Subtitle: Where’s My Italian Cannon?
“Hmph~” Qiweiya lay sprawled on the sofa, utterly motionless. Aileika, meanwhile, sat beside her, a wry smile gracing her features as she watched.
Qiweiya, looking utterly burnt out, sighed dramatically. “Aileika, next time, could you please tell me the full number *before* asking for my opinion? Tens of thousands of people! Tens of thousands! I’m utterly exhausted…”
Aileika scratched her hair bun. “Qiweiya, honestly, I had no idea you’d be so quick. By the time I arrived, you’d already started the healing.”
Qiweiya rolled her eyes skyward, muttering, “Couldn’t you have stopped us? Impulsive people like me just charge ahead. Next time, please do me a favor and reject them for me. Are you okay?”
Aileika gave her a flat look. “Couldn’t you just push through and finish it all at once? Do I really need to give you an excuse to stop?”
Qiweiya was on the verge of tears. “Even I get tired! My body might not be, but my heart… my heart is weary~”
Aileika gently stroked Qiweiya’s ivory-white long hair, a sigh escaping her. “You’re still as lazy as ever. I seriously wonder how you ever became the Origin God. Your younger siblings will cry! They definitely will!”
Qiweiya grinned, unperturbed. “What’s there to fear? I raised them all! I’m their mother! When children grow up, they should work for the ‘old folks’ who slaved away for them. Look how good I am to them! They became top leaders the moment they started! Don’t you think I spoil them too much? Oh, I’m practically moved to tears by my own generosity! *sniffle, sniffle*”
Aileika’s expression was one of profound exasperation. “You dump all your work on them so you can frolic in the lower realms yourself, and you still claim you spoil them? I think I’ve finally witnessed the pinnacle of shamelessness…”
Qiweiya lazily flipped over and waved her hand dismissively. “Go on, shoo~ Get out of here~ My skin is so thick, why would I ever abandon it? At the very least, I can use it to block high-explosive bombs or RPGs~ And if needed, I can even equip a ‘reflect damage’ shield. It’s simply too good!”
Aileika sighed in resignation. “Yes, yes, of course~ Our Lady Qiweiya is the most formidable~ We all fall beneath your pomegranate skirt~”
Qiweiya’s face flushed, and she instinctively burrowed further into the sofa. “Don’t talk nonsense! I haven’t shown you my panties! How could you possibly ‘fall beneath my’… bah, bah, bah! That’s impossible! Only I can see my pomegranate skirt! You don’t even think about it~ Mehehehehe!”
Aileika covered her face. She truly couldn’t fathom how Qiweiya transitioned so smoothly from genuine shyness to utter self-satisfaction. Clearly, Qiweiya’s thought process was beyond mortal comprehension.
Qiweiya continued to giggle foolishly, seemingly lost in some lewd thought, her expression rapidly morphing into a lecherous grin.
“Knock, knock, knock…” Without even glancing at the door, Aileika spoke with a chilling tone. “Come in. The door isn’t locked.”
The Demon Winged Soldier who entered quickly wiped a bead of cold sweat from their forehead. They sensed their Queen’s aura was far more oppressive today than usual.
Aileika fixed the soldier with an intense stare. “State your business immediately!” Though her words were polite, her expression conveyed an unmistakable threat: *fail to speak, and you’re dead*.
The soldier bowed their head. “Those humans have returned… Does Your Majesty wish to join the expedition?”
“Holy crap! Those sons of bitches have finally arrived! I’ll beat them senseless!”
“Pfft.” Aileika watched Qiweiya with amusement. Did this girl even realize that *she* was the very ‘mother’ of the ‘sons of bitches’ she was railing against? (Humans were one of the races Qiweiya protected.)
Aileika dismissed the bewildered soldier, then gently kneaded Qiweiya’s cheek, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. “Have you forgotten something?”
Qiweiya looked utterly bewildered. “Huh? Forgotten what?”
Aileika felt a struggle to contain her laughter. “Have you forgotten who’s protecting the humans?”
Observing Qiweiya’s dawning realization swiftly followed by a thunderous expression, Aileika burst into laughter, a sound that could rival the high-decibel speakers Qiweiya used in her previous life.
Qiweiya, her face dark, clapped a hand over Aileika’s mouth. “Don’t you dare laugh! I’m telling you, if you laugh right now, I’ll never forgive you!”
“Cough, cough, cough! Alright, alright, I won’t laugh anymore~ Pfft, honestly, it was just a little laugh. Why such a big reaction? You used to say ‘a laugh a day keeps ten years away’!”
Qiweiya pouted, clearly indignant. “That’s only because you were such a naturally ‘dark’ person back then! Otherwise, I wouldn’t have risked being ‘punished’ by your daughter-obsessed demon father to tease you… Though those times *were* quite fun, I admit~ You wouldn’t believe it, even Lomance, who hadn’t even hatched yet, was getting jealous! Hehehe~”
Aileika’s lips curved upwards. “Oh? I didn’t realize that tsundere girl had such a side to her. But we can’t talk about that now… You know, *your* group of… *pfft*… those sons of bitches are causing trouble again~”
Qiweiya stomped her foot in annoyance. “It’s fine! I’ll make them understand true fear right now~ I’ll make sure they don’t dare to cause trouble a second time!”
Aileika shook her head skeptically. “I doubt your orbital weapons can penetrate the barrier between the two realms. That truly requires a law-level consciousness to break through.”
Qiweiya rolled her eyes. “Who told you I only rely on gadgets? I’m multi-talented! Don’t underestimate me!”
Aileika replied offhandedly. “Yes, yes, I know, my dear Lady Qiweiya. So, are you going to the battlefield or not? Every second now means a life.”
Qiweiya clicked her tongue. “Honestly, so impatient? Fine, I won’t argue with you!”
Qiweiya walked to the window and beckoned Aileika over. “Come here, come here~ I’ll show you my new ride now~”
Under Aileika’s curious gaze, Qiweiya opened her mouth and yelled, “My Italian Cannon! Come back here!”
“Pfft! Cough, cough, cough!”
As Aileika choked in shock, a sleek black motorcycle, equipped with deployable slashing blades on both sides, roared up to the building below, amidst the frantic shouts of guards and the general chaos of their attempts to stop it.
Qiweiya grinned proudly. “See how imposing my new ride is? It’s practically every man’s dream!”
Aileika, rubbing her temples, waved away the approaching guards. Then, she turned to Qiweiya with a helpless sigh. “If you could just be a *little* more normal next time, I think my mood would significantly improve… Such a bizarre name… and such a chaotic entrance? Did your ride just smash through walls to get here? Next time you plan a surprise, please warn me beforehand. Otherwise, my heart won’t be able to take it!”
Qiweiya coughed awkwardly a few times. “Uh, well? Aren’t we going to the battlefield? Come on, come on, hop on~”
“You ride it yourself… I’ll just go on my own.” With that, Aileika ascended into the air and flew away.
Qiweiya pouted. “Fine, don’t ride then! I’ll go by myself!”
Qiweiya, her face alight with excitement, mounted the motorcycle and shouted, “Italian Cannon! Itadamasu! [TL Note: Japanese for ‘Let’s go!’ or ‘Attack!’]”
Amidst another flurry of startled squawks and shouts, leaving a trail of dust and sounds of crumbling walls, she sped off. It seemed the demon kingdom’s construction workers would be making a fortune soon.