My husband is asleep, my wife is not my mother-in-law

The place Kefeier took me to was a corner of the not-so-affluent “slum district” in the city.

According to her, this was her favorite “secret base” as a child.

From now on, this is the place where I cling to her thigh for dear life… ahem,
I mean, the place where Kefeier “monitors” me!

Because of everything that happened at that evil organization this morning—finally managing to latch onto the heroine’s powerful leg and no longer needing to flee every day as a pitiful villain—I was so exhausted that I didn’t even have the energy to be happy.

I collapsed onto the pillow and fell asleep without even asking if I could use the only bed in the room.

So, the next day…

[Slap]

A fair, slender arm landed squarely on my chest.

The force behind it, so mismatched with its delicate appearance, nearly knocked the breath out of me.

Still groggy from sleep and bathed in the early morning sunlight,
I instinctively tried to move the hand that had slapped my chest and now hurt.

Then…

I was fully awake! The arm I was grabbing felt silky smooth—but I wasn’t dreaming.

This was real. The arm on me… belonged to Kefeier, the protagonist!

Gulp.

My experience as a villain told me I could almost feel a chilling breeze of doom.

I cautiously followed the arm with my eyes to its owner—and the next moment,
I understood: this was far more than just “an arm slapped me.”

Kefeier and I had slept on the same bed. That’s putting it optimistically.

A more realistic description: after one night, our positions had twisted together like a pretzel!

Her arm on my chest was just an appetizer—those two soft mounds had wedged my entire arm between them; even through clothes,
I could feel the smoothness of her waist.

And let’s not even talk about our tangled legs.

As a man, is there anything better than waking up tightly embraced by a sweet-smelling beautiful girl?

But the moment I looked at her face and felt her calm breath tickle mine… I calmed down.

This is Kefeier. The protagonist. I’m going to die…

I’m no overpowered “Dragon-Aotian” type who instantly wins over the heroine.

Kefeier is the true main character, and I’m just the cowardly villain trying to survive by clinging to her.

And now I’ve slept with her? There’s no way I’ll survive even an hour!

I distinctly remember falling asleep immediately last night.

Even if something happened in a dream, with Kefeier’s strength she could’ve smacked me into obedience.

Besides, we were both fully dressed. It looks like we really did just “sleep on the same bed.”

Nothing terrible happened. I let out a sigh of relief.

But just as I was preparing to gently push Kefeier away to “avoid trouble,”
her tightly shut eyes suddenly snapped open the moment my hand neared her shoulder!

She stared at me in shock, eyes wide, and with a gust of force her hand flew toward my face, looking ready to slap my head clean off!

Luckily, she stopped just before it landed, as she quickly checked her own clothes.

Then she got up at once, adopting the kind of “post-event nonchalance” only a protagonist could pull off, and carefully checked her outfit again.

“G-Good morning?”

“You didn’t see anything just now, got it?”

My arm that had been stuffed between those two soft mounds all night still carried their scent—how could I possibly act like nothing happened?

Kefeier didn’t even wait for my reply.

Maybe because she confirmed we were both “intact,” her shocked expression gradually faded.

“I told you yesterday—this is my secret base. I usually let myself relax here.
And you, like some drunk pig, passed out the moment you hit the bed. I was originally going to make you sleep on the couch!”

Still glaring at me, Kefeier reached up to rub the redness lingering on her face from earlier.

“Maybe I wasn’t fully conscious and instinctively climbed back onto the bed. Anyway, forget it ever happened!”

“I’ll try…”

I really want to hold tightly onto her powerful thigh without angering her, but as a man, I have to be honest with myself: I’ll never forget this for the rest of my life.

“You smooth-talking fake priest…”

Kefeier looked like she was about to explode, but then she shifted awkwardly and, after carefully scanning me up and down, turned away.

“I’m going to take a bath now. Forget what happened while I’m gone! If you don’t, I’ll chop you up when I’m done!”

A bath!!?

“What’s with that pig-face?! I just don’t want some shady priest like you ruining my mood! If you think you can sneak a peek, go ahead and try—see if you manage to look first or drop dead first.”

“I wouldn’t dare…”

Go ahead, take your bath however you want.

Sing if you like.

I wouldn’t dream of disturbing the protagonist’s bath.

She frowned at my respectful tone, and what I couldn’t tell was whether I should be relieved or worried: Kefeier clearly didn’t see me as a real man.

Sure enough, a moment later, the sound of running water echoed from the bathroom’s small stall.

“Waterfalls cascading from the heavens… is this the Milky Way…”

“Quiet! What are you mumbling about?!”

Yes ma’am, your legs are divine—you’re always right.

I narrowly escaped disaster with the bed incident.

If I cling to her thigh the wrong way now, she really will kill me.

Powerless, I could only listen to the water as background music and observe Kefeier’s so-called “secret base.”

It’s a property located outside the capital of the Great Ying Empire, in the slums of another noble’s territory.

Crude, sure, but not dirty—more like simple and unadorned.

Judging by the complete set of household items and utensils, it seems Kefeier actually spends a fair amount of time here.

Which… doesn’t quite add up?

“Miss Kefeier, do you always stay in a place like this?”

Trying to ease the awkward silence, I asked toward the bathroom.

There was a pause before she answered.

“Is that a problem?”

“It’s just strange. You’re supposed to be a noble lady, right…”

In the world of my story script, the continent is divided into various kingdoms.

The one Kefeier hails from is called the Great Ying Empire, and her family is second only to royalty.

After all, the whole “two spiritual roots and dead parents” backstory only applies to male protagonists.

Kefeier, as a favored daughter of the heavens, is the very definition of a female main character.

She mentioned something about wanting to “relax”—did something upset her recently?

Well, if I want to cling to her thigh more securely, I have to ask…

[Clatter]

With her long hair still damp and wrapped in a towel, Kefeier appeared before me with a stern expression, completely ignoring my question.

She pointed directly at me.

“Your turn. Get rid of that disgusting man-stench on you.

To prevent you from escaping or doing anything suspicious, I’m going to put a contract on you and monitor your actions.

Go wash up—now! Hey—wait! Why are you undressing so fast?! Don’t you want to ask what kind of contract it is!?”

Pfft, as long as I can cling to your thigh, only a fool would ask what you’re planning to do to me!