Killer Queen Has Already Touched This Heart of Shame

The keywords “Kiriko” and “Snow White’s dress” registered in the ears of every student in the class. Like startled, starving ghouls, they all widened their eyes and slowly turned to look at me. Their gazes were so covetous, as if they couldn’t wait to witness my magnificent appearance in a long dress. 

Could this be the legendary Teigu, [Demon’s Extract: Covetous Eyes]?!

“Uh… okay.” The moment I agreed, Exusiai asked the question on everyone’s mind in her cheerful voice, “Can I come too?”

Noticing the unanimous covetous gazes from both the boys and girls in the class, I thought to myself that if I really put on that wedding-gown-like Snow White dress in front of this pack, I’d probably get… on the spot…

Oh, sorry, I forgot I don’t have that function.

But in any case, if I were really stared at by so many people at once, my sense of shame would undoubtedly explode with a bang.

#Killer Queen has already touched this heart of shame!#

So I opened my mouth to refuse, but Exusiai, as if she were prepared, winked at me with the blood-red dragon eye not covered by her bangs and asked me a simple question, “A one-piece Snow White dress, do you even know how to put it on by yourself?”

Her words had a certain indescribable magic, like DIO’s “The World!!”, freezing me on the spot.

That’s right. A tough guy like me, of course, wouldn’t know how to put on a Snow White dress. If it were just me and Rei, she would inevitably be the one to help me. And in this world, altered by a flick of System-Hime’s hip, Rei thought I was a girl, and I really did live in the girls’ dorm. If she helped me put on the dress, even if I were a pro gamer who could snipe with an 8x scope without holding my breath, she would definitely notice something was off.

If that happened, wouldn’t my image in her mind become that of a scoundrel who used the fact that he was a trap to sneak into the girls’ dorm for free meals?

So why free meals? There’s nothing for me to munch on!

…No, wait, I haven’t tried, so how do I know for sure there’s nothing?!

In the spirit of rigorous scientific experimentation, I was considering whether I should find a carpet, but out loud, I helplessly agreed to Exusiai’s wish to come along, emphasizing, “Only Exusiai can come with me… and Rei. No one else!”

Exusiai’s role was to be a tool to help me put on the dress, to avoid leaving a bad impression of an opportunistic creep in Rei’s mind.

The moment I said this, the other students in the classroom instantly showed their disappointment. The eyes of many boys revealed an unyielding spirit of “So what if it’s a Snow White dress? I’ll go back to my dorm and buy one to wear myself!”, true role models for the modern man.

Only Saber, the one full of bad ideas, had her verdant, forest-lake-like eyes light up as if a bright sunbeam had passed through them. She turned her head to Yukino at a neck-breaking speed and asked, “Yukino, the Queen’s long dress, do you know how to put it on by yourself?”

This was truly a case of Emperor Saber’s lust being known to the whole class. Yukino was so angry she rolled her eyes several times, looking as if she were about to pass out from shock. Then, the elegant snow woman said to Saber in a tone that left no room for argument, “First, I don’t need to wear the Queen’s dress today. Second, I know how to wear that kind of dress. And finally, even if I didn’t, you do?!”

Saber, as expected of our dorm’s Big Bro, was not to be stumped by such a small problem. She puffed out her chest, her expression firm and her voice heroic, reciting the words often used by recent graduates in job interviews, “Although I don’t know how right now, I can learn. I’m a very fast learner!”

“Please take your resume and leave our company immediately!!” Interviewer Yukino was very strict.

Seeing the argument break out, Rei quickly wrung her small hands and explained with her big, cute eyes, “Um… we have the Snow White costume from the start, but the costumes for the other characters still need time to be prepared. So today, we can only try on that one. Sorry about that~”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Yukino waved her hands. “We were just joking, you don’t have to take it seriously.”

“Oh, okay,” Rei tilted her small head with a smile, her ponytails falling to the side. She sighed. “You guys are really close~”

Saber proudly crossed her arms, with the expression of the Knight-King after a great victory. “Extremely close!”

Yukino sighed and buried her face in her hand. “I really don’t want to admit I’m close with you.”

Amidst our laughter, the covetous gazes of our classmates, and the notification sounds from many boys’ phones saying, “Your Snow White dress has been ordered,” Rei led me and Exusiai out of the classroom.

After a full afternoon of classes, it was already approaching evening. A line of orange-red was slowly bleeding into the edge of the sky. The youthful energy and clamor of the campus were unmatched by any other place. At our school, you could see all sorts of strange people and sights. 

For example, right now, by the side of the road, two boys were holding tree branches, one playing a Sword Saint and the other a Shinobi who could die twice, clashing together. The moment they separated, the one playing the Sword Saint suddenly pulled out a replica submachine gun from his pants and fired a volley of BB pellets at the Shinobi. It turned out this person was actually a remnant of the banned airsoft club.

Rei was always lively, hopping ahead of us like a little rabbit, her two ponytails swinging, and the contents of her chest bouncing along, as if she were Little Red Riding Hood with two big grey wolf heads she had picked from the forest in her basket.

Rei was very pretty and cute, the type who might be harassed by a strange uncle on the bus, or hit on by a young mother with a child in a fast-food restaurant.

#Ma’am, have you turned gay, ma’am?!#

Rei was already eye-catching, but the red-haired Exusiai and I, with my waterfall of black hair swaying in the breeze, added another layer of brilliance to our trio. Wherever we went, many boys and even girls wanted to come up and talk to us, but were too shy to do so. So they would try to get their friends to be the guinea pigs, pushing them towards us. The friends, naturally unwilling, would start fighting, and wherever we passed, a full-on martial arts brawl would break out, turning the school into a martial arts tournament, just as the old saying goes, where there are people, there is conflict.

As Rei hopped along, she said to us in her sweet voice, “The Snow White dress is in the dance studio. There’s no one there right now, so we can just try it on there~”