Life is Full of Sur…prises

He didn’t know how Anne’s mindset had twisted and warped over the years, turning a simple case of raising a young boy into a full-blown, psychosexual kidnapping and imprisonment scenario, but Ewan knew, with every fiber of his being, that he had to escape. He honestly didn’t know what other terrifying, mind-breaking tricks she had up her sleeve. Just a few days of being locked up like this had already pushed him to his absolute limit. His mind was exhausted, and his kidneys were even more so.

He wanted to live. More than that, he wanted to live freely. And if at all possible, he wanted to live happily.

This disposable blond villain had no intention of surrendering his life to this beautiful, terrifying monster.

“Let’s do this! Time to fight!”

…

The best part about recognizing this place was the small, precious measure of comfort it provided. Ewan’s greatest fear was that Anne had locked him away in some complex, unfamiliar, and probably booby-trapped location where he wouldn’t even be able to find an escape route. Thankfully, as his personal maid, her movements and resources were somewhat restricted. Modifying an abandoned basement on the ducal estate’s grounds into a personal love prison was probably the most she could manage. Otherwise, Ewan had no doubt that she would have built a grand, inescapable castle in the middle of a lake to imprison him forever. Turning him into the “princess” trapped in a tower, never to see the light of day, was probably her ultimate, twisted fantasy.

“Unfortunately for you, I’d much rather be the prince.”

Ewan grabbed a rusty hatchet from a pile of junk in the corner and, clutching it tightly like a holy relic, began to cautiously make his way toward the exit he remembered, his eyes peeled for any potential traps.

Thankfully, there were none.

He let out a sigh of relief. He had no way of detecting traps, especially magical ones. If Anne had been a little more ruthless and had set up all sorts of tripwires or alarm systems in the exit tunnel, he would have been completely, utterly screwed. But then again, this was still technically within the ducal estate. If someone from the household were to wander in by mistake and trigger a trap, it could cause a major incident. For Anne, who had secretly imprisoned the son of a duke, that was a risk she likely wouldn’t want to take.

“Speaking of which,” he wondered, “do the other maids in the estate know about this? Are they being kept in the dark by Anne, or are they… accomplices?”

…

Ewan moved slowly, his heart pounding a frantic rhythm against his ribs, but the end of the tunnel was clearly in sight. After rounding a final corner, a sudden, brilliant, heavenly light nearly blinded him. But he refused to close his eyes. Even as tears streamed down his face from the harsh, beautiful glare, he stared directly at the dazzling light source in the distance, like a dying man seeing a vision of hope.

The exit! That was the exit!

He was about to escape! He was going to be free!

In that moment, Ewan thought of the sky, of the sea, of himself galloping freely on a magnificent horse across an endless, sun-drenched plain.

Ah, freedom. This is the sweet, sweet taste of freedom.

Freedom was right there…

Clack.

A single, crisp footstep suddenly echoed in the tunnel.

At the source of the light, a familiar shadow flickered, blocking most of the glorious glare.

Ewan, who had just been waxing poetic about the joys of liberty, felt as if he had been instantly teleported to a frozen wasteland and had a bucket of ice water dumped over his head. He quickly, silently, ducked back around the corner.

There was only one person who could be making that sound right now.

Anne.

But how could she be back so soon?

He roughly calculated the time. From the moment he had picked the lock to now, no more than half an hour had passed.

Half an hour!

For a girl supposedly in the throes of a new, all-consuming love, half an hour probably wasn’t even enough time to do her eyebrows. How had Anne managed to take a bath and change her clothes so quickly? Was this the legendary, terrifying professionalism of a maid? To be able to wash herself clean and fragrant in under thirty minutes, all for her impatient master’s… pleasure?

This was not a goofy, moe character trait he needed right now!

“Damn it.”

At this point, Ewan had to admit that he had been a bit too hasty. Perhaps it would have been better to wait until nightfall. But the arrow had already left the bow. Even if he went back to the cell and chained himself up, pretending nothing had happened, Anne would surely notice something was amiss.

He had to find another way.

His gaze swept over his surroundings, and in a dark corner, he spotted an old, abandoned cabinet.

“Maybe…”

His eyes lit up with a desperate, brilliant hope.

…

Tap. Tap. Tap.

In the dead, suffocating silence, the crisp sound of footsteps grew closer, each one seeming to land directly on Ewan’s frantically beating heart.

He tried to calm himself, clamping a hand over his mouth and nose and holding his breath. He was now hidden inside the cabinet. It was an old, abandoned, and blessedly sturdy thing, just tall enough to conceal him. He didn’t know who had left it here, but it was a literal lifesaver. This tunnel was a straight shot; without a place to hide, he would have run right into her. And that would have been the end.

Thank you, oh unknown and probably non-existent Cabinet God. May every scene of closely-busted in the world have a convenient closet to hide in.

Ewan prayed silently, his eyes squeezed shut. 

“She’s coming.”

Feeling her approach, he peered through a tiny crack in the cabinet door, tracking her movements.

Anne slowly walked into his field of vision. Her posture was as prim and elegant as ever, each step a perfectly measured distance. She had just bathed and had changed into a fresh maid’s uniform. Her hair, however, was not tied up as usual, but was hanging wet and dark down her back, giving her a different, and strangely, dangerously alluring, look.

But looking at her now, Ewan’s heart was in his throat. In his eyes, she was no longer a beautiful and captivating maid, but a ferocious, man-eating monster. And he was the poor, helpless, and very naked soul forced to hide in a cabinet to escape her.

If he was discovered, he was dead!

The thought made his heart pound even faster. He kept his eyes glued on her, watching as she walked from the right side of his vision to the left.

“Hmm, hmm, hmm…”

She seemed to be in a good mood, humming a little tune under her breath. Ewan recognized it. It was the same lullaby she used to sing to him when he couldn’t sleep as a child.

How nostalgic. It’s been a long time since she’s hummed… wait, is now really the time for this?!

Miss Anne, please stop humming! Don’t you want to see me? Just walk a little faster! I’m right at the end of the hall, waiting for you!

Ewan silently, desperately begged for her to speed up. Every second of this was pure, unadulterated torture.

“Hm?”

Anne suddenly let out a small, surprised sound and stopped.

Watching this, Ewan’s heart nearly leaped out of his throat and made a break for it on its own.

Eh? What? Did she find me?

But I’m hidden so well! How could she have found me?

It’s over, it’s so over! If she finds me now, she’ll definitely chop off my arms and legs and turn me into a human torso!

My freedom, my galloping across the plains, my very life is over!

“Strange. My shoelace came undone. I’m sure I tied it properly.”

Anne suddenly bent down to tie her shoe.

“…”

“It was… just a shoelace?”

Seeing this, Ewan let out a long, shuddering, and completely silent sigh of relief.

He’d almost had a heart attack.

Thankfully, the gruesome, horrifying end he had imagined had not come to pass. After tying her shoe, Anne continued on her way with her usual elegant stride and disappeared from his view. Soon, even the sound of her footsteps had faded into the oppressive silence.

“Is she gone?”

It seemed so.

“Does that mean… I survived?”

Ewan couldn’t help but feel a wave of ecstatic, almost hysterical, post-disaster joy. He had really, truly thought he was a dead man. Thank the heavens, the worst had not happened.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! It’s all smooth sailing from here!”

Ewan thought happily, and then, with a triumphant grin, he pushed open the cabinet door to leave this hellish place for good.

“Huh? Strange.”

His smile suddenly froze on his face.

“Why won’t the cabinet door open?”

Could it be…

Ewan’s neck creaked as he stiffly, mechanically, looked up. And then he saw it…

In the very crack he had just been using to peer out, a single, beautiful, and terrifyingly familiar eye was now peering in at him.

Sensing his gaze, the eye crinkled into a sweet, smiling, crescent moon shape.

“My dear Young Master,” a sweet, musical, and utterly demonic voice cooed from the other side of the door. “Whatever are you doing… in a place like this?”