No Money? What are you even doing!
A dark, cramped room, a bound young girl—how would *you* react to such a scene?
But Qiweiya, experiencing it firsthand, could only cry out, “Can you guys stop live-streaming this, for crying out loud! Someone save me first!”
****
A ball of fire materialized before Qiweiya, her expression a mask of pure terror.
Fang Chang, observing Qiweiya’s petrified state, smiled eerily. “Hehehe~ You never imagined this day would come, did you? As a deity who has suffered greatly from your idiotic actions, I shall deliver divine retribution upon you, you fiend!”
“Just a moment, if I may interrupt… I believe my race is also divine. So, if I am a fiend, then… so are you.”
Fang Chang’s eyebrow twitched. “Still defiant, even on the brink of death? It seems I’ll have to bring out something truly *stimulating* to make you yield to my will!”
Qiweiya panicked. “Holy crap! Young lady, you’re being far too immodest! Let me tell you, behind every girl, there’s a guy who’s silently devoted to her! If a girl’s first time isn’t with that guy, it’s a huge waste! So… you should really go find your own guy~ This really isn’t the place for… *that*!”
“Snap!”
Qiweiya, gazing at the slightly trembling hands braced against her shoulders, forced a smile. “Look, young lady, I don’t really have any guys to offer you. Why don’t you go pick one up on the streets yourself? I’m still a lonely singleton myself~ *cough cough cough*”
“Qiweiya, oh Qiweiya! Whose fault do you think it is that I’m still single? It’s *yours*! Argh! I’ll strangle you!”
“*Cough cough cough*! I! Don’t know~ *cough cough* Who the heck are you?! Let me go! I’m gonna die here!”
Fang Chang released her. “Hehehe! You don’t recognize me? Is this how you treat a woman you’ve wronged?”
Qiweiya quickly defended herself. “My goodness, the sun! Young lady, what could *I*, a loli, possibly do to you? I’d be thanking the heavens if you just left me alone! Look at my thin arms and legs~ they’re not even enough for you to… *do anything with*, yet you dare say such things about me?”
Fang Chang laughed. “You have the nerve to call yourself a loli? How old are you, really? You’re ancient, yet you shamelessly try to glorify yourself? I’ll just have to see how much ‘gold’ your face truly possesses!”
Feeling the heat nearing her face, Qiweiya panicked. “My heavens! Let’s talk this out properly! Put down that torch, and we can still be good friends! You’re so cowardly, always threatening disfigurement!”
“Good friends, my foot! My reputation has already been utterly ruined by you! Is that how good friends behave? Do you want to stab me in the back to be truly satisfied?!”
Seeing Fang Chang draw a massive sword and prepare to strike at her face, Qiweiya comically cried out, “Holy smokes! Young lady, you’re not playing by the rules, always going for a clean cut! Wait, no? Shouldn’t I be yelling for help? Right, right, right! Help! Someone save me, and I’ll reward them with ten thousand taels of gold!”
“Hey! You audacious scoundrel! How dare you plot against an Origin God! Watch as I, the Divine Realm’s foremost glutton—*ahem*—foremost scout, William Turner, deal with you! …Wait, wait, wait! Are you Fang Chang? What’s going on here?”
Fang Chang glared furiously at the young woman before her, who wore a feathered cap and a dark blue scout’s skirt uniform. “William Turner! Are you going to stop me too?”
William Turner, seeing Qiweiya bound to the chair and looking at him with gratitude, straightened his expression. “Indeed! Lady Qiweiya is still useful to the world!”
Qiweiya nodded.
“At the very least, she can be a cute mascot! To boost morale!”
‘So, I’m only good as a mascot? But I’m so manly, alright! I could take on everyone, a truly mighty figure!’ Qiweiya felt tears welling up.
Fang Chang tidied her messy hair. “I don’t care what you say, today, this ‘duck’ named Qiweiya is going down!”
“What the hell! When did I become a duck?! Don’t just make up titles! Back in the day, I at least gave you the title of a Valiant General! Holy crap, I spilled the beans!”
William Turner covered his face. “The rumors were true after all… If stupidity had a color, it would definitely be blue.”
Fang Chang raised the butcher knife that had appeared in her hand at some point. “Hehehe hahahaha! I never thought~ you’d actually admit it? It’s because of that title you gave me that I became like this! Since you’ve admitted it, prepare to die!”
Swish, swish, swish, swish!
Qiweiya twisted left and right, ducking and weaving. “Holy crap! Fang Chang, I truly don’t know what I did to you that day, and if I did, it was an accident!”
Receiving a divine message from William Turner, Qiweiya finally understood what was happening and couldn’t help but feel both exasperated and amused. “Um, Fang Chang~ How about we sit down, have a heart-to-heart, drink some tea, and I’ll resolve your… reputation issue?”
“Not good at all! Do you think an explanation will erase all the suffering I’ve endured these past years? I’ve spent days and nights afraid to go out, bearing humiliation and enduring vile slanders from outside! And now you just want to let it go? How could there be such a good thing in this world?!”
Qiweiya slumped back into the chair. “Well, if it’s one cut whether I stick my neck out or pull it back, then come on~ Anyway, I’ll still be a magnificent dragon a hundred years from now~ Why don’t I just fall into a deep slumber and let you all shoulder the pressure of the Void for me? I’ll get some peace and quiet for a while~ And if any problems arise then, you’ll have to take the blame~”
Fang Chang stared at the shamelessly defiant Qiweiya, torn between striking and not striking. ‘How can there be such a clingy, troublesome deity? Where is their divine dignity? Have Origin Gods truly lost all their standards now? What’s the point of fighting the Void then?!’
Qiweiya narrowly dodged the butcher knife. Staring at the gleaming blade before her, she swallowed hard. “Uh, you’re not still going to kill me, are you?”
“What do you think? If even Origin Gods are this pathetic, what’s the point of fighting the Void? We might as well lie down in coffins and wait for death together—it’d be quicker and more enjoyable!”
“Holy crap! You actually have such dangerous thoughts! William Turner, you bastard, stop enjoying the show so much! Hurry up and save me!”
“How much?”
Qiweiya was dumbfounded. “What? At a time like this, you’re still trying to profit from the dying!”
William Turner shrugged. “No money, no express delivery service with instant answers, right?”
Qiweiya, watching the ominous blade hovering above her head, yelled, “Any price you name! Just save me!”
William Turner smiled. “Alright, understood~”
Fang Chang brought the knife down, only to find nothing there. She looked around the room, realizing she was the only deity left!
“You SF Express Messenger! I’ll curse your whole family! I won’t let you get away with this~”
****
William Turner, smiling, counted the sparkling divine crystals in his hand. He took one, bit it with satisfaction to confirm its authenticity, and then chuckled. “Mmm~ No problems, it’s the real deal~ Thanks for your patronage!”
Qiweiya, tears blurring her vision, stared at her significantly lighter purse. “You faithless wretch! Truly unrepentant, my precious money! *Wuwuwu*”
William Turner nudged Qiweiya with the elbow of his metal-gauntleted arm. “Don’t be so stingy~ An Origin God like you being so petty, be careful no one believes in you anymore~”
Qiweiya flared up. “Hey! Are you trying to justify yourself now?! As a subordinate deity under me, you dare to extort money from your superior! You must have a death wish! Only a good-natured Origin God like me would tolerate this! Do you have the guts to try that in front of Nagornes Darkness? See what happens to you then! Hmph!”
William Turner shivered, a chill running down his spine as he considered it. “That… it wouldn’t be *that* exaggerated, would it? Probably not? Ahahaha.”
Qiweiya ignored his words, observing William Turner’s usual attire. “I’m telling you, why do you, a big strapping man, insist on wearing women’s clothes all day long? Do you really want to offend the eyes of us who know the truth? A cute girl with a… *ahem*… large chest? Hmm~ No problem, I suggest you find a boyfriend, and then when he tries to get intimate, tell him: ‘I’m a man, I’m sorry, we have no future together!'”
William Turner looked at his supreme deity, who was spouting such wild ideas, with a pained expression. “I don’t have the luxury of such… *troublesome* leisure to play along with you~ What if that guy gets upset and just forces himself on me?”
Qiweiya’s eyes widened. “Wouldn’t that be great?! It would mean he truly loves you~ Why don’t you just go along with him? Good men like that are hard to find these days! You should be content!”
“Content, my foot! I don’t need any feelings beyond friendship! It’s impossible for me to fall in love~ So just drop it!”
Qiweiya sighed helplessly. “Why must you be like this? Is love in this world so untrustworthy to you?”
William Turner brushed aside the bangs that had been disheveled by his hurried arrival. “You know~ these things are impossible. My entire being has been dedicated to the Void front! As long as the Void exists, my heart will never die!”
Qiweiya patted his shoulder in resignation. “Since that’s the case, I won’t pressure you~ But from now on! You’ll stay by my side!”
William Turner’s bright yellow eyes widened. “What do you mean? My esteemed deity! I really have nothing interesting about me! Please spare this humble servant!”
Qiweiya gave a wicked smile, lifting the cross-dresser’s chin before her. “Impossible~ Once you’ve taken my money, you’re mine! You can’t escape!”
William Turner frantically pulled out his pouch. “Here, here! I don’t want this money anymore! Find whoever you want, but I’m not going along with your shenanigans!”
Ding!
“What the—! What do you mean by this?! Why can’t I move all of a sudden?! I really can’t play with you! Great one, please let me go!”
“Too late~ Now that you’ve taken my money, you’ll be my errand boy for life!”
“Damn it~ Does it have to be like this?! Hurry up and release me! I’ll pay you double back!”
“Just give up~ Don’t make me use a subordinate divine command, you know.”
“Damn it… I shouldn’t have been so greedy! Now I’m really screwed!”
Qiweiya kicked his shin. “Why the long face? As an enforcer, you were destined to follow me eventually~”
“But I… really… don’t… want… to… sell… myself… like… this~”