kazen, Eren bowed his head deeply.

“…I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize either. You have no reason to be sorry. I know well what it’s like to hold a secret you can’t easily confess to others.”

Harold quietly reached out and placed his hand lightly on Eren’s knee.
Looking at his large palm, Eren’s nose stung, and he bit his lip hard.

That secret was probably that he and Kazen were in love with each other.

Harold was simply too gentle by nature to coldly warn Eren the way Kazen did.
There was already no room for Eren to enter between the two of them.

“But don’t you sometimes want to tell everything, just as it is? Because feelings like that are too burdensome to keep locked inside.”

Eren bit the tender flesh inside his cheek.
Harold had no reason to harbor such feelings himself, so he was clearly testing Eren.
He had no intention of confessing his feelings for Kazen, but he also didn’t want to trouble Harold over this.

Harold was a good person who had been kind and gentle even to someone insignificant like him.
He wanted to clear up the misunderstanding by telling him the truth.
It felt like the final courtesy he could offer Harold, who had shown him kindness.

“The truth is, I only have six months left to live.”

It was difficult to bring up, but once he said it out loud, it felt refreshing, as if a hole had opened in his chest.

“What do you mean?”

Now it was Harold’s turn for his eyes to widen.
It was the first time he had seen Harold look so shocked.

“No, perhaps I only have about three months left.”

He had used quite a bit of mana recently recharging the mage-stones, so even Eren couldn’t be sure how much time remained.

“Surely, you heard this when you saw Doctor Rosalin? Have you contracted some serious illness?”

At Harold’s guess, Eren quietly nodded.
Harold seemed quite shocked, staring blankly at Eren with unfocused eyes.

“So I won’t be troubling you anymore, Mr. Harold. I was already thinking of leaving the Ducal residence anyway.”

He was still thinking it over, but after talking with Harold, his heart was leaning toward leaving.

“…I see.”

He had said it to reassure Harold, but somehow Harold’s face seemed tinged with dejection and disappointment.
He had thought Harold would be glad to see him leave Kazen’s side.
Whatever he was thinking, Harold looked deeply troubled.

“What can I do for you? Anything at all. Just tell me.”

Now that he was leaving, there was only one thing Eren could ask of Harold.

“Please take care of His Grace. And… I hope His Grace never finds out about this.”

After a brief silence, Harold nodded quietly.

“…I see. I have no intention of telling anyone, so don’t worry.”

Eren didn’t think Harold was the type to go around spreading others’ secrets either.
That was why he had trusted him enough to speak.

“Well then, I should be going now. They’ll all be looking for me.”

Whether it was true that he had to go back soon, Harold hurriedly rose from his seat.
He looked somewhat flustered, as if he had pressing matters to attend to.

“Ah, yes. I should be going back too, so we can leave together.”

Eren no longer had time to linger either, so he gathered himself and stood up.
Harold hesitated as if he had something more to say, then gave a faint smile.

“Then, shall we say goodbye?”

Harold looked at Eren and opened his arms wide.
Unable to understand the gesture, Eren just stood there with his eyes wide open.

“Would a handshake be less burdensome than a hug?”

“Ah, no.”

Realizing his intention belatedly, Eren awkwardly stepped into his embrace.
A faint floral scent emanated from him, and Eren nearly sniffed involuntarily.

“Let’s talk longer next time, when you have the time.”

Harold patted Eren’s back very briefly and then pulled away.
Feeling awkward and strangely emotional for no reason, Eren bowed his head deeply.

“…Yes, Mr. Harold. I hope we can talk again sometime.”

* * *

After parting with Harold, Eren left the cafe at a leisurely pace.
The road back to the Ducal residence felt exceptionally long today.
He had thought walking would help sort out his thoughts, but by the time he arrived home, his mind was in even worse disarray.

“Just getting back? You’re late today.”

As he passed through the garden toward the entrance, he happened to run into Millie coming out the door.
Millie was a live-out maid who finished work in the afternoon and came in early in the morning.
So she was probably on her way home.

“Heading home for the day, are you? Has His Grace not returned yet?”

“No, and Mrs. Bennet said he probably won’t be having dinner either, so she told us all to go home early. Oh, I put Mr. Eren’s dinner in your bedroom, so please make sure to eat it. His Grace said he’d be angry if you skipped.”

“Alright. Thank you for always taking care of me.”

“No need to thank me. Compared to what you’ve done for me, this is nothing.”

At Millie’s words of gratitude, Eren furrowed his brow.
He didn’t particularly remember taking care of Millie, since no one besides Kazen had ever paid him any attention.

“What have I ever done for you, Millie?”

“You don’t remember? When my mother was sick, you gave me a long paid leave to care for her, and when my brother needed to go to school, you made sure I got a bonus.”

“Did I…?”

In truth, he hadn’t done those things with any particular intention of being considerate toward her, so he didn’t even remember.

“More importantly, your complexion has been terrible lately, Mr. Eren. I know you’re an important person this mansion can’t do without, but you need to prioritize your health.”

Millie stepped closer to Eren and took something out of her pocket.

“Would you accept this? It’s nothing special, but I used to hold this talisman and pray for my mother’s recovery. Thanks to it, she’s healthy now.”

“You’re giving this to me?”

The fact that even one person in this world genuinely worried about him moved Eren quite deeply.

“Yes. There’s not much I can do for you, Mr. Eren, but I still want to help. Please give it back when you’re well.”

Eren cautiously reached out and took the talisman she offered.
It fit snugly in his palm, looking like a necklace or perhaps a long bracelet.

“Thank you. I’ll treasure it.”

“Alright then, I’ll be going now. See you tomorrow!”

After seeing Millie off, Eren returned to his room and first ate the dinner she had left for him.
Then he headed to the bathroom.

He wasn’t particularly happy that Kazen had given him this room, but there was one good thing about it.
Since it had been the Duchess’s room, it had its own private bathroom.

‘His Grace isn’t here tonight, so shall I take a nice, long bath?’

Eren filled the tub with warm water and soaked his body.
He had many things to do, but having decided to leave, he no longer felt like concerning himself with the mansion’s problems.

He still wasn’t sure if he could truly leave Kazen.
But soon, he would have to prepare to leave him, one way or another.

Fidgeting with the talisman Millie had given him, he soaked in the warm water for a long while.
Then, noticing how dark it had become outside, he finally rose.

“Still, I should do some work.”

Now out of habit, he let out a long sigh and reluctantly sat down at his desk.
It was already nearing 8 p.m., but Kazen still hadn’t returned.
As far as Eren remembered, there was no particular schedule after the Imperial Palace luncheon.
Perhaps he was still with Harold.

‘No, don’t think about it.’

Harold’s face kept surfacing in his mind, so he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.
He regretted having shared his secret, and he worried Harold might repeat it to Kazen.

He had confessed the truth because he thought Harold wasn’t the type to speak carelessly, but having been betrayed recently by someone he’d thought was close to him, trusting people was not easy.

“Haah. I can’t concentrate at all.”

His eyes traced the ink soaking into the paper, but not a single word properly entered his mind.
It had been a long time since he’d been this unfocused.

Then a drop of red blood splattered onto his desk, and he hastily covered his nose.
At first it had come sparsely, but now his nose bled several times a day.
He was beyond used to it; he was sick of it.

“At least I didn’t get it on my clothes….”

Muttering to himself, he was rinsing off at the washbasin when he heard faint footsteps from the corridor.

Few people wandered this floor at this hour.
In fact, he could already tell it was Kazen just by the stride.
He thought Kazen would go straight to his bedroom, but for some reason, the footsteps stopped in front of Eren’s door.

Startled, he turned to look at the door just as it swung open without a knock.

“Why is your room so dark? Were you sleeping?”

Kazen walked in casually, tossing his outerwear carelessly onto the floor as he spoke.

“Your Grace, you’re back?”

Eren walked toward him, then stopped, instinctively picking up and folding his clothes.

“Never mind that. Come here.”

Kazen sat heavily on the bed and reached out a hand toward Eren.
From his slightly flushed tone, the red tips of his ears, and above all, the strong scent wafting from him, Eren could tell.

“…Are you drunk?”