A Night of Realizations

When I got home that evening, I flopped onto the bed, sprawling out in a most unladylike manner. What a tiring day! Ling Chen had already gone to shower, so I pulled out my phone, intending to finish my daily tasks, but the thought of missing the game’s limited-time event made me toss the phone aside in frustration. To be honest, I’ve grown a bit tired of these games that consume so much of my time, turning me into an unpopular otaku. This is my genuine feeling, with no hint of “true fragrance.”

Consider this: current games lack any resale value. I’ve spent thousands, sometimes even tens of thousands, and when I quit, I can only sell my account at a low price, unable to even recoup the cost. You might argue with certain games, but the truth is, I don’t play those.

Moreover, game companies aim to maximize profits, finding every way to drain your wallet. They use sign-in rewards to boost user retention, hold regular events to maintain hype, and eventually hook users into addiction. But in the end, I find myself mindlessly grinding, losing all enthusiasm for the game. What was once an enjoyable experience has become a repetitive chore, yielding only items that can sometimes be bought with real money.

The best way to destroy one’s passion for something is to turn it into work.

Looking back, the number of frustrating experiences I’ve had in games far outweighs the moments of joy. I only remember the fleeting, rare instances of happiness, ignoring the majority of dull and painful moments. For example, when I play MOBA games and get matched with terrible teammates, or when I play hardcore games and get repeatedly beaten by bosses, or when my gacha pulls all fail—those frustrating experiences far outweigh the moments of achievement.

If the reward is gone, it’s better to just quit.

When you can’t find joy, it’s best to give up. If Yasuo loses his E skill, he can no longer be the cheerful Yasuo. Similarly, if I lose my passion for games, I can no longer enjoy the happiness they bring.

I lay on the bed, my mind going blank. Only now did I fully realize the evening’s events, and the exhilaration from the extreme fear gradually faded, leaving only an unfillable void. I discovered the world’s secret, but I didn’t feel happy or excited. I only felt that behind the already terrible surface of life, there was an even darker layer of truth.

I’m just an ordinary person; I’ve never wanted to shoulder any great responsibilities. As long as I don’t get in the way of the elites who save the world, I’m doing my best. But suddenly, I’m told about the existence of an Inner World, and I’m supposed to be its guardian? That’s like giving me an out-of-scope question.

How am I supposed to answer? What deflates me isn’t the world’s shocking truth, but the fact that such a truth needs someone like me to protect it.

I’m well aware of my inadequacies. I really want to tell that omniscient and omnipotent God to find someone else to save the world. But when I think about my progress with the goddess, I want to continue this somewhat unreal daily life.

After realizing the truth of life, I didn’t fall more in love with it; instead, I became more cynical, seeking liberation in nihilism.

I want to be sunny, handsome, outgoing, and popular, with a harem of admirers, but I can’t do it! You want to see me play dumb, act arrogant, and slap people in the face? Sorry, I can’t do that. You want me to reverse my life and reach the pinnacle? Sorry, I can’t do that either. So it’s normal—I’m just a pathetic character. Even if I’m wrapped in a pretty girl’s skin, I can’t hide my inner rottenness.

It’s all the fault of this masochistic author! At least make me an Assassin character; who would like a character with a dark, depressed personality like mine? (Strike that out)

Damn, it’s embarrassing to say, but I’ve never even held a girl’s hand in my life. It was only after becoming a girl that I held the goddess’s hand for the first time.

What a failure.

I didn’t play games, so I took a quick shower, feeling no excitement this time, only annoyed by the flab on my chest.

Ah, I’ve been assimilated; my masculine soul didn’t even react. Even if a completely naked beautiful girl were in front of me, I could remain unmoved and kindly offer her a robe, warning her that she might catch a cold.

*Emmmmm… Have I entered sage mode?*

I returned to bed, thinking for a long time but still unable to figure out why I suddenly became withdrawn. Finally, I decided to sleep and leave everything for tomorrow, but I tossed and turned in bed, unable to fall asleep.

Out of boredom, I opened the system to check my gains from last night.

“User Information:

Name: Ling Jiu

Gender: Female ♀

Identity: Probationary Apostle

Experience Points: 500 (Level 5)

Faith Points: 1100

Current Abilities: Lucky Moment, Body Enhancement (Basic), Spirit Vision

Combat Power: 100 (Evaluation: Standard adult combat power, equivalent to half a goose)

Status: Angel’s Blessing (Effect unknown), Female Transformation (Effect unknown), Soul Link (Effect unknown), Spiritual Sensitivity (You have a higher chance of encountering supernatural events).”

After completing this side quest, my personal information has undergone significant changes. First, my name and gender clearly indicate that I have completely transformed into Ling Jiu. *Has my mind been feminized as well?*

Setting aside my doubts, I continued to read. My experience and faith points have increased, with faith points rising significantly. Although I don’t know what level 1000 faith points represent, I’ll find out their value when the weekly store updates.

Upon reaching Level 5, I also gained a new skill: Spirit Vision. This is a passive skill that enhances my perception, allowing me to directly see supernatural entities in the Inner World.

I was also rewarded with a special status: Spiritual Sensitivity, which, as described, makes me more likely to encounter supernatural events…

“…”

*Is this supposed to be a reward? If I get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and encounter a ghost, I’ll pee myself, okay? Does seeing a beautiful girl wet herself excite people? Go to hell! I avoid supernatural things, and now you’re forcing them on me? You ask me how I lost? What can I do? I’m just as desperate as you! I’m scared of ghosts, and this system is probably messing with me.*

The future looks bleak. I should find out where I can get some reliable Taoist priests or monks to buy some exorcism talismans and cover every corner of my house with them. Then, I’ll go to a church to see if I can get some holy water or a blessed cross.

*If any little ghost dares to provoke me, I’ll supervise its reincarnation within three days, scattering its ashes to the wind… Everyone can ignore that last sentence.*

But the biggest gain of the night was probably that random skill book. I finally opened a somewhat reliable and useful skill—Body Enhancement (Basic). With it, I finally have a bit of combat power. Although the evaluation remains as sarcastic as ever.

Sigh, what does my future hold?

I checked the clock; it was 1 a.m. For someone like me, who’s a night owl champion, this is just the beginning of the night. But I heard that staying up late is bad for your skin. I thought about it and decided not to stay up. After all, I’m now a beautiful girl, and I should cherish the blessings heaven has given me.

It’s true that in this world, looks are everything. Talent is only a consolation. A talented beautiful girl is praised for her inner beauty. A talentless beautiful girl is asked for her WeChat. Reality is that harsh, so if you lack both talent and looks, why not work hard?

Here, drink this cup of poisoned chicken soup, and wish for a better life in your next one! 996 forever!

Ahhhhhh, still can’t sleep, feeling like something’s missing.

Oh, right! My waifu’s life-sized hugging pillow!

Before the goddess came, Ling Chen took it away. I don’t know if Ling Chen is asleep yet, but I’ll go check his room.