Heart fire

“That kind of Professor… ah, that kind of Professor…”

Reminiscing about that day, recalling the Professor’s shattered expression, I unconsciously opened my eyes. My breathing grew ragged and hurried; my entire body burned with a restless heat.

As if craving something, I reached out into the empty air, only to pull back and clench my hand into a tight fist. An intense sense of emptiness and frustration brought hot tears to my eyes.

I finally understood. I craved the Professor. No matter what, I could never let him go.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“Ning… Ning Rou, you’re here…”

Ignoring Xiao Yuehua, who stood leaning against the wall, watching me with a cold sneer, I stepped through the doors of the Performance Room.

The Professor’s eyes flickered away, avoiding mine as he forced out a strained greeting. I suppressed the pity swelling in my heart and squeezed out a radiant smile, trying to wave at him with the same youthful energy as always. I only hoped my vitality could offer him some small shred of solace.

“Hello, Professor! The weather is wonderful today!”

However, my wish fell flat.

“Yes… it is… We—we should probably get started.”

The Professor didn’t dare meet my gaze. He merely stole a few glances at Xiao Yuehua behind me, his tone carrying the distant chill of someone drawing a hard line.

“…”

The smile froze on my face. Why? Why was he acting so timid and fearful even toward me?

Professor, do you still not understand my heart?

No, this was wrong! The Professor in my memory wasn’t like this. The real Professor should be using a cool tone to toss out snarky remarks like a close friend. He should be responding to my attentive care with a faint, lingering smile in the depths of his eyes.

Our relationship was never meant to be this cold and estranged.

It was all because of Xiao Yuehua… because of her, the Professor had become this way.

A fire ignited in my chest. A sense of suffocating grievance, something I had never felt in my youth, made my heart race. If it were just Xiao Yuehua and me here, I might have let this rage explode into another confrontation.

But now, the Professor was in front of me. I couldn’t let him see this side of me. Even though he was distancing himself and standing by Xiao Yuehua’s side, he was the victim. He was already miserable enough.

I could not pass my pain onto him. I wanted to ensure he found peace and happiness, as much as possible.

Pressing down my resentment, I steadied my expression and sat beside him. I opened my reference book and pulled out my notes. Just as I leaned over to ask about a problem I hadn’t fully grasped—

“Ahem…“

Behind me, that woman let out a soft, meaningful cough.

The Professor’s body jolted in an instinctive, stress-induced shiver. His face turned deathly pale in an instant. I watched with my own eyes as fine beads of cold sweat broke out on his forehead.

It was as if his very body—every single cell—had been hard-coded with obedience and terror toward Xiao Yuehua.

This madwoman… what on earth did she do to him?!

I bit my lip hard and spun around, glaring at her with pure hatred. “What exactly are you trying to do?! This is supposed to be private time between the Professor and me!”

“Private time?” Xiao Yuehua let out a mocking sneer. “Everything about the Professor belongs to me. There is no ‘private time’ that belongs to you.”

Her eyes were filled with superiority and a sharp, jealous edge born of her obsession with him. Coldly, she continued, “In fact, if the Professor hadn’t been so soft-hearted, insisting on tutoring you until the day of your retake exam, I wouldn’t have even allowed him to see you.”

The woman seemed to have descended into madness, showing no restraint in flaunting her pathological obsession in front of us.

“I’ve been tolerant enough of you, Ning Rou. We had a chance to reconcile, but you didn’t cherish it. You just had to lay your hands on my Professor.”

“The Professor isn’t yours!” I retorted, my fists trembling. “The Professor is an independent person, not your property! Do you really think controlling him like this is for his own good? Do you lack the courage to let him make his own choices?”

Perhaps I had struck a nerve, as Xiao Yuehua’s expression turned hideous. She stared at me in silence for a moment before turning her head. In an act of petty retaliation, she issued a command to the Professor in a voice like a needle hidden in silk:

“Professor, I think as teacher and student—to avoid any suspicion—it’s better if you keep some distance from Ning Rou. Don’t you agree?”

“What?” I was shocked by her shamelessness.

I whipped my head back, only to see the Professor hanging his head, his voice trembling.

“Al-Alright… Yuehua…”

In that moment, I felt the true meaning of a piercing heartbreak.

The feeling of seeing someone you cherish being wantonly defiled by another… the feeling of watching the Professor sink deeper into a dark swamp while having nowhere to exert my strength…

My heart felt as if it were being seared by countless branding irons, letting out a sharp, futile wail amidst the smell of scorched flesh and bloody steam. My heart withered into parched ash. Once again, I loathed my own powerlessness.

“You’re just abusing your power for a personal grudge!” I shook with rage.

But Xiao Yuehua only offered a look of triumphant mockery. She stepped forward with arrogant strides and, right before my eyes, wrapped her arm around the Professor’s shoulder, forcing him to sit across from me with her.

“Yue… Yuehua, don’t be like this. Ning Rou… Ning Rou just has good intentions…”

The Professor shifted uncomfortably against her leg, trying to struggle, but he was held fast by her greedy embrace. He kept glancing nervously between Yuehua and me, trying to speak up for me, his expression a mix of hesitation and agony.

Actually, the Professor didn’t need to do this. Even if he showed total submission to her, I wouldn’t be angry—I would only feel heartache. I wouldn’t blame him; I knew he only ended up like this because of her wretched schemes.

From a rational perspective, obeying Xiao Yuehua was the “correct” choice. Defying a woman as obsessively powerful as her would change nothing; it would only bring him unnecessary pain. The Professor was a brilliant man; he was logical and surely understood this.

Yet, he still made the “wrong” choice.

I knew why. He was doing it for me. He was worried about me. Even though he knew he couldn’t defy her will, he still wanted to make an effort for my sake—an effort destined to be fruitless.

How foolish, Professor. This isn’t like you at all. Acting so impulsively… you’re like a child.

My nose felt prickly, and I felt the urge to cry. But I couldn’t.

In front of Xiao Yuehua, even if I suffered a crushing defeat, I refused to show a single hint of a loser’s pathetic state. And in front of the Professor, I could never bow my head.

As long as I don’t admit defeat, I still have the right to fight—to snatch him back.

I will never hand the Professor over to Xiao Yuehua. I haven’t lost yet.