Chapter 46: A Guilt-Filled Apology

At a beautiful but unflashy and serene table, the father and daughter were having dinner.

The only sound heard was the clinking of utensils, until the father swallowed his food and spoke.

“I heard that the task I assigned yesterday was completed well.”

“Yes, Father.”

The daughter responded with a smile. It was Yoo Ji-eun and her father, Yoo Tae-seok.

The family meal time at Yoo Ji-eun’s household was no different from other happy families.

A healthy diet, with deliciously prepared food.

But the atmosphere between the two sitting at the table was cold, in stark contrast to the food.

Neither of them bent their backs. They didn’t speak unless responding. They didn’t do anything else.

Yoo Tae-seok put food in his mouth.

And Yoo Ji-eun did the same.

Yoo Tae-seok swallowed his food.

And Yoo Ji-eun did as well.

So, their moments of silence were synchronized.

There was no rule set for this. It was simply a custom Yoo Ji-eun had set for herself.

Yoo Tae-seok often asked questions or spoke while eating.

So, Yoo Ji-eun would have to answer quickly, but sometimes, when her mouth was full, she couldn’t.

And Yoo Tae-seok didn’t like that situation at all.

Thus, it was a habit developed by Yoo Ji-eun alone.

Yoo Tae-seok opened his mouth again.

“The engagement date is approaching. It’s almost like a marriage. The paperwork on our side is all finished, so you don’t have to do anything.”

Yoo Ji-eun fell silent for a moment.

She felt awkward that her father was talking about such a significant event so casually, especially while eating.

She was taken aback.

Her father waited for her answer.

“Answer?”

“… Yes, Father.”

Yoo Ji-eun answered with a smile still on her face.

After finishing the meal, Yoo Ji-eun gave her father a polite bow and went back to her room.

The room, with the evening sky blocked by curtains, was pitch black.

Yoo Ji-eun glanced briefly at the wall.

The white wall reflected a bit of light, giving it a dark hue.

The wall of marriage.

She saw no way to escape it.

She had turned a blind eye and made it this far.

Father, I don’t want to marry a man.

I like women.

And recently, I’ve fallen for my first love, a girl named I-Hyun, a young child.

There was no way she could tell her father about her identity.

It felt hopeless.

Her chest tightened.

She wanted to express her anger somehow.

Yoo Ji-eun’s lips trembled.

“Sh… sh…”

“F*ck…”

…

Moon Hyun was trying to speak the curses she often muttered.

But even that didn’t come out easily as guilt overcame her heart.

The enemy has attacked.
The enemy is massacring.

She pressed the Enter key a few times and then stopped.

“How many times… what’s the jungler doing…”

Our team has been attacked.

“Ah… this is too much…”

Skipping the excuses, it’s really getting annoying.

Is this… Grandmaster queue?

dison123 (Ain): What are you doing?

dison123 (Ain) has been notified that the enemy disappeared.

Cheo Juk Juk Cheo (Timer): ???

Cheo Juk Juk Cheo (Timer): What did I do wrong?

dison123 (Ain): Timer – survival

“No, what…”

She pressed the Enter key immediately and started typing.

Cheo Juk Juk Cheo (Timer): You shouldn’t have gone in there.

dison123 (Ain): It’s your fault for not coming to back me up, what the hell are you talking about?

“Ugh….”

I thought it was already bad enough that there were six ping warnings, but now there’s chatting.

It was clearly a wrong move from the start…

If you’re going to talk that nonsense, just shut up

She typed that in the chat and then deleted it.

…

I don’t want to fight.

Lately, I try not to chat much. I don’t avoid it completely, but I try to avoid situations where I have to chat.

The reason is partly because I’ve been becoming more docile lately.

dison123 (Ain): Is it nice to be praised like you’re some kind of goddess while playing games?

dison123 (Ain): Honestly, you got all this support just because you got boosted?

dison123 (Ain): Try talking to me only.

dison123 (Ain): I won’t tell anyone.

“Ah…”

A faint, almost inaudible groan escaped from the microphone.

When I hear such sexist or harassing comments, my body stiffens.

It’s hard to focus on chatting or playing. My chest tightens, and I get short of breath.

If the other users know I’m a woman, it means I have one more weakness.

There are comments like:

“You’re just reaping what you sow.”

“Honestly, the room leader was also chatting like that, so what’s the big deal?”

“Honestly, if you file a lawsuit over something like that, you’re in the wrong.”

Of course, I have no intention of suing. I still have a conscience.

– Why is the room leader so down?
– Why aren’t your mom and dad stopping you?

“Ah, no… it’s okay. Hehe…”

I tried to calm my trembling voice.

I quickly checked the manager list.

Since it was lunchtime, there was no one online. Thank goodness.

I didn’t want to show this weak side.

After the broadcast ended, I collapsed onto the bed.

I briefly stared at the ceiling. The ceiling was gray, as the sun didn’t shine on it.

The chat from that time continued to linger in her mind.

She lost the game. She turned off the broadcast early.

In the end, it was because of her lack of focus that they lost.

…

“Ugh.”

Suddenly, a wave of sadness rushed in.

She cried a little alone.

Why does it hurt so much? What’s so bad about sexu*al harassment?

Even though she’s been struggling to chat these days, she couldn’t even argue, couldn’t say anything bad, and just ended up getting insulted.

“Idiot.”

While she was like that, the things she had done until now came to mind.

Especially the words she had said to Yu Ji-eun.

– “Go live with your girlfriend and do that.”
– “How much is it if you’re a woman?”
– “I feel like having a threesome.”
– “That one’s pretty big.”
– “Your nickname sounds like a woman’s, two people matched it.”
– “Where’s the guy?”
– “Or are both of you just X-xxxx? f*cking ridiculous. Haha.”
– “Who’s top and who’s bottom? Haha. Oh, do women not have those things?”

“Ugh…”

Her heart sank.

What had she said to someone she cared about?

Why hadn’t Yu Ji-eun scolded her for it?

Was she really okay with it?

Or was she just pretending to be fine?

Thinking that, guilt started to seep into her body.

“I… I need to call…”

With trembling hands, she grabbed her phone.

She pressed on Yu Ji-eun’s contact and dialed.

Please pick up.

If she didn’t resolve this guilt now, it felt like it would be unbearable.

Hello?

A weak voice came through. Recently, Yu Ji-eun always sounded like she was drained.

She spoke with a trembling voice.

“Um, unnie…”

Yes? What’s wrong?

Yu Ji-eun seemed startled by the trembling in her voice and stiffened her tone a bit.

“I’m sorry…”

Yes, yes? What for?

“Um… before… ugh…”

Tears began to well up again. The guilt felt like it was about to explode.

“Before… with Ji-eun unnie and your friend… um, the sexu*al harassment…”

Wh-what?

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while…”

She had thought about apologizing for a long time, and now, finally, she had gathered the courage.

Guilt overcame her fear.

Yu Ji-eun, recalling that time, might hate her, and she was terrified.

A fearful silence came from Yu Ji-eun. All she could hear was her own sobs.

It’s okay.
Ugh…

Was that really true or not?

Even hearing that positive answer, she couldn’t feel satisfied.

Actually, I withdrew the lawsuit. So, it means everything is okay.

“Ugh… but…”

She wanted to hear something more certain. She wanted to hear it in person.

Moreover, there was one more person she needed to apologize to.

“I also need to apologize to your friend…”

Ah… she was a little upset, yeah.

“Can you tell her that I’m really sorry…?”

Uh, sure…

Yu Ji-eun was silent for a moment and then said,

“Would you rather meet her?”

“Meet her?”

Yeah, I’ll bring her to you.

“Wh-what if she hates me?”

Even now, feeling disgusted, she was still worried about her own safety. She was afraid she might not be forgiven. She was scared that she’d carry that wound for the rest of her life.