A Heavy Heart

(Ling Yan’s Perspective)

“What, can’t say it? You must be planning to bring Xiao Xi here to do something bad.”

Xiao Lu slowly approached Zhou Chen step by step, exuding a sense of pressure that demanded an explanation.

I was glad I had brought Xiao Lu along. Otherwise, I definitely couldn’t have treated Zhou Chen like this, or said what I was thinking—which was exactly what Xiao Lu was saying.

“No, how could that be?”

Zhou Chen seemed to want to step back, but the table was behind him. Before he could take another step, he bumped against the edge of the table. With his back pressed against it, he wore a strained expression as he looked at Xiao Lu and me.

So Zhou Chen really did have other thoughts about Xiao Xi. Otherwise, why would he look so guilty?

And I had told Xiao Xi during training not to get too close to Zhou Chen. So why did she agree to his request?

I looked at Xiao Xi, who had been sitting there silently watching us. But she just blinked her bright eyes at me, offering no other reaction.

(Maybe I was overthinking it. Xiao Xi might not have any other motives. She probably just came along because it was a Senior’s suggestion.)

I comforted myself with that thought.

“Then just say it.”

Xiao Lu walked right up to Zhou Chen, hands on her hips, leaning her face close to his aggressively. From my angle, it looked like their faces were almost touching.

That made me think of the time Xiao Lu had secretly kissed Zhou Chen, and my heart felt heavy. Even though knowing Xiao Lu didn’t like him had calmed me down, I didn’t want her to do something that intimate with him again.

“Xiao Lu, let’s sit down first. Otherwise, it might affect the boss’s business.”

I quickly walked over and pulled Xiao Lu back, away from Zhou Chen.

“Ah, right. That guy… is it Uncle Da? I’m really sorry!”

Xiao Lu snapped out of it and gasped, pressing her hands together and looking apologetically at the stout boss behind the counter.

Seeing Xiao Lu pulled away, Zhou Chen relaxed, let out a long breath, and gave me a grateful look. My heart beat a little faster. I didn’t dare meet his eyes. I felt guilty.

(Sorry, Zhou Chen. I wasn’t purely trying to help you.)

“It’s fine, it’s fine. But I didn’t expect you, little girl, to remember me, haha…”

Uncle Da, the shop owner, laughed heartily and waved his hand, clearly not minding.

“Of course. Even though I’ve only been here once, the fried chicken Uncle Da makes is super delicious. I still remember it.”

Xiao Lu’s eyes sparkled as she looked at Uncle Da.

“Haha, little girl, don’t praise me like that, or I’ll be embarrassed.”

The shop owner, seeing that we had stopped arguing, turned back to handle the ingredients.

“But Uncle Da’s fried chicken is really good. I mean it,” Xiao Lu said while sitting down next to Zhou Chen. She seemed to realize something, looked at me, then stood up and went to sit beside Xiao Xi instead.

“You really know how to talk, little girl. Alright, since you said that and you’re Xiao Chen’s friends, I’ll give you a 20% discount on everything you ordered today. How about that?”

The shop owner turned back to us and smiled.

“Really? Uncle Da is the best!” Xiao Lu raised her arms excitedly.

“Uncle Da, don’t listen to Xiao Lu. Your shop is a small business, right? With a 20% discount, you won’t make any profit.” Zhou Chen sighed and looked helplessly at the shop owner.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. I don’t make much money anyway. And seeing you have so many friends now, I’m really happy.” The shop owner turned back and continued, “I originally thought that because Xiao—”

“Uncle Da!”

Just as I was silently listening to the shop owner and wondering about his relationship with Zhou Chen, Zhou Chen’s sudden shout rang through the shop, startling me.

I looked at Zhou Chen. His face had turned ghastly, his fists were clenched, and his whole body was trembling.

What happened? Was it because of what the shop owner said? “Xiao…” what? That must be a name. Who was it? Him or her?

I had never seen Zhou Chen like this. Was it fear or terror? What did that person do to him? Countless possibilities flashed through my mind.

“Ah, sorry. I forgot I shouldn’t bring that up.” The shop owner realized he had said the wrong thing and smiled bitterly at Zhou Chen.

So what was going on? I didn’t understand. I desperately wanted to know, but seeing Zhou Chen like this, I knew I couldn’t ask him.

I could only sit beside him, quietly watching him. I wanted to hold him in my arms and comfort him, but what if that made him hate me? My mind was a mess.

“S-sorry. I… I have something to do. Treat Xiao Xi to a meal as my apology. I have to go now.”

While I was hesitating, Zhou Chen forced a smile that was more pained than a ghost’s, and before we could react, he ran off.

I weakly raised my hand. I felt like if I let him run away like this, I would lose something important. But my body was stiff, and I could only watch his retreating back, unable to do anything.

After that, Xiao Lu, Xiao Xi, and I asked the shop owner, but he wouldn’t say anything.

However, when he found out I was Zhou Chen’s girlfriend, he looked at me for a while, then told me to comfort him well, saying that maybe only I could help him.

There was nothing we could do. Even though I was curious about what the shop owner implied, the three of us had to leave the fried chicken shop.

The whole way back, no one spoke. Xiao Lu and Xiao Xi looked gloomy as well. We parted ways at the intersection where we each headed toward our respective homes, and I went back alone.

“I’m home.”

After fumbling with the key in the lock a few times, I finally managed to open the door. I spoke weakly into the house.

“My dear imouto is finally back! As your onii-chan… Ling Yan, what’s wrong?”

My brother, sitting on the sofa watching cartoons, turned to me with his usual strange Japanese phrases, but then his expression turned dark.

I knew it was because of how I looked. He must have misunderstood something.

“It’s nothing.” I shook my head lightly, not wanting him to know.

“But Ling Yan, it’s obvious something’s wrong. Tell me who it is. I won’t beat anyone into a coma this time.” My brother jumped off the sofa and looked at me seriously.

My head hurt. I knew he cared about me, but sometimes it was a nuisance. In middle school, some upperclassmen bullied me. Someone who knew my brother at school told him, and he brought a group of people to beat them badly. If my dad hadn’t pulled some strings, my brother would probably still be in juvenile detention instead of just being slovenly in high school.

“It’s really nothing. No one bullied me. You know I have a boyfriend, right?”

“So that boyfriend of yours pissed you off? I knew it! Except for your onii-chan, no other man is trustworthy—especially toward my world’s cutest little sister!” My brother put his hands on my shoulders, spouting nonsense again. “So, I’ll make your boyfriend pay.”

He finished and pulled out his phone to make a call.

“Brother! cough cough!“

I never usually raised my voice. I didn’t expect it to hurt my throat so much.

“Ling Yan, are you okay?!” Seeing me in pain, my brother quickly put away his phone and nervously looked me over.

I held back my cough and looked at my brother in front of me with his messy blonde hair, wearing cartoon character clothes and looking slovenly. The mess in my head only got worse.

“Brother…”

“What?”

“I hate you the most.”

“Huh?”

“I said, I hate you the most!”

I yelled at him. He looked like he had lost his soul, muttering, “Hated by my cutest little sister… hated by my cutest little sister…”

“So, Brother, you absolutely cannot cause trouble for Zhou Chen, understand?”

“No way.” He glared at me.

But I knew he would lose eventually. Sure enough, after a few seconds of staring, he looked away.

“Ah, fine, fine! Damn it. But if I find out that guy Zhou Chen is bullying you, even if you stop me, I’ll make him pay.”

“Mm, I know.”

I relaxed. When Zhou Chen walked me home that one time, my brother happened to come home and caught us. If I hadn’t desperately stopped him, threatening to never talk to him again, Zhou Chen would have met a very violent end by now.

My brother went back to the sofa to watch his cartoons. He said it was “anime” or something, but to me, it was just the cartoons I watched as a kid.

After dealing with my troublesome brother, I went back to my room and collapsed onto the soft bed. Even though it would wrinkle my school uniform, I didn’t have the energy to change. I was already exhausted from what happened with Zhou Chen at the fried chicken shop, and then having to deal with my brother on top of that. I was too tired to move.

I lifted my head and saw the teddy bear by the bedside. I pulled it over and pressed my face against its fuzzy belly.

Ah, so comfortable. It felt like Zhou Chen was beside me.

Come to think of it, this plushie was a gift from Zhou Chen on my birthday. I had refused it at first, but Xiao Lu kept urging me to accept it, so I did. Now, I really liked it.

I reached out and poked the bear’s shiny black nose. It was as dumb as Zhou Chen.

But after playing with the teddy bear, I missed Zhou Chen even more. How was he? Had he made it home safely?

I wanted to call him. I turned over, took out my phone, and scrolled to his contact info. But what if he wouldn’t answer?

I hesitated for a long time, my finger hovering over the call button, but I still couldn’t press it. I regretted not giving Zhou Chen my QQ or WeChat. If I could just send a message, I think I could manage that.