The Advantage is Mine!

“Wha—?”

Ewan froze, feeling as if he had just been struck by a bolt of lightning from a clear blue sky. “Big brother, what did you just say?”

“I said, I’m after your ass!”

As if afraid Ewan hadn’t heard him clearly, the scarred man raised his voice, the sound so powerful it shook the leaves from the nearby trees.

I know you said you’re after my ass, but the problem is…

“I’m a man!”

Ewan slapped his own well-defined pectoral muscles, his voice laced with a desperate, rising panic. “Big brother, look closely! Don’t let my outstanding, otherworldly beauty deceive you! I am a man! A hundred percent, grade-A man!”

“Mm. I can see that.” The scarred man’s gaze drifted down to Ewan’s crotch with a connoisseur’s eye, and then he flashed a wicked, predatory grin. “It’s precisely because you’re a man that I’m after you. Otherwise, you can ask the little lady behind you. Did I show even a flicker of interest in her body at all?”

“…” Ewan’s neck creaked like a rusty hinge as he stiffly turned his head.

The young woman, who had just been looking so fierce and defiant, now didn’t know what kind of expression to make. After a moment of profound hesitation, she averted her gaze, unable to meet his pleading, desperate eyes.

And then, she slowly, silently, and with great finality, nodded.

Now that I think about it, these bandits really haven’t looked at me with lecherous eyes at all.

“…” Seeing this, Ewan felt something fundamental inside him crack.

Help me! There’s a… gay man here! And he’s coming on to me!

“Hmph. This must be fate.” The scarred man’s rugged face flushed a delicate, maidenly pink, his expression turning wistful as he became lost in a deep, profound memory.

“Ever since I became a bandit, I have dreamed of this very day. That one day, in the desolate, untamed wilderness, I would meet a beautiful young man, brave enough to release his true nature and show his glorious self to the world.”

“And ideally,” he added, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, “he would be a true pervert.”

“Unfortunately, in this world, men like this, men who have shed all pretense and embraced their true, authentic selves, are far too rare. I had almost given up hope.”

“But then,” he declared, his voice thick with emotion, “I met you!”

The scarred man’s eyes welled up with genuine tears as he said with a deep, heartfelt passion, “To dare to show yourself to strangers, without a single shred of fear… you are truly a magnificent, breathtaking pervert! And so, I am certain. You are the one I have been waiting for all my life!”

He held out a rough, calloused hand, his voice ringing with conviction. “So, come with me! I will ride a seven-colored cloud to marry you! Be my bandit bride!”

Ewan: “…”

The young woman: “…”

Bandit D: “Sniffle… to work so hard robbing people to support his family, while never, ever forgetting to chase his dreams… as expected of the boss! I’m so moved, I’m crying! Waaah…”

“Hmph. It seems he’s just shy.”

Looking at the completely, utterly petrified Ewan, the scarred man wiped his nose with a finger, a smug, self-satisfied look on his face. “It seems my legendary charms have not diminished in the slightest.”

“…”

“I’ll diminish your mother—”

After a brief, stunned, and very awkward silence, Ewan’s face twisted in a ferocious snarl, and he exploded into action.

“Shadow Step!“

“Die, you damn pervert!”

He closed the distance in a literal instant and delivered a beautiful, textbook-perfect uppercut that connected squarely with the scarred man’s jaw. After breaking through to the second rank and gaining battle aura, Ewan’s physical abilities were on a completely different, monstrous level. And so, with that one, single punch, the scarred man, who was several sizes larger than him, was sent flying over ten meters, crashing through several thick trees before finally, mercifully, coming to a stop.

“Huh? I’m this strong?”

Ewan himself was a little surprised by his own newfound, explosive power. But his expression quickly turned arrogant, and he placed his hands on his hips, striking a triumphant pose. “You see how strong I am now, you damn pervert?! How dare you call me a pervert! You’re the pervert! Your whole family are perverts!”

“Boss!”

Seeing their leader sent flying, the other bandits rushed over in a panic.

“Cough, cough. I’m fine.” The scarred man pushed away his worried underlings, got to his feet, and spat out a bloody tooth, a carefree, almost ecstatic smile on his face. “As expected of my future bandit bride. You’ve got some spirit. But a little wildness just makes it more exciting! Hahaha…”

“Damn it…”

A profound, soul-deep chill ran down Ewan’s spine. How could he have run into a pervert of this caliber just by chance? How much did the universe truly, deeply hate him? Couldn’t it have just sent a cute, gentle, and beautiful girl falling from the sky instead?

“Since my dear wife wants to play, then I’ll play with you.”

The scarred man laughed and raised his massive blade.

And then… he swung it down with immense, terrifying force.

From that far away?

Ewan’s pupils shrank. Alarms blared in his mind. Without a moment’s hesitation, he twisted his body to the side.

A blade of pure, concentrated energy, several meters long and as wide as a man’s arm, sliced through the very spot where he had just been standing, carving a deep gash in the earth.

Ewan’s hair stood on end.

Was that… a blade projection? No, this was the external release of battle aura. His opponent was also a second-rank warrior, and at least at the mid-to-late stage!

Damn it! If you’re this strong, why in the seven hells are you a common bandit?! You could do literally anything else and it would be a better, more profitable career path!

“Haha, I told you! I only became a bandit to wait for the man of my dreams!” the scarred man roared with laughter, leaping into the air like a giant, terrifying bear and then crashing down toward Ewan. “And look! My patience has been rewarded!”

“I told you, stay away from me, you damn pervert! I only like cute girls!”

“Shadow Step!“

Ewan dodged the attack again. But he knew he couldn’t keep this up. Even after breaking through to the second rank, the side effects of Shadow Step were much smaller, but he still couldn’t use it indefinitely. And in a battle of pure stamina, he probably couldn’t outlast this bear of a man. Once he ran out of energy, he would be completely at his mercy.

And then…

“My dear wife… just submit to me…”

“Hehe, you have nowhere to run now, my pretty.”

“Scream all you want. No one will come to save you.”

“Now, would you like to wear this black, lacy lingerie, or this cute little bunny girl outfit? I’m fine with either, you know.”

Aaaargh!

Why am I imagining this?! This is a scene straight from the deepest, darkest, most depraved depths of hell!

Get out of my head! Get out, get out, get out!

“No.” Ewan’s eyes were filled with a grim, desperate determination. “I would rather die than lose to you!”

Early-stage second rank versus late-stage second rank.

Bare-handed versus a massive, gleaming blade.

The advantage is mine!

“Gimme that!”

Ewan knew that a direct confrontation was suicide. So he used Shadow Step to flash in front of one of the gawking, useless bandits, knocked him out with a single, efficient punch, and snatched his weapon.

Now that he had a weapon, he finally felt a little more at ease… not!

I’ve never used a greatsword before in my entire life! How do you even use this thing?! Someone, please, teach me! Coach, I want to learn how to use a greatsword!

The scarred man, of course, had no intention of giving him time to get used to his new toy. The moment Ewan’s mind was filled with panicked, desperate cries, he charged forward, his attack as straightforward and brutal as ever—a simple, overhead slash.

But this time, a powerful, irresistible suction force suddenly emanated from his blade. Ewan felt as if he were being pulled in, and he couldn’t activate Shadow Step in time.

It’s over.

This is a martial art!

Ewan’s eyes widened, a sense of deep, profound regret in his heart. After breaking through to the second rank and being able to use Shadow Step almost at will, he had gotten… careless. Cocky. How could he have forgotten? If he could use a martial art, then of course, others could too!

“Damn it!”

Ewan gritted his teeth. With no other choice, he raised the heavy greatsword in his hands, barely managing to meet the scarred man’s attack. But how could his slender, pretty-boy arms possibly compete with the raw, brute power of this mountain of a man?

My life is over!

Ewan Campbell.

Once again, with a soul-crushing sense of déjà vu, he saw his own miserable, and this time, deeply humiliating, end.