The Goddess’s Confession

As if.

As a veteran player of bishōjo romance games, I knew this was a death-flagged option, didn’t I?

With our affection levels far from maxed, a sudden confession event was undeniably abnormal. This abrupt confession, with its illogically placed timing, demanded careful consideration.

First, I decided to employ my usual strategy: analyze the specific problem at hand.

Our current dynamic, Bai An An’s and mine, was that of best friends. While a hint of ambiguity might exist between close friends, such a bond could never escalate to love. Therefore, her “liking” me could only mean she held a certain platonic fondness.

Secondly, she had endured a truly terrible relationship in the past. Psychologically speaking, individuals with emotional trauma often crave and fear intimacy in romance, typically manifesting as either dependence or avoidance. Such people might also severely suppress their inner feelings, often displaying a low, self-deprecating, and apologetic demeanor toward their partners.

The more I analyzed, the more it felt like I was dissecting my own personality.

Bai An An appeared modest on the surface, yet her true self was confident and proud—a favored daughter of heaven who never concealed her genuine nature. If she had doubts, she would openly and directly ask. Perhaps her memory displacement merely brought her uncertainty, prompting her to seek answers from me.

Ultimately, after eliminating all impossibilities, whatever remained, no matter how incredible, had to be the truth!

The Goddess truly liked me!

…What was wrong with me right now?

I was instantly flustered.

Ling Jiu, where was your vaunted rationality? What kind of sweet dreams were you indulging in? Was it a total delusion, or had you become too arrogant? Didn’t you look in the mirror? What about you was worthy of the Goddess’s affection…

…Hold on, I am a beautiful girl now, aren’t I?

Forget it, let me try a different example. Ling Jiu, do you truly believe that a gloomy, ill-tempered shut-in like you could ever be liked by a perfect Goddess? Daydreaming has its limits; one must never lose touch with reality!

After much deliberation, I replied, “This isn’t like you, asking me such a question. Of course, I’d be delighted to accept, because I like you too.”

“Mm.”

Bai An An’s cheeks instantly flushed crimson. She bowed her head, her shy and joyful demeanor like a girl in the throes of first love. It made me realize something was amiss.

Wasn’t that just a joke? She couldn’t be serious, could she?

Cold sweat trickled down my back as I cautiously asked, “You mean like friends, right?”

She looked somewhat puzzled. “What else would I mean?”

“Nothing.”

I was merely scared to death.

Bai An An clutched her chest, letting out a sigh of relief. “I don’t know why, but when I discovered you hadn’t gone to school, I suddenly felt a surge of anxiety, as if I had lost something, and my heart felt empty. Unconsciously, I had grown accustomed to your presence, but when you suddenly vanished, I realized how utterly helpless I was.”

“However, when I came to find you today and saw you safe and sound, my heart settled. That feeling was wonderful, incredibly fulfilling. This sensation… I only experience it when you are by my side. I worry that this somewhat twisted emotion might frighten you. I have a premonition that you will gradually drift away, and one day, you will disappear entirely.”

Listening to her description, it sounded as if I were a scoundrel well-versed in PUA tactics, having already cultivated a deep dependency in the Goddess.

And…

If I were currently male, I would undoubtedly delude myself into believing the Goddess had fallen for me. However, given my current female form, this situation was worth pondering. Could it be that my inability to capture the Goddess’s heart previously was simply because I was a man? And now, as a woman, the Goddess would hold nothing back from me?

This implied that the Goddess simply disliked me as a male.

I had heard before that women are naturally bisexual, and it seemed there might be some truth to it.

…Why did I suddenly feel so sorrowful?

For the first time, I had someone I liked, and also gained a lifelong best friend. Two joys intertwined, and this double joy brought even more joy. I should have been experiencing a dreamlike happiness…

Yet, why had it come to this?

Yuri, it’s terrifying! My innocent self cannot accept this reality! I absolutely refuse to acknowledge that the Goddess is into yuri! Never! Otherwise, wouldn’t all my years of being a simp have been a futile joke? Was my masculine charm truly inferior to my feminine charm? If I were to deny the past with the present, it would only prove my current failure!

My face darkened as I said, in a low voice, “Hey, An An, we’re pure, good best friends, right?”

“Ling Jiu, your expression is terrifying. What’s wrong?”

“We are ‘pure,’ good best friends, right?”

She nodded. “Of course. I don’t have many friends; only you have stayed by my side. I’m very grateful, Ling Jiu, that you always take care of me, even when I sometimes act like a child.”

“Actually, you’re the one who takes care of me.”

I immediately put on a sweet smile. The people have faith, the nation has hope, but yuri on the fast lane? Don’t even think about it!

Comrades, if there truly were girls in reality who threw themselves at you, would you refuse them? I dare say that every comrade in the audience would find it difficult to refuse. In an era where men are reduced to ATM machines, if a girl is willing to pursue you, you’d be moved even if she were Queen Qiaobiluo!

So, let me rephrase: if your male best friend were to throw himself at you, could you accept it? No, you couldn’t! Don’t talk to me about cross-dressing bigshots! That’s your best friend; could you actually go through with it?

Look at how pure and beautiful my icy Goddess is, like a flower on a high peak. Could I harbor impure thoughts towards her? To defile my Goddess would be to defile myself!

…No, my own thoughts are already as black as coal. Comparing myself to the Goddess, isn’t that just slandering her?

In any case, I had to say, if the Goddess were to stray, I couldn’t just stand by. I was striving to return to being male; if the Goddess, a straight woman, were to “bend” for me, how could I ever marry her and reach the pinnacle of life?

Most importantly, the Goddess’s memories had been tampered with. If this was the reason she harbored certain feelings for me, then I could not accept it. What was the difference between this and those “hypnosis app” novels?

Girls falling for you so easily? If the Goddess were no longer the independent spirit I admired, but instead a puppet altered by a deity, then I would unequivocally reject her inauthentic affection.

Becoming a scoundrel, building a harem, having beauties in my arms—the thought alone was enough. If I truly possessed such a brainwashing aura, I’d rather be killed.

The reason I was Ling Jiu, and not a stereotypical character, was simply because I enjoyed thinking. So-called love was merely a gradually built sense of dependence. Now, having become a girl, my male physiological urges had vanished, leaving only pure feelings.

Whether it was so-called romance or yuri, did it even matter anymore? To be with the Goddess, such happiness didn’t require any special title.

I clasped Bai An An’s slightly nervous and uneasy hand, and with an inexpressible emotion, solemnly declared, “Don’t worry, we’ll always be the best of friends. I’ll always be by your side.”