You Smell Like Another Man… And I Hate It

“What does that have to do with anything? Just come here, already.”

Kazen roughly loosened his tie and tossed it beside the bed, commanding him.
Eren hesitated, wanting to pick up the fallen tie, but then obediently stepped forward and stood before him.

“Earlier, while we were watching a play, Harold suddenly left and came back. Then he said let’s have a drink, so I did, but he was guzzling it down like a madman. The man was an absolute drunkard.”

Kazen wrapped his arm around Eren’s waist, pressed his forehead against Eren’s flat stomach, and mumbled in slurred speech.
Eren, with his hand lightly placed on Kazen’s shoulder, furrowed his brow.

“His Highness did? I thought His Highness didn’t care for alcohol.”

“Exactly. He was so out of it, like he’d lost his mind, drinking as if he was about to guzzle an entire barrel of wine. He’s a royal, used to hiding his emotions, but I’ve never seen him like that before.”

Surely Harold wasn’t that shocked after hearing what I told him?

When they had spoken at the cafe earlier, Harold hadn’t shown much emotional reaction.
And Harold had no reason to be shocked by such news.
Eren was certain he wasn’t influential enough to sway Harold’s mood.

“Shall I prepare your bath water?”

Eren asked, assuming Kazen would want to wash since he’d just arrived.

“Hmm, no.”

But Kazen, as if throwing a tantrum, rubbed his head against Eren’s solar plexus.
Looking down at the top of his head, Eren tilted his own.

“Then are you going to sleep like this?”

“Mm.”

No matter how drunk he was, it was the first time Eren had seen him go to sleep without washing.
He must have been tired from going to the Imperial Palace in the morning.

“Then I’ll bring your pajamas.”

Only then did Kazen’s arms, which had been wrapped around Eren’s back, loosen.
Eren immediately went to Kazen’s room to get his pajamas.

‘Surely, he’s not planning to sleep in my room?’

Even as he crossed the corridor and returned to his own bedroom, Eren was bewildered.
When Kazen had moved his room, he had spoken with that nuance, but he hadn’t actually expected them to sleep together.

The first and last time he had lain side by side with Kazen was when they had fallen asleep together in the old, cramped bed.
Come to think of it, the room had been moved after that.

Had he enjoyed sleeping together?
Eren shook his head at the thought.
Kazen had Harold; there was no way he would enjoy sleeping with Eren.

Carrying these complicated thoughts, he returned to his room to find Kazen sitting on the bed with his arms crossed.

“Let me help you change into your pajamas.”

Kazen, who had been staring blankly at the floor, slowly raised his head.
With an expressionless face, he reached out both hands and spoke.

“Undress me.”

Eren placed the pajamas on the bed and slowly knelt before him.
Changing Kazen’s clothes was something he had done often, so it wasn’t difficult.

First, with careful fingers, he unfastened the cufflinks wrapped around Kazen’s wrists.
He neatly placed the pearl cufflinks on the bedside table and began unbuttoning Kazen’s shirt.

All the while, Kazen rested his hands on the bed and gazed down at the top of Eren’s head as he carefully removed his clothes.
His gaze was sharp, as if measuring something.

“You met Harold today, didn’t you?”

At Kazen’s low voice, dropping onto the top of his head, Eren’s hands, which had been moving down past Kazen’s chest, paused.

“Wh-why do you say that all of a sudden?”

“I asked if you met Harold today and spoke with him.”

How did he know?
Had Harold told Kazen that Eren was terminally ill?
Perhaps he had let it slip while drunk.

Eren’s mind instantly became a tangled mess.
If that was the case, he had no idea how Kazen would react, so he stared up at him blankly.

“You reek of Harold’s perfume. You weren’t going to deny it, were you?”

Fortunately, it wasn’t that Harold had told him; Kazen had simply deduced it with his keen sense of smell.
One thing puzzled him, though: how was the perfume scent still lingering?
He had briefly embraced Harold earlier, but he had washed thoroughly since then.

“I only ran into him briefly while I was out in the city earlier. We exchanged a few words, that’s all.”

He had only stated the facts as they were, but Kazen’s expression remained stiff and unyielding.

“You suddenly said you had errands to run, went out, and just happened to run into him?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

Since it was the truth, Eren obediently nodded.

“Then why did Harold, who returned to the Imperial Palace, look like death itself? What did you talk about?”

“That… I don’t know, either.”

Perhaps something had happened on his way back to the palace, or perhaps something unpleasant had occurred there.
Of course, he had confessed his terminal condition to Harold, but there was no way that alone would ruin his mood.

As if displeased with Eren’s answer, Kazen watched him with a scowl.
Eren, unsure whether he should continue undressing him, hesitated with his hands on Kazen’s shirt.
But he froze completely at Kazen’s following taunt.

“Just because Harold has shown you a little interest, if you think you might become important to him, wake up from that dream.”

Eren already knew that.
He didn’t truly care for Harold, but even if the subject were Kazen instead, it wouldn’t change anything.

“…I know that, too.”

“No matter how hard you struggle, you could never even become his lover. No matter what you do, you are of a station that can never stand beside him.”

He had grown accustomed to Kazen’s harsh words, so they no longer hurt him.
What he was curious about was why Kazen thought he liked Harold.

He did think Harold was an exceptionally kind and gentle person, but that was all.
He felt only goodwill toward him, no emotional turmoil whatsoever.
What Eren harbored in his heart was none other than Kazen himself.

“Your Grace, there’s something I need to tell you. I, that is to say, His Highness Harold is not….”

Eren had struggled to bring up the topic, but Kazen cut him off without letting him finish.

“Have you ever relieved your desires thinking about him?”

“The one I harbor feelings for is… wait, what?”

For a moment, Eren was speechless and repeated the question with a blank look.
Innocent as Eren might be, he knew what “relieving desires” referred to.
The problem was why Kazen was asking such a thing.

Was he trying to insult him by pointing out his inexperience?
To prevent him from coveting Harold, even by such means?
There was no need to go to such trouble.
Just how miserable did Kazen need to make him to be satisfied?

“I… I….”

As Eren failed to give a proper answer, merely moving his lips, Kazen curled his mouth into a smile.

“Wasn’t that what you were thinking about when you lay in bed with me before?”

Eren’s dazed mind recalled the day Kazen had first visited his bedroom.
That day, Eren had felt desire for Kazen for the first time.

He had thought Kazen was asleep, so how had he known?

“Y-Your Grace. That was….”

So flustered, his words came out stammering.
Kazen, as if amused, watched him with a crooked smile.
Everywhere his cold gaze touched seemed to burn with heat.

“So you lied when you said you’d never touched yourself thinking of me. You lied because you didn’t want to do what I asked.”

“N-no, that’s not true. I’ve truly never done it. I’ve never even touched myself.”

Without time to think, Eren rushed out excuses, not even aware of what he was saying.

“Then how have you relieved your desires every time you felt them?”

“I just… closed my eyes and waited for it to pass.”

In truth, that day was the first time Eren had ever felt desire, but that was how he had calmed his mind.
Kazen, as if finding Eren’s answer interesting, let out a small exclamation and laughed.

“Then how about this? I’ll teach you how it’s done.”

Having never expected Kazen to make such a proposal, Eren’s mind went completely white.

“W-why would you….”

“I need to verify whether you were lying, don’t I?”

Kazen uncrossed his arms and reached out, flicking Eren’s chin lightly.
When Eren remained silent, he bent down to meet his eyes.

“And besides, you never know. It might come in handy someday. You haven’t forgotten how much I’ve taught you, have you?”

“Yes, I remember everything Your Grace has taught me.”

Kazen had personally taught Eren how to read and write, table manners, horseback riding, and even the most trivial daily habits.

“Do you also remember what you said to me each time?”

“Yes, I said I would do anything to repay the kindness Your Grace has shown me.”

Eren had never once questioned anything while learning so much from Kazen.
Not when correcting his walk and table manners, not when changing his way of speaking and tone, not when learning to hide his emotions.

Everything Kazen bestowed upon him was truth, was law, that Eren must follow.
So if he thought of this as merely another of Kazen’s lessons, he could certainly do it.

“Then you know what to do now, don’t you?”

Kazen unfolded his crossed legs, spreading them apart, and asked.
Eren bowed his head humbly and answered.

“…Yes, I do.”