Chapter 5: It’s been a month since the broadcast-6

I tucked my hand into my t-shirt and scratched my belly. “Ugh…”

The pain was gone, but my voice had become strained.

I gently stroked my throat and took a sip of water.

It stung a little.

By the way…

“What should I do…?”

The first thing I did after waking up was search my nickname.

Since I had done a collab with a major company, I thought there might be at least a couple of posts about me, so I checked, but I was hit with hundreds of posts that made my heart race and gave me a panic attack.

Had the world changed in just two days?

I tried to calm my pounding heart as I slowly read through the posts mentioning my nickname.

Though there were some posts filled with disgust, most of them were about how cute I was.

It made my heart flutter.

I rubbed my legs together and twisted my body.

“Ha… Hehehe…”

I wasn’t used to compliments.

An unfamiliar feeling, an unfamiliar sensation.

My mind went blank, and it felt like my sanity was slowly being gnawed away.

It was awkward and embarrassing… but I guess it didn’t matter.

I stopped denying it and quietly muttered to myself.

“I feel good…”

When was the last time I received a compliment?

Had I been complimented since elementary school?

Cigarettes? I’ve smoked them before.

Alcohol? I’ve drunk it before.

But nothing compared to this pleasure.

I didn’t like the look of myself grinning in a way that might seem unpleasant, so I tried to pull the corners of my mouth down with my fingers, but they just went back up again.

“Heh…”

Three hours later, I realized that there were no more new posts and refreshed the page several times before, with a “Hot!” sound, I suddenly snapped to attention.

“I have to stream…!”

I wanted more compliments.

If I streamed, wouldn’t I get even more compliments?

I knew this was a rare event.

That it was just a temporary thing because of the collaboration with the major company.

But even so, the posts were so sweet that I couldn’t just let go. I felt like I was getting addicted to the kind words directed at me.

“…Let’s not make a fuss…!”

I’d heard somewhere that expecting something was the same as setting yourself up for betrayal.

It was true, so I tried to tell myself not to expect anything, but in my heart, I kept asking, “Really?”

“Ugh… I don’t know…”

It was such an unfamiliar situation.

I had experienced many uncomfortable unfamiliar situations before.

So I knew how to handle them, but I had no idea how to deal with this “pleasant unfamiliar situation.”

“First of all…”

Let’s check the channel.

With this many posts, my subscriber count must have increased.

It should be around 50 by now, right?

I clicked on my channel with a grin, and once again, I was hit with a mental freeze, just like when I was reading the posts.

The subscriber count had multiplied dozens of times.

Hundreds of comments.

Just this alone was enough to make my head spin, but there was something even bigger.

There was a comment mentioning me from NemoMi!

“Ugh…”

I wiped my nose and, with trembling hands, added a heart to NemoMi’s comment.

Then I seriously thought about the offer she gave me.

A collab proposal.

It was something worth considering.

I received so much attention from just one collab.

As a broadcaster, it was definitely a situation I wouldn’t want to miss.

But could I really handle all this attention?

Neomomi’s comment brought my wandering thoughts back.

The answer was “No.”

I was still clumsy.

I wasn’t ready for attention, love, or even criticism.

So what should I do?

The answer was simpler than I thought.

If I was still clumsy, I needed to become stronger.

I shouldn’t expect such luck again and should take things step by step from the beginning.

If I acted recklessly, my heart would pound, pound, pound. I regained my rhythm.

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

I was asked, and I nodded.

Compliments felt good, but if I let my reason become paralyzed by them, I would surely make a big mistake.

I would crave more praise and behave in an increasingly blatant way, which would result in making mistakes and disappointing my viewers.

How many streamers have burned brightly only to disappear?

I wouldn’t follow their path.

I wouldn’t be fooled by the illusion of popularity.

“Ahem…!”

I cleared my throat.

My throat wasn’t in a good state, but I started the broadcast anyway.

Ten minutes passed since the broadcast started.

I waited, just in case, but the viewer count was at 0.

“…Yeah, it’s fine.”

Wasn’t this expected?

Popularity was just an illusion, and those viewers hadn’t come for me, Riera, but for the hype around the collaboration.

I expected it, but the disappointment was still unavoidable. Would it be too pathetic to admit that?

“Today’s game is…! Isaac!”

The game I had planned to play last time but couldn’t.

I selected the basic character and started the game, and one viewer entered.

• Riha- “Ah?! Hello!”

A viewer!

And not a troll or a harasser, but a regular viewer!

No, they even greeted me, so they must be an angel!

I was so surprised that I fumbled for a moment, and my character got hit by a bullet barrage and died, but was that the issue?

A viewer entered!

Even if it was just one…

“Huh?”

Three people?

• Riha Riha!
• Issac , huh?
• What is this?

Five, ten, twelve, then twenty-one viewers.

This couldn’t be happening.

Instead of feeling happy, I was in shock, and one thought crossed my mind.

Could they have misunderstood something?

“Uhm… there’s no collaboration today!”

One person left after my comment, but a new viewer took their place.

Still 21 viewers.

• I konw
• So what game are you playing today?
• Never seen anyone die on the 12th floor before
• Why does your voice sound like that?

“Ah… I caught a cold…!”

• [NexNex donated 1,000 won!]
• Get well soon!

A well-wishing message?

“Is this… a dream?”

• No.
• LoL
• se*x

I almost banned the last person, but stopped myself.

“W-Well, I’ll start the game now…!”

• The way you’re playing is so awkward, but that’s what’s cute. Heh.
• Long comments, cut them out.
• Are you only playing Isaac today?

I pinched my cheek, but I could feel the pain.

So it wasn’t a dream…?

I still couldn’t quite believe it.

“W-Well… let’s start!”

That’s when it happened.

• [10,000 won donation!] From NemoMi!
• Hello!

…NemoMi?

“?”

No, it couldn’t be!

I thought it might be an imposter, so I clicked on the nickname, but it was the real NemoMi.

It felt like déjà vu from when Dragon visited.

“What… what is this?”

Why? Why was she here? Why was she suddenly donating such a large amount of money?

I had so many questions.

Was she here to bother me for not responding to her for two days?

But I quickly shook my head and dismissed the thought.

She wasn’t that kind of person.

Had I even watched NemoMi’s streams a few times?

She was the type who would cry if the chicken was late.

She would cry if the delivery food got the wrong order.

A person who cried a lot.

She couldn’t possibly be the type to do this!

After thinking this through, I welcomed NemoMi with the brightest voice I could muster.

“Hello! I saw your comment! I’m so sorry… I caught a cold…!”

“But, um… I think you might have donated by mistake… Should I refund it?”

Right after I said that, the chat got flooded with ‘heh heh heh heh’.

• A 20-viewer streamer is worrying about a 2,000-viewer broadcaster?

If you look at the numbers, it’s a difference of 100 times, but that wasn’t the issue.

“W-Well, no matter how you look at it, 10,000 won is still a lot of money!”

That’s enough to buy three 1.5L bottles of cola!

• Fact – NemoMi earns hundreds of thousands per day just by turning on her half-cam.
• Heh heh heh heh
• Fact – half cam videos get at least 800k views

Everyone kept saying I should just accept it.

But why was I getting this huge amount of money when I hadn’t done anything to deserve it?

I knew my place.

This money was something I should not accept.

Suddenly overwhelmed by the onslaught of donations, I trembled as NemoMi broke the silence.

• [100,000 KRW donation] NeMoMi said,
• “Does this mean it’s not enough??”

“Ah! No, no! I’m sorry!”

• “what are you sorry for? hahaha!”
• “just take it hahaha!”

Why are they doing this to me?

With a threatening vibe like “I’ll pay you to shut up,” I had no choice but to keep my mouth shut.

If I said anything here, I felt like something I couldn’t handle would come flying at me.

I tried to think hard. But really, why did they come to this humble place?

My head ached, and I rubbed my temples.
The game was already secondary.

Even after taking medicine, the cold seemed to be coming back, or maybe the excessive donations were making me feel sick. My body was shivering.

Should I cover myself with a blanket?
But I felt too hot. I didn’t want to.

Instead, I decided to grab one of the clothes nearby and put it on.

“Ehh… Achoo!”

A sudden cough.
As sudden as my cough, the chat messages started flooding in.

• “So cute hahaha!”
• “Why does the sneeze sound like that?”
• “So cute!”

The last one was from NeMoMi.
…?

NeMoMi?

“Ugh… I’m not cute!”

When I saw it in the comments, it felt ticklish and nice, but hearing it in real-time was embarrassing and shameful.

• “Typical cute person, gets mad when you say they’re cute.”
• “Hahaha.”

Really now, hahaha.
Why does NeMoMi keep agreeing with them?

Was NeMoMi always like this?

Didn’t they choose the fan name “slaves” and go for a queen concept?

This wasn’t exactly queen-like behavior.

Well, there probably isn’t a queen who cries over late chicken delivery.

I was mistaken for a moment.

I reassured myself and wiggled my fingers.

But still, I couldn’t let the “cute” comments slide.

“I… I’m not cute. I’m gloomy, and a little pathetic.”

• “Why deny it?”
• “What does strong denial mean?”
• “How tall are you, Liera?”

“Um… My height, the last time I measured, was around 153cm. Something like that!”

• “Wow, so small!”
• “So short.”

Well, if NeMoMi, who’s 167cm, saw me, it might seem small, but it wasn’t that short.
I couldn’t understand it, and I just muttered, “Hmm, hmm.”

Then a comment popped up in the chat.

• “Aren’t you playing the game?”

Ah!

“Um… I don’t think I can clear it with my skills…”

• “Boring.”

That one word felt like a heavy weight on my chest.

I lowered my gaze to the floor and fiddled with my fingers.

I knew I wasn’t as talented as NeMoMi or other streamers.

I bit my lip several times and took another sip of water.

Trying to calm my nerves, I looked back at the chat, and everyone was attacking that person.

Was this my fault…?

Ah, they left.

• “Liera, you don’t have a community or something, right?”

“Um… I do search sometimes before bed…”

• “Stop it immediately!”
• “Why visit a mental hospital?”

“I’ll stop!”

If a 110,000 KRW donor tells me to stop, I should.

But that was my joy! What should I replace it with now?

Of course, the personal attacks or complete silence would have made me feel a little down…
But everyone complimented me, and that felt nice!

• “You did great.”

“Uh… Thanks?”
I tilted my head.
What did I do great?

• “But are you really not going to play the game?”

“Sorry…”

• “How about if you keep going, we’ll donate 300,000 KRW?”

“Uh…?! Please save your money! Don’t waste it!”

I ended up saying it in a casual tone, but I had to stop NeMoMi from spending money like this!

Why would they try to spend money?

This wasn’t right.
As a fan of NeMoMi, I wouldn’t succumb to their bad spending habits!

Let’s protect NeMoMi’s wallet!

• “If you clear it, we’ll donate 500,000 KRW.”

“…Alright, I’ll give it a try.”

It was too much money to refuse.