#51
*Burp!*
While Jeha struggled to divert his attention from Hereis, Kkamangi, having fully indulged in Jeha’s blood, let out a loud burp. Only then did Jeha snap back to reality, making the wound on his finger vanish. Kkamangi regretfully licked its snout clean with its tongue.
However, seemingly satisfied with its meal, Kkamangi stretched languidly before climbing onto a pillow on the bed and meticulously licking its front paws.
“I don’t think I should raise it too much like a cat…”
Jeha watched Kkamangi with a hint of concern.
Kkamangi was undeniably cute and lovable as a cat. Yet, Jeha bore the responsibility of raising it into a magnificent magic dragon. He couldn’t help but worry that if Kkamangi spent its infancy acting solely like a cat, it might lose its identity as a magic dragon.
“Do not worry too much. No living creature can truly defy its instincts.”
Hereis spoke, as if understanding Jeha’s apprehension. Jeha nodded, though he couldn’t bring himself to turn and meet Hereis’s gaze. He wasn’t emotionally prepared for that yet.
“…Shall we have some tea?”
Jeha hastily rose from his seat, subtly avoiding Hereis, who had been inching closer to him. He could feel Hereis’s gaze on his back as he walked towards the table.
“I shall brew it for you.”
Rising from his spot, Hereis moved to a table prepared with tea-making implements and began to steep the leaves.
An awkward, heavy silence descended upon the bedroom. Jeha felt as uncomfortable as if he were sitting on a cushion of needles. Yet, explaining himself to Hereis seemed impossible, leaving him in a truly difficult predicament.
*Clink.*
As Jeha fidgeted, Hereis, having finished brewing the tea, placed a teacup before him and settled into the opposite chair. Hereis’s eyelashes were lowered as he silently lifted the cup to his lips. He appeared as composed as ever, yet the palpable weight of his mood was undeniable.
Amidst the quiet, the soft sips of tea echoed through the tranquil bedroom. Jeha wished Kkamangi would rush over, purring or meowing, to break the awkwardness. A glance, however, revealed Kkamangi curled up, peacefully asleep on the pillow.
Jeha continued to sip his tea, pondering how to navigate this uncomfortable situation. No clever solution came to mind.
“Well…”
“Perhaps…”
Both broke the silence almost simultaneously, then closed their mouths again as if by prior agreement.
‘I really should use a separate bedroom tonight,’ Jeha thought inwardly, his fingers idly tracing the teacup handle. He was about to speak again when Hereis preempted him.
“I have often imagined what it would feel like to be forsaken and abandoned by God.”
“……”
“I always thought it would feel like liberation.”
“Hereis…”
“Yet, merely feeling rejected by you, my Lord Jeha, for a moment, fills me with such powerlessness.”
Hereis’s tone was calm, but his words carried a profound gravity.
“Hereis, that’s not what I meant…”
“It is alright.”
“……”
“Even if you turn away from me, I simply will not let go of you. Just tell me why you wish to turn away. If I know the reason, I will amend it immediately.”
Hereis’s eyes, fixed upon Jeha, seemed tinged with a peculiar sorrow. Jeha ran a hand over his face and let out a deep sigh. He rose from his seat, approached Hereis, and enveloped his head in a tight embrace.
“It’s not like that. I just had… something to think about for a moment.”
As Jeha offered his comfort, Hereis gripped the arms around him with a painful intensity, exhaling a shallow breath. Then, burying his face in Jeha’s arm, he whispered.
“Please, do not abandon me.”
****
“Please, do not abandon me.”
Hereis whispered desperately, pressing his lips against Bellarossa’s without hesitation. He felt Bellarossa’s body stiffen, a reaction entirely absent in the past few days. His heart surged with urgency. A profound sense of powerlessness mixed with an intense possessiveness welled within him. Engulfed by emotions he had never experienced, his head grew hot.
“My Lord Jeha…”
Hereis clung to Bellarossa’s waist, embracing him tightly. Even the briefest sensation of Bellarossa recoiling from him had driven him to this state. The fear of losing him, the sorrow of being momentarily ignored, and the helplessness of having no recourse if Bellarossa abandoned him, enveloped his entire being. The brutal reality that he could only cling to him struck Hereis like a physical blow.
He had never felt this way, even during the time when God was his everything. Even if God had withdrawn his love and favor, Hereis would not have felt such a sense of loss. But Bellarossa was different. He was Hereis’s new god and savior, yet simultaneously an object of intense possessiveness. His mind, consumed by the thought of not losing him, grew desperate.
“Hereis, that’s not it. It’s not like that at all; I just had something to think about. It has nothing to do with you.”
“If it concerns you, it concerns me. For you are my everything.”
Bellarossa—no, Jeha—said nothing, merely patting Hereis’s back and shoulder.
Hereis did not expect Jeha to understand all his feelings. It was simply crucial that Jeha not turn away from him. He yearned to become as important to Jeha as he had been these past few days, or even more so. Just as Jeha was his everything, he longed to become Jeha’s everything in return.
Even if their time together these past few days had merely been a game to Jeha, it didn’t matter. Hereis would simply ensure it ceased to be a mere game. Given enough time, he was confident he could achieve that.
“Will you not abandon me?”
Hereis lifted his head, looking up at Jeha, who was busy trying to soothe him, and asked with desperate yearning. Jeha wore a subtle expression, a mix of pity and awkwardness. That very human-like demeanor, more human than any human, only intensified Hereis’s anxiety.
“I won’t abandon you. How could I? Hereis, everything about you is already mine. I never abandon what’s mine. Believe it or not, I’m quite possessive.”
Jeha said, caressing Hereis’s cheek. Every single one of his words was salvation to Hereis.
“Then possess me. Make me yours forever, My Lord Jeha.”
Hereis whispered, his eyes burning with intense emotion as he gazed at Jeha. A hot, fierce passion and possessiveness, which he hadn’t known existed within him, surged. He didn’t want to be ignored by Jeha for even a moment. He wanted to make Jeha see only him. He wanted to be Jeha’s everything. He wanted to possess all of Jeha. How could such feelings be directed at his new god?
Hereis pulled Jeha by the neck and kissed him without restraint.
The kiss quickly escalated into a fervent embrace. Showering Jeha with an utterly wanton kiss, Hereis savored the fruits of human’s uncontrollable lust, desire, and corruption. In this moment, all anger towards God and the temple vanished completely from his mind. Only the enjoyment of the person—no, the being—before him mattered. If the sweetness he felt at this moment was corruption, then all humanity deserved to fall.
“…reis, Hereis!”
Jeha pushed Hereis’s chest forcefully. When their lips parted, an unbearable emptiness filled Hereis’s heart. The fact that he had been rejected struck him with a painful blow.
“Just calm down for a moment, okay?”
Jeha gently soothed Hereis, brushing back his disheveled hair. That alone was enough to quell the terrifying emptiness that had assailed Hereis.
Once Hereis had calmed slightly, Jeha let out a soft sigh. Even that single sigh made Hereis’s heart plummet.
“My Lord Jeha.”
“Hereis.”
Jeha cut off Hereis’s words with a slightly firm tone. Then, he turned slightly and sat down on Hereis’s thigh. As their bodies naturally pressed together in intimacy, the anxiety miraculously faded.
He was unaccustomed to emotions that surged with every small sigh, every subtle movement. Hereis rested his forehead on Jeha’s shoulder, composing himself. It was fine to fall, fine for his emotions to surge. But he must not become distant from Jeha or lose him because of it.
“I was lost in thought for a moment because… I was thinking about things happening in my domain. So, um… it’s not entirely unrelated to us, but… um… ha… it’s a bit hard to explain…”
Jeha scratched his head, unable to hide his awkwardness.
“Anyway, don’t overthink things. I don’t know what you’re imagining, but it’s not like that.”
Though his words were vague, it was clear he had no intention of turning away from Hereis. A wave of relief washed over Hereis.
“May I… hold you like this for a moment?”
Hereis asked, tightly embracing Jeha’s back as Jeha sat on his thigh. Jeha reciprocated the hug, as if granting permission.
Hereis reveled in the sensation of the small body held tightly within his embrace, as if trapped. And he thought, just as Jeha was now captured within his arms, he wanted to make him his own.