The Scientific Method of Finding a Path

“So we’ve wasted nearly half a day again… haven’t we?”

“Exactly.” Helter nodded. “It’s only because they can’t agree.”

“What? What do you mean by blaming us! I offered the correct insight! Break the mold! Stop taking detours! I don’t understand why you keep turning right!” Aironi muttered under his breath.

“Hero-sister, in that case, I suppose I’ve also broken tradition. Going straight was clearly an option.”

‘Hmm…’

‘I am the Hero. What exactly happened while I was catching up on sleep? How can they argue even about finding a path?’

“Wait, wait, wait!” I interjected, cutting off their bickering. “If we keep arguing, we’ll be stuck at this three-way intersection forever. We need to use a more scientific method.”

The three of them paused, startled. “Scientific?”

“Exactly! Rather than squabbling, let’s be more scientific.”

With that, I picked up a branch from the ground.

“Now, I’ll toss this branch into the air, and whichever direction it points when it lands, that’s the way we’ll go!” ‘How scientific…’

“Oh, that makes a lot of sense,” Helter said, looking quite convinced. ‘Is he serious?!’

“What kind of science is that?” Aironi’s jaw dropped wide open. ‘At least this guy gets it.’

“Well, there’s a science called probability, isn’t there? So, yes, it’s very scientific.” ‘What even is probability? I’m not entirely sure myself…’

“Ohh,” the three of them murmured, their faces showing dawning realization. “As expected of the Hero!” ‘Hey! How did they all suddenly agree?!’

“Alright then! Fly, branch of destiny!”

Shouting the resounding slogan, I drew the branch back, then hurled it high into the air with all my might.

“Oh! It really flew!” The three of them gazed upwards.

“Fall now! Tell us the way!”

The branch slowed under the influence of gravity, then accelerated its descent! This was it! Let this unnecessary dispute end!

“It’s about to land!” The three of them stared intently at the fading blur of the falling branch.

In that moment, watching the falling branch and the excited trio, I felt the joy of an impending solution. Perhaps life was truly like this: a seemingly difficult problem could become easily solvable, driven by some small excuse.

Swoosh. The moment to decide our adventure’s direction… Eh?

The branch had firmly embedded itself into the body of Mother Earth…

“It’s stuck in the ground,” Naya murmured softly.

“Indeed, it’s stuck in the ground.” Helter cast a bewildered glance my way.

“So… science is guiding us to stay right where we are?” Aironi asked.

“How could that be!” I rushed forward and yanked the branch from the ground. “The probability of that happening is way too low!” I looked at them. “What do we do now?”

“Stare—” The three of them simply stood there, gaping at me blankly.

“Don’t just stare at me! Let’s try again! One more time!”

I spun around in place, then threw the branch into the sky once more. “Fly, branch of destiny!”

“Oh,” they murmured, “it’s flying again.”

‘Please, give me a break. Don’t let some low-probability event happen… What even is a low-probability event? What am I talking about?’

Whoosh.

Eh…

The branch, once launched, never came back down…

“It’s stuck in the tree,” Naya said, pointing adorably at a tree trunk.

“Indeed, it’s stuck in the tree.” Helter eyed me with disdain.

“So… science is guiding us to be stuck right where we are?”

“How can this be!” ‘Is my luck really this bad lately?’

“What do we do next?” the three of them asked in unison.

“One more time! This time, no branches, let’s throw something else! Helter! You pick!” Without hesitation, I handed the heavy responsibility to Helter, who was burdened with an enormous pack.

“Me? Why?”

“You have a lot of stuff on you. Just pick something and throw it!”

“Oh.” Helter set down his backpack, then promptly drew the greatsword from his back. “I’m going to throw it now.”

“No, no! Find something smaller!” I quickly interjected to stop him.

“Oh, let me see.” Helter rummaged through his luggage. “How about a dagger coated in deadly poison?”

“Pick something that isn’t dangerous!”

“Hmm… the Hero’s helmet?”

“How can something nearly spherical point us in a direction!”

After a moment of deliberation, unable to find any suitable stick-like objects… we resorted to…

Crimson Aironi… Yes, Crimson Aironi. And we stipulated that the direction his feet pointed when he fell would be our path forward.

“Are you kidding me! Is there nothing else?! Why don’t you throw yourselves?!” Aironi exclaimed, looking utterly bewildered as Helter lifted him.

“Oh dear, Naya and I are women, you see. You’ll just have to make a small sacrifice. Dedicate yourself to science!” ‘How can you be so shameless!’

“That’s right! Dedicate yourself to science!” Helter bellowed, then whoosh, swish.

“Oh,” I exclaimed, “he’s flying.” Now it was Naya and my turn to marvel.

“Waaahhhhh!!!” ‘Please disregard Aironi’s screams.’

Thud.

We were finally about to emerge from this convoluted path-finding… Eh?

“It’s pointing… in the direction we came from.”

“Indeed, it’s pointing back the way we came.”

“So… science is guiding us to return the way we came…”

“Ah… is science actually unreliable?” I stroked my chin.

‘Emmmm…’

“Hey! My Lady Hero,” Aironi said, scrambling up from the ground. “I think we should make someone spin around in circles, desperately spin until they pass out, and the direction their head points will be our way forward! What do you think?”

Suddenly, in that moment, I felt as if the clouds had parted to reveal a rainbow! “Are you a genius! That’s quick, convenient, and suitable for multiple experiments!”

“Then let’s try it quickly!” Before Aironi had even finished speaking, Helter stepped in front of him.

“Wait! What are you doing!”

Helter slapped Aironi across his right cheek, and Aironi immediately began to spin like a top!

“Oh—he’s spinning!” ‘Are you guys idiots?!’

The result…

“Ugh—ugh—” After spinning, Aironi didn’t fall to the ground; instead, he promptly vomited in place.

“It seems this method won’t work either…” I sank into distress.

“Why don’t we just buy a compass, spin the needle, and go wherever it points?”

“Are you stupid, Helter? If we could buy a compass, what would we still be doing here?”

Helter tilted his head. “Hmm? I didn’t say anything.”

“Fifty silver coins each, how about it?”

I looked to my left. Eh? The Driver!

“Why is it you again!”

“At least call me ‘Uncle,’ you’re so impolite. I’m only giving you a discount because you’re a fan of my stories, you know. A compass originally costs 500 silver.” The Driver said, leading his horse towards me.

“How did you arrive without making a sound! And where’s your carriage?”

“The carriage was rented; I just returned it.” The Driver rummaged through the bag on his horse’s back, pulling out a compass that only had a needle. “Here, it’s very cheap.”

“Ah… we shouldn’t spend money recklessly.”

“Then why were you wasting half an hour playing such a boring game of chance?” The Driver looked at us with a hint of disdain.

“You only got bored after watching for half an hour, didn’t you!”

“Patience is the core of an assassin’s profession. But this truly was a waste of time… After all that, you’re not buying it. Disappointing. I’m leaving…”

‘Don’t talk to me about the core of an assassin’s profession! You’re just a greedy merchant!’

“Um, Uncle,” Naya called out, stopping the Driver.

“What is it, little one? Do you want to buy a toy?” The Driver grinned, looking at her.

“Where did you rent your carriage?”

“Hmm?” The Driver looked puzzled. “At the three-way intersection, right here. Then turn left and go straight; there’s a small town over there.”

“A town!!!” The four of us exclaimed, our faces filled with astonishment!

“Yes, why? Didn’t you know?”

“Thank you!” I immediately bowed in gratitude.

“You’re welcome. That’ll be one gold coin for directions.” ‘Such are the professional ethics of a greedy merchant…’

And so, after being lost for two days, the Hero finally found their next destination.

“It seems the truly scientific method is to pay someone for directions, after all…” Aironi mumbled, tracing a newly acquired bruise.

‘What’s the point of saying that now!’