The Night Without a Moon

Yi-seol clasped his hands together on the table.

Left alone, he had no way to hide his tangled feelings, and sighs kept escaping him.

The candle flames, lit to push back the darkness, merged with the image of the Emperor he had seen in the great hall.

The Emperor—who glittered all over in gold except for his black hair—was even more dazzling than when Yi-seol had last seen him in Yeon.

The court ladies were right: the Son of Heaven was the incarnation of the sun, his beauty so profound that speaking of it would be blasphemy.

The Emperor’s handsome features needed no discussion.

And yet, the Emperor did not seem to be waiting for Yi-seol’s entry into the palace. When he finished issuing the edict, as if it were just one of his daily tasks, the Emperor’s attention had completely drifted away from Yi-seol. He did not even spare a glance when Yi-seol announced his leave.

As Yi-seol exited the great hall feeling somewhat dispirited, he heard a remark. Amidst the whispers about him, he caught those words—perhaps it was inevitable.

“He even brought the Jinggeumsu for His Majesty, yet all he got was Bi-eun Palace and a consort’s edict. Truly fitting for his lot.”

He hadn’t meant to stop walking at that mockingly pitying comment. But in that instant, his mind cleared as he realized his own situation.

He was not a stunning beauty, nor did he have a powerful backing to bolster the Emperor’s authority. He was not brilliant enough to assist the Emperor, and above all, as a man, he could not bear the Emperor’s child—a fundamental duty of a consort. If the Emperor had not taken his name, he would never have met the Emperor in his entire life.

Yeon’s royalty could not leave the kingdom freely after the age of fifteen. It was one of the strictest laws in Yeon, where even royals lived relatively freely.

And yet, someone so lacking had become the consort of the Emperor of Geum. Hoping for the Emperor’s favor seemed even more unreasonable.

So, in the palanquin heading to Bi-eun Palace, Yi-seol thought:

Tonight, the Emperor would not come to him.

“Your Grace, I shall bring the honeyed wine for the wedding cup.”

“Yes.”

Lady Ju entered carrying a tray with a wine bottle and two cups. She placed the bottle in the center of the table, one cup before Yi-seol, and the other on the empty seat opposite. As Lady Ju set down the cup, she told him to speak informally, just as the court lady had earlier, but Yi-seol only smiled. Strangely, he found it harder to speak informally to Lady Ju.

“Is there anything you need?”

“I am fine. How far along is the cleaning?”

“It is still in full swing, but the path for His Majesty has been cleared.”

“It’s not as if everything needs to be finished tonight, is it? The day is dark, and everyone must be tired. Let them rest.”

“I will only finish organizing the bath chamber for Your Grace’s use tomorrow morning.”

Did Lady Ju believe the Emperor would come to him tonight? Yi-seol wondered briefly, but he could not bring himself to ask. Even if she thought otherwise, she would lie to him.

“Your Grace, your headpiece has become loose.”

“Ah, sorry.”

He must have touched the hairpin again without thinking. As she fixed the crooked hairpin and adjusted the wig, Lady Ju let out a small sigh. She, who was no less tired than anyone else, had supported Yi-seol without ever frowning, even when others looked disheartened. Suddenly, he felt grateful.

“Lady Ju.”

“Yes, Your Grace.”

“Thank you.”

“…For what?”

“Just for everything.”

Lady Ju stared blankly at Yi-seol, who smiled radiantly despite his tired face, then bowed her head, saying he was too gracious. She turned to the bed and rearranged the cushions before returning.

“I shall take my leave now. After the first watch, no one but His Majesty may enter here.”

“…….”

“I will return early in the morning. Until then, no one will enter this chamber, so please rest assured.”

Unlike usual, Lady Ju looked straight into Yi-seol’s eyes as if making a promise, then left the bedchamber. Puzzled by her steady gaze, he reached for his wig out of habit—only to notice something odd. The small pins that firmly secured the wig to his head were all loose. It seemed he could easily lift the wig off if he wished.

Lady Ju had drilled into him the palace law that a consort’s wig must be removed by the Emperor on the wedding night. Had she deliberately loosened the pins so Yi-seol could remove it himself? Or had she done it to make it easier for the Emperor to take it off? If it was for Yi-seol, did that mean she already expected the Emperor not to come tonight?

The warmth of the heated wine bottle was just right. Perhaps it was fortunate to have alcohol for the long night ahead, but he had no desire to drink alone, even if the Emperor didn’t come. The two cups set side by side looked both lovely and lonely.

After the first watch, the Emperor would certainly not come. Whether he knew or not, the night continued to deepen.

Yi-seol sat quietly until the moon outside the window finally sank out of sight.

****

Lady Ju walked down the corridor, which had been swept and scrubbed all yesterday afternoon so that it now looked somewhat livable. Her face was still tired. Unlike the court ladies who took turns sleeping, she had not slept a wink all night, guarding the palace. As soon as the rooster crowed at dawn, she went to Yi-seol’s chamber. Sensing no movement beyond the door, she assumed Yi-seol was still asleep. She carefully opened the door without announcing herself—and started.

“Your Grace…?”

Yi-seol, whom she had naturally expected to be asleep on the bed, was sitting exactly as she had seen him last night when leaving the chamber. Not to mention the wig with hairpins still in place, even the cushions on the bed remained undisturbed, just as they had been the night before.

“Your Grace, have you sat here all night without sleeping?”

“It seems so.”

Yi-seol spoke of himself as if reporting someone else’s news, his face as weary as Lady Ju’s. His fair complexion had lost all color overnight, turning pale, and his answering voice was feeble and cracked.

Lady Ju checked outside, closed the door, and examined the wine bottle she had left. The wine seemed untouched, not a single drop less than last night.

“You didn’t need to come so early.”

“I entered without notice, thinking you were still asleep. I apologize.”

“It’s fine. Rather, Lady Ju, I have a favor to ask…”

“Please speak.”

“Could you take down my wig?”

“…….”

“What’s wrong? Surely I don’t have to keep wearing this until His Majesty removes it?”

Yi-seol asked with a pale face. Despite the obvious jest, Lady Ju did not smile. She stood behind Yi-seol. The pins she had loosened yesterday were still in place. As she lifted the wig, Yi-seol’s own hair fell down. Even though it had been pressed under the wig all day, it dropped softly like thin silver threads, reminding her that Yi-seol was indeed not from Geum.

Yi-seol sighed in relief at the lightness after the wig was removed and brushed back his flowing hair. His own hair, which had been a problem because it differed from the wig’s color, felt unfamiliar. Having left Yeon and seen only black hair every day, he had grown accustomed to it.

“If the bath chamber is cleaned, I’d like to bathe. Is there anything else I must do?”

“All duties of the wedding night are complete. Shall I prepare breakfast after your bath?”

“I’m not really hungry…”

“You skipped meals all day yesterday. If your stomach is unsettled, I’ll order a thin porridge.”

“Yes, that sounds good.”

Lady Ju left to heat water for the bath. Left alone again, Yi-seol shook his now lighter head from side to side and stretched. After moving his stiff body this way and that, he rose from the chair, and the accumulated fatigue of the night rushed in. The bed with fresh cushions seemed to beckon him to lie down. He considered resting for a moment, but decided bathing came first and held on.

On the way to the bath chamber, he met Ki-yeon, who was carrying out lumber stacked in an empty room. Ki-yeon seemed to know that the Emperor had not visited last night but said nothing about it, only worrying about Yi-seol’s complexion. After entrusting Ki-yeon with a matter he had pondered all night, Yi-seol headed to the bath.

He firmly refused the court ladies who offered to assist him in bathing, undressed alone, and entered the tub. The clothing was different from Yeon’s, and since it was his first time wearing such garments, he struggled to disrobe, but it was much better than showing his naked body to the court ladies.

Only after his body relaxed in the warmth did his mind clear. Compared to the dawn when unanswered worries and anxieties had lingered, he now felt like himself again. During the long night when the Emperor had not come, his inexplicably lonely heart had been washed away, and his mood improved considerably.

After the bath, Yi-seol broke into a sweat trying to dress again. When he finally managed to put on his clothes and emerged from the bath chamber, the two court ladies waiting outside burst into quiet laughter.

“Your Grace, you are wearing your robe backwards.”

“Ah… This is my first time wearing these clothes…”

At Yi-seol’s words, the court ladies laughed even more mischievously.

“The clothes you are wearing, Your Grace, are exactly what the men of our Geum wear. They are not women’s garments.”

“Men wear such ornate clothes?”

“Many nobles wear even more splendid clothes. We intended to prepare those for you, but Ki-yeon-nim, who was by your side, insisted against it, so we chose the most modest ones.”

“There are many clothes with pretty colors. Shall we bring them to your chamber?”

“Ah, no, it’s fine. But are you sure this is really men’s clothing?”

“Yes, of course. You can go to Dongbo Gate and see for yourself whether I speak truth or falsehood.”

Hearing the court lady’s prim answer, Yi-seol checked his sleeves again. Embroidered with flowers and butterflies, he thought they could not possibly be men’s attire, and he hastily took off the robe, turned it around, and put it back on.

In the chamber, Lady Ju had prepared thin porridge and was waiting. He truly had no appetite, but perhaps his lack of energy was due to skipping meals, and he didn’t feel like arguing with Lady Ju, so he picked up the spoon and pretended to eat. He had not had a proper meal since arriving in Geum. The food was stronger in scent and more stimulating in flavor than what he was used to, and there were many meat dishes, so his appetite had not returned. As a result, only the court ladies who ate the leftover meat dishes were delighted.

After barely eating half, he decided it was enough to show face and put down the spoon. He looked at Lady Ju standing beside him, and she answered, “Yes, Your Grace.” He now knew that despite her stern and brusque appearance, she was a good person.

“Lady Ju, how did you come to serve me? Did you volunteer, or were you assigned?”

“……I was assigned.”

“Then it’s even more fortunate.”

Yi-seol seemed relieved, as if satisfied with Lady Ju’s answer, which she had hesitated to give honestly. Instead of asking why he wanted to know, Lady Ju silently waited for his next words. Yi-seol smiled calmly and continued.

“If you wish, Lady Ju, you may return to your original post.”