Subtitle: Fang Chang: Why are you doing me? What did I do?
Hello everyone! My name is Fang Chang, and I am a friend of Qiweiya. As a deity, I have always fought on the front lines of the Void War, steadfast and unyielding, valiantly slaying foes to protect the world I depend on! My will is strong! I cannot be swayed by power nor corrupted by wealth! Ahem, I’m getting off track… Anyway, I am simply a righteous deity.
On the front lines, I was a valiant general, revered by all the gods! It was for this reason that Qiweiya bestowed upon me the divine artifact known as the Valiant Greatsword! I was initially overjoyed to receive this divine artifact, but then Qiweiya, that accursed individual, uttered a single sentence that irrevocably altered my future.
“Hmm, since you’ve accepted this greatsword, there will be ample time to *do* Fang Chang! Bye-bye!” With those words, Qiweiya departed from the front lines, and my life became remarkably ‘colorful’. Many people would greet me with questions like, “Fang Chang, which man *did* you today?”
“Fang Chang, you look quite radiant! Who was that yesterday? Tell me, I’d like to ‘exchange pointers’ with them!” or “Fang Chang… sigh, you really need to exercise some restraint!”
Afflicted by such a terrifying psychological blow, I developed a condition akin to reclusive disorder. From then on, I retreated into my cozy little snail-shell home, aptly named the ‘Warm Abode’. However, rumors outside began to spread that I had achieved the profound realm of ‘sucking dirt while seated’!
Today, I inadvertently heard the news that Qiweiya, that little wretch, had finally returned, and I was extraordinarily thrilled! I could finally repay her ‘care’ properly! I had already prepared the ‘Spicy Strip Anal Insertion Technique’ and the ‘Drink This Bottle of Mentholated Oil, We’re Still Good Friends Series’. What truly exhilarating news this was!
****
Qiweiya’s face was flushed as she waved goodbye to yet another deity who had come to greet her. Though Qiweiya often seemed unreliable, her popularity on the front lines was remarkably high. While this did suggest that all active deities were a bunch of loli-cons, it was best to simply ignore it—no harm done.
Qiweiya felt it was truly a wonderful day, filled with genuine joy. She had just finished ‘disciplining’ her three charming and unique Valkyries—no, not unique, but rather juicy and flavorful ones! Witnessing their ‘exalted’ expressions, trembling under the ‘Yang Yongxin Fear Punishment Game’, was truly a sight to behold.
If not for her unwavering will and her fighting spirit against evil forces suppressing the mischievous imp within her, she wouldn’t be cordially greeting her amicable divine fans. Instead, she’d be lying in bed, shrouded in smoke, asking, ‘Was last night comfortable? Dared you be at ease?’ (Too much information! I need to calm down!)
Passing by the central control hub of the front-line fortress, she watched the bustling deities within, feeling that life was perfect. Why do the work herself when others could do it? And when there was no work, she could ‘do’ others! She was close to achieving this dream. What were daughters anyway? Not like she bore them herself! No pressure at all! (Holy cow! You’re broken! Wake up!)
Moreover, they dared to disregard her authority! Unforgivable! (It seems a potent remedy is in order…)
As Qiweiya pondered what game to play with her most beloved daughters tonight, a voice called out, “Qiweiya, do you still remember me?” Qiweiya subconsciously replied, “I remember that night by Lake Saiming when I did something foolish against my conscience—no! Little sister, who are you? With that bird’s nest hair… could you be the legendary God of Sloppiness? I’ve long heard your name, and seeing you today, you truly live up to the reputation!”
*Slap!* Fang Chang swatted away Qiweiya’s pointing, insolent hand. “While I don’t know who you’re mistaking me for, as long as *you* haven’t made a mistake, that’s all that matters! Hehehehe.” Qiweiya felt a deep sense of malice.
Qiweiya cautiously waved her hand. “Although I don’t know what exciting or eye-catching thing I supposedly *did* to you, I know that running now is definitely the right move!” *Whoosh!* With a movement like a startled rabbit, Qiweiya elegantly vanished in a puff of smoke.
Fang Chang stood stunned for a moment before a fervent smile spread across her face. “If you dare to run, I dare to chase! Accept my overflowing love for you! Ahahaha!”
Qiweiya scrambled over rooftops, scaled walls, and then, with a conflicted expression, turned back to shout, “Little sister, I don’t have Jizhi cough syrup or children’s cough syrup, so why are you chasing me so relentlessly? Couldn’t we just put everything aside and chat amicably, becoming good buddies? Why all this fighting? When will this cycle of vengeance end?”
Fang Chang gnashed her teeth and spat. “Who the hell wants to be good buddies with you?! If this old lady doesn’t chop you into pieces today, my name isn’t Fang!”
Qiweiya’s ears twitched. “Your name is Fang? Are you Fang Shiyu? Or perhaps Fangyuan Baili? Otherwise, why are you chasing me so hard?”
Fang Chang was so amused she nearly laughed. “Heh! Why did I never realize before what a shameless person you are?! Truly, I’ve chosen my friends poorly and met the wrong person. Indeed, it’s better for you to just disappear!”
Seeing the red-eyed, ravenous girl behind her, Qiweiya sped up, startled! She quickly accelerated even more. “Little sister! Are you a cheetah? We’ve already reached Mach 800! Can you not be so eager? I don’t have lollipops on me! And your little loli isn’t on me either!”
Fang Chang’s predatory gaze swept over Qiweiya’s delicate form, causing Qiweiya to shiver. “Hearing you say that, I suddenly wonder if I’ve overlooked something? Perhaps I should add things like ‘Loli Love and Hate,’ ‘Ice and Fire Nine Heavens,’ or ‘The Story of Spice and Pain That Had To Be Told’… I feel like I’m still too pure.”
Qiweiya declared that the things Fang Chang mentioned were terrifying and she was on the verge of tears. “Um, while I don’t know what your worldview is like, I suggest you see a psychiatrist or something… because there’s something seriously wrong up here.” (She pointed to her head.)
Fang Chang had never hated herself so much for not having four legs! Watching the little loli casually mock her ahead, while she couldn’t use her powerful hands to deliver a heavy dual blow of mental and physical pain, made her feel utterly exhausted. “Do you crave power?” Fang Chang heard a sudden voice in her mind, her eyes vacant. “I crave it! I want the fastest speed! Whatever the cost, I’ll pay it!”
“Very well! Your wish has been granted! Your moral integrity has been accepted!”
Fang Chang felt as if she had lost something inconsequential, but… none of that mattered! Now, she felt she could race against time!
To Qiweiya’s utterly dumbfounded expression, she found herself caught by the girl behind her, who seemed to have taken ‘Golden Kola’ and listened to ‘Gokuraku Jodo’.
Qiweiya, looking bewildered, patted her own face. “Strange? Nothing’s wrong… Am I really caught?!” Qiweiya felt an immediate sense of personal crisis and instantly abandoned all decorum, selling cuteness at zero distance.
With sparkling, emerald eyes, Qiweiya hugged the girl’s arm and said adorably, “Big sister, please let me go, I’m so cute, aren’t I?” Though Fang Chang was momentarily charmed by Qiweiya’s sudden surge of cuteness, the resentment buried deep within her for countless years instantly brought her back to her senses.
*Smack, smack!* Fang Chang began a spanking game, showing no mercy as Qiweiya cried out in pain. (Should there be a tragic scene for the protagonist?)
With Qiweiya’s face flushed in a way that invited misinterpretation, Fang Chang lifted the little loli in her arms. “Don’t think you’ll get off easy. This is just the beginning. As for the real appetizer… hehe, come to my Love House. It will surely leave you with unforgettable, beautiful memories.”
To Qiweiya’s utterly dumbfounded expression, Fang Chang hauled her into a small building.