The Mirror’s Reflection

“What is it?”

‘Kwon Yohan’s wrist, is it some kind of public handle? Everyone just grabs it and tries to drag me away.’ Han Doyoung stared at me, lost in such frivolous thoughts, his eyes reflecting a complex mix of emotions.

He didn’t answer, releasing me only after we had reached the waiting room.

“Did you get some special training in the meantime?”

Han Doyoung seemed genuinely puzzled by Kwon Yohan’s suddenly improved skills.

As idols from a major agency, HEX members train with the best in every field. Their choreographers and trainers would be no exception. If one truly wanted to improve, they wouldn’t seek out a separate trainer but would focus on regular practice. It was an absurd assumption. I shook my head decisively.

“Then what is it? Are you saying you could always do this, but you were deliberately acting clumsy before?”

A flush of anger began to creep across his previously pale face. ‘Ah, perhaps I should have just let him believe I’d received special training.’ In that brief moment, Han Doyoung seemed to have concluded that he had been deceived by Kwon Yohan all along.

“You, just what in the world…”

A vein throbbed in Han Doyoung’s neck, as if he were about to unleash a torrent of accusations. Yet, before he could raise his voice, a large figure stepped between us, blocking Han Doyoung.

‘For a moment, I thought it would be Yoon Jihyuk again.’ Lee Seon was seated far away, watching us with a smug expression, and Choi Seung-beom didn’t seem like the type to meddle in conflicts.

“That’s enough.”

Breaking my expectation, the voice that spoke belonged to Choi Seung-beom.

“The performance went well, didn’t it? We have to go back out for the ending soon. Is this really the time to be fighting?”

Han Doyoung pressed his lips into a thin line, glaring at Choi Seung-beom with insolent eyes. He clearly wanted to retort, but no suitable, unyielding words seemed to come to mind. After a stretch of silence, Choi Seung-beom sighed softly and patted his shoulder.

“Cool your head.”

As if that phrase were the final spark, Han Doyoung stormed out of the waiting room, his face flushed with indignation. Lee Seon, after a moment of hesitation, followed him out.

It seemed Yoon Jihyuk hadn’t even entered the waiting room with them in the first place; he was nowhere to be seen. Finding it awkward to simply stare at Choi Seung-beom’s back, which was still blocking my way, I decided to sit on the sofa and rest for a moment.

At that, he, who had been standing like a stone statue, turned his body and looked at me. His sharp, deep eyes fixed on me with an unusually direct gaze.

Soon, his lips, forming a firm line, parted.

“You did well. Let’s keep it up like today.”

His gruff encouragement was unexpectedly rather kind.

‘Would Kwon Yohan have been happy to hear such words?’ Unfortunately, I couldn’t agree with him. I had only acted out of a desire to avoid creating a sudden void on stage, and I fully intended to find a way out of this bizarre situation once today’s schedule concluded.

‘After all, I might return to my own body tomorrow. This whole moment might even be a dream.’ Instead of answering, I offered an awkward smile and sank deeper into the sofa.

“Huh.”

However, something felt off.

The sofa was quite plush, true. But should my body be sinking so deeply into it? I didn’t recall it being like this before.

The moment I tried to adjust my position, my vision blurred white, and my breath caught in my throat.

“H-huh…”

A sudden constriction in my chest was accompanied by rapid, shallow breaths. It felt as if someone were wringing my lungs like a wet cloth. I wouldn’t have been surprised if I had gasped my last breath right then.

A rattling sound escaped my throat, punctuated by a series of small coughs.

“…Kwon Yohan? What’s wrong with you?”

Unsure when I had slipped from the sofa, I found myself slumped on the floor. My hands, barely supporting my forward-leaning body, came into view. ‘What is this? Why am I like this?’ Even my heart, which had been thumping annoyingly all along, seemed to be sputtering.

In that bizarre moment, I found it absurd that I was concerned about the white dust clinging to my black pants. ‘What is this? What should I do? Why is this happening?’

“Someone… help me…”

With the dilated pupils of the man I had first met that very morning as my last image, I lost consciousness.

****

When I opened my eyes, it was the second time I’d seen this particular ceiling.

As I blinked my gritty eyes, which felt as though sand had been thrown into them, a man’s face abruptly loomed close. The owner of the imposing figure was Choi Seung-beom.

My mind felt foggy, and my throat was as parched and rough as my eyes. I instinctively pushed myself up and mumbled,

“Water…”

As if he had been waiting, Choi Seung-beom brought a water bottle with a straw already inserted and held it to my lips. After begrudgingly taking a few sips, I felt a tiny sliver of my consciousness returning.

There was so much I wanted to ask: what happened during the ending performance, how I got back to the dorm, if I had been to the hospital, and why my body had suddenly reacted that way. But unable to prioritize my questions, a foolish one escaped my lips.

“This is the dorm, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, we came straight here.”

Unfortunately, the person I was speaking to wasn’t exactly the type who enjoyed explaining things. Still, at least I understood that we hadn’t gone to the hospital.

“Will you be okay for tomorrow’s schedule?”

He asked, quite cautiously.

‘Tomorrow. Right, tomorrow.’ Normally, it would be Red Moon’s final stage. If my own body didn’t wake up tomorrow, and I opened my eyes as Kwon Yohan again… what would the kids do?

‘Would they go on with the performance without me?’

Though I dreaded confirming it, a sense of obligation to do so began to sprout within me.

“I’ll be fine.”

He stared at me for a long moment, his face etched with suspicion. I blinked innocently. Whether my act had convinced him, Choi Seung-beom ran a hand through the back of his hair and stood up.

“…Alright. Get some good rest.”

The door opened, then closed, and a profound silence descended.

The schedule during a comeback week is relentless, especially for a popular group like HEX. There would likely be a pre-recording tomorrow, meaning I’d have to wake up at dawn and head to the broadcasting station.

‘It’s better to deal with complex thoughts during breaks. If I just agonize over this all night, tomorrow will be hell. Right. First, I’ll wash up. Then I’ll sleep.’

Clearing my mind, I rose from the bed.

“Wow, what kind of bedroom has an attached dressing room?”

Marveling anew at the ridiculously luxurious dorm layout, I headed to the bathroom. Standing before the sink, a colossal mirror reflected my image—or, to be precise, Kwon Yohan’s image.

Someone must have washed him before putting him to bed, as his makeup-free face was spotless. He was still dressed in the pajamas I had worn out that morning. The clothes Choi Seung-beom had prepared earlier that day had, in essence, become useless.

‘A quick, light shower should suffice.’ Just as I thought this indifferently and prepared to leave the mirror, Kwon Yohan on the other side of the mirror opened his mouth.

I hadn’t moved.

–…Senior?

He even spoke to me.

“…Huh?”

–It’s Senior, right? It really is Senior!

The figure in the mirror pressed closer. Or rather, it seemed to.

It was a scene straight out of a horror movie. Though a shiver momentarily ran down my spine, the other party’s demeanor was so harmless and desperate that the pristine white tiles and soft lighting of the luxurious bathroom mitigated any potential sense of urgency.

‘After all, don’t ghosts typically appear in dirty, dark, and gloomy environments?’

–I don’t know how to make such a chic expression. Don’t even try to hide it, Senior.

‘Is this really the same kid I met on the rooftop?’ I unconsciously sighed, then roughly swept a hand through my hair, meeting the gaze of the boy beyond the mirror.

“You startled me.”

At my delayed reaction, Kwon Yohan burst into cheerful laughter.

–See? It’s chic, isn’t it?

I stared, my eyes wide, my lips pressed tightly together for a moment. So many questions flooded my mind that I couldn’t discern which to ask first. It seemed I was experiencing this situation far too often today. As the silence stretched, Kwon Yohan mimed knocking on a door from beyond the mirror, trying to get my attention.

“…Alright, first, do you know what happened?”

Kwon Yohan tilted his head slightly, then shook it from side to side.

–No. I was just stuck in here all day. I thought I had died.

His nonchalant expression, speaking so casually of death, bothered me. While it wasn’t enough to scold him, a lingering, uncomfortable stain settled in a corner of my chest, like a splinter.

–Oh, so Senior must have done the variety show filming today, right? And tomorrow’s a music broadcast… Let’s just escape the dorm right now and go into hiding. How could I suddenly do that?

‘Go into hiding.’ Those two words ignited a spark in my parched heart.

“Hiding?”

Forgetting for a moment that I was dealing with a mere child, a raw, chilling voice escaped me. Kwon Yohan’s face, which had been excitedly chattering away, instantly froze. The sight of him nervously glancing around with a frightened expression was quite amusing.

Though I yearned to scold him about his lack of responsibility, lecturing someone who already knew they were in the wrong was a waste of time.

“Let’s put that aside for now and confirm one thing. What day is it today?”

Kwon Yohan counted on his fingers, trying to gauge the date, then replied,

–The tenth.

“Wrong. It’s the eighth.”

–Huh?

“Your comeback stage was today. It’s the day before you and I fell from that damn rooftop.”

Only now did the other party begin to show confusion. His expression shifted from bewilderment to deep contemplation, then settled into a resigned look as if he’d reached a conclusion, before he lifted his head with a bright, innocent face, pretending nothing was amiss.

He probably thought he was being perfectly deceptive, but his true feelings were painfully obvious.

“Somehow, I managed to finish it well. Tomorrow is the real problem, but for today…”

–Since you already missed the first day, why don’t you just skip this whole promotion period?

“What are you talking about? Skip what?”

–Oh, really? Then what did you do?

Swallowing a sigh, I replied,

“I finished it safely. More perfectly than you ever could have.”

–Well, of course. You’d be hard-pressed to find someone further from the word ‘perfect’ than me.

Kwon Yohan theatrically cupped his chin between his thumb and forefinger, striking a thoughtful pose. “Hmm. Hmmm.” The drawn-out sounds were an added flourish. Then, with a sudden clap, he abruptly thrust his face forward again.

–Since things have turned out this way, why don’t you just live as Kwon Yohan, Senior?

His utterly flippant tone left me dumbfounded.

“…What?”

Unable to see my own undoubtedly contorted expression in the mirror, the boy appeared ecstatic, as if he had just discovered a brilliant solution.

–It’s not like you want to quit being an idol, is it? Think about it. If you live as Kwon Yohan, you could continue to receive the kind of spotlight you got today, couldn’t you? What do you mean, ‘the same’? You could get even more. We already have solo concerts and an overseas tour scheduled.

*Thump-thump.* My heart, which had finally calmed, began to pound fiercely once more. Though the comparison was childish and exaggerated, Kwon Yohan’s words held a magic akin to the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge or Snow White’s poisoned apple. It was a power that compelled me to reach out, even knowing full well it wasn’t a desirable choice.

‘I want it. Just once, I want to feel that immense fervor.’

That was the voice of emotion. Fortunately or unfortunately, the reason, forged over a long period of resignation and endurance, was too robust to allow me to thoughtlessly nod my head. I didn’t forget the question I needed to resolve and presented it to the boy.

“Then what about you?”

My eyes met his light brown ones.

“Are you okay with never returning?”

The boy smiled innocently.

–Yes. Truly.

‘That can’t be true. Why don’t you rethink that?’ I already knew he was clumsily pretending to be cheerful from the start. I had a mountain of things I wanted to say, but Kwon Yohan didn’t give me a chance, chattering on at will.

–But you somehow managed to finish it well, didn’t you? Even without taking the medicine. If you open the second built-in closet, on the bottom-left drawer, there’ll be medicine pre-portioned for each day. Make sure to take one dose every morning and evening… And if anything happens, contact the number saved as ‘Secretary Choi’ on your phone. They’ll answer even in the middle of the night. Oh, and about going to the hospital, tell the members…

Kwon Yohan, who had been chattering away diligently, froze for a moment as if a pause button had been pressed.

–Well, it probably doesn’t matter. Do as you please. Whether you reveal it or not.

To me, it sounded like he was begging me to keep it a secret.