A Heart in Turmoil

I think… I might have a crush on the class monitor…

At that moment, the girl felt an unprecedented sense of confusion.

What should I do?

Her heart ached as if twisted by a knife, tears streaming down like a broken kite string. Why… why did it have to be… the monitor of all people?

She couldn’t face this budding emotion, just as she couldn’t face her own life.

Pulling a tissue from her pocket, she wiped away her tears. It was a long time before she could stagger to her feet.

Class was about to start; she couldn’t be late… otherwise, Liu Yinuo would definitely worry…

Struggling to compose herself, she realized she couldn’t go on like this.

She couldn’t continue to accept the monitor’s kindness without understanding, couldn’t keep owing her goodwill.

With her limited abilities, the only solution she could think of…

Was to run away.

****

The girl, who had been absent for so long, returned to the classroom without attracting anyone’s attention—except for two people.

Liu Yinuo cast a worried glance at her, while Lin Ziyan only gave her a cold look before losing interest.

Taking her seat, the girl looked at her desk. Luckily, it hadn’t been touched; her books and pens were still where she left them. But unfortunately, a thick stack of test papers had piled up on top, enough to confuse anyone.

As always, she wore her hat to cover her long hair, keeping her eyes downcast, trying to maintain a low profile and not draw anyone’s notice.

She waited until the teacher came in to start the lesson. Following instructions, she pulled out a completely blank test paper, listening to a lecture she couldn’t understand.

Dizziness, pain, confusion. She felt miserable, yet she couldn’t even look forward to the end of class. Life felt like an eternal torment, endless and unrelenting.

Liu Yinuo, sitting in the front row, was no different. Her mind was full of the sight of the girl fleeing earlier. Now that she had calmed down, she recalled many details she had missed before: the slight trembling of the girl’s hand, her red-rimmed eyes covered in tears. She felt a twinge of guilt. Had she been a bit too hasty? Had she scared the girl?

She didn’t know. All she knew was that it felt like a crack had opened in her heart, and it hurt—so much.

Seeing the girl’s situation in the Lin family, she felt both sympathy and pain. That was why she had been so eager to persuade the girl to come live with her, but it seemed to have backfired. She no longer knew what to do.

After all, why did she care so much about this girl? She found herself strange—never had she been so concerned about someone, so invested in someone, to the point where her mind was filled with nothing but her figure, her tears, her bitterness.

Emotions she couldn’t understand surged within her—so unfamiliar, yet so intense. They made her feel as if she wasn’t herself anymore.

Why… are you so afraid of me?

Why… are you hiding from me like this?

Am I really that terrifying?

Ha… I still can’t let it go. I’ll find a chance to ask her.

She didn’t have to wait long. Near the end of class, their teacher, who was also their homeroom teacher, casually said, “Ye Xingmian, come to my office after class.”

The words didn’t attract anyone else’s attention, but to Liu Yinuo, they were significant. This was a reasonable opportunity to get close to the girl. She sneakily looked back and saw only the girl’s pulled-up hood and the soft, pale chin hidden beneath it.

****

When class ended, the girl stood up to leave, and Liu Yinuo quickly chased after her.

Running down the hallway, ignoring the strange looks from others, she called out, “Classmate Ye!”

The girl stopped and turned around.

“Monitor…?”

Looking into the girl’s pink eyes, which seemed covered in a layer of haze, Liu Yinuo’s breath caught. She paused for a moment, then forced a faint smile.

“You’re going to the homeroom teacher’s office, right? I’ll go with you.”

But the girl simply shook her head gently.

“No need, monitor. I can go by myself.”

Without waiting for Liu Yinuo to say more, she turned and walked away on her own.

“Huh?”

Caught off guard by the girl’s reaction, Liu Yinuo was momentarily stunned. Without thinking, she immediately followed.

“Classmate Ye, if I’m there, I can help explain things to the homeroom teacher.”

Everyone knew that the teacher had called Ye Xingmian to the office because of her frequent absences lately. Liu Yinuo also knew that the girl would freeze up and say nothing when nervous, so it was actually best for her to accompany her.

The girl kept her head down and said nothing.

Liu Yinuo wanted to say more, but seeing her reaction, all her words got stuck in her throat. After a moment of silence, she sighed softly.

Even though the girl hadn’t agreed, she still followed.

When they reached the homeroom teacher’s office, Ye Xingmian silently pushed the door open. The teacher immediately looked up and glanced at her.

“Stand here for now,” she said, pointing to the empty space in front of her desk.

“Mm…” The girl nodded obediently and stood where she was told. The teacher was about to continue with her work, but then another person followed the girl in, surprising her.

“Liu Yinuo? Why are you here?”

Liu Yinuo came in after the girl and closed the door.

“Teacher, I was the one who asked for leave for Ye yesterday. She had a high fever.”

The teacher frowned, realizing that Liu Yinuo was defending Ye Xingmian.

“No matter what, you can’t just ask for leave like that. How many days in a row has this been? The school rule says no more than two absences per week. How many times have you had? You can’t be sick every day, can you?”

“Yes, teacher,” Liu Yinuo said firmly.

The teacher was momentarily speechless, almost angry. She pointed at Ye Xingmian, who had been standing silently beside her the whole time.

“Learning to talk back to me, just to speak up for her?”

“No, teacher. She really was sick. I was afraid she wouldn’t be able to explain herself clearly, so I came to help clarify.”

“Fine, fine, you’re smooth-tongued. Enough, take her away. Be careful about the distance between you two, and also, help her catch up on her studies.”

With just a few words, the reprimand that was meant for the girl was easily deflected by Liu Yinuo.

As a homeroom teacher, she was naturally more patient and lenient with top students. That logic wasn’t hard to understand.

Liu Yinuo tried to tug at the girl’s hand, who had somehow wandered off in thought again, and said softly, “Let’s go.”

Only then did the girl seem to snap back to reality. Her confused eyes met Liu Yinuo’s, carrying an indescribable complexity—both gratitude and pain.

But the usually sharp Liu Yinuo didn’t read them. She simply took it as the girl’s daze from escaping trouble. With a smug smile, she pulled the girl away.