The Professional Wife 

The Jade of Life was not an exceptionally rare item, but a high-grade one was still quite expensive and required connections to acquire. For Baron Paunch, however, connections were something he had in spades, so he had simply tossed it in this treasury for show.

“I’ll take this one.” Ard didn’t hesitate. The Marquis had given him more than enough money; a high-grade Jade of Life, however, was something he wouldn’t know where to find. With this, the brutal training Yexi had planned for him would be much more effective.

The steward raised an eyebrow. “You have a decent eye. Since you’ve made your choice, let’s go. I’ll have someone take you to your wife’s quarters to rest.”

“Excellent. Thank you, Mr. Steward,” Ard said respectfully. “In the future, while I am in the Baron’s service, I hope you will offer me guidance. Of course, if there is anything Mr. Steward needs of me, I will not hesitate.”

The steward turned and looked at Ard, stroking his beard with a thoughtful smile. “You know how it is, young man. The Sixth Master is indeed a trusted subordinate of our lord. But he has been away from the lord’s side for a very long time. Do you understand me?”

“I understand, sir. From now on, I will listen to you first, and the Sixth Master second.”

“Very good. You may go.”

Ard followed a servant out of the room.

When he arrived at the room assigned to Yexi and pushed open the door, he saw her diligently making the bed and cleaning the room, having completely transformed into an ordinary, domestic little wife.

“Husband, you’re back,” she asked timidly upon hearing the door open and seeing him.

Although he knew it was an act, Ard couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of satisfaction.

“Yes, I’m back,” he said, plopping down into a chair with the air of a lord. “I’m exhausted. Close the door and bring me some tea.”

“Yes, husband.” Yexi gently closed the door, as if afraid of making too much noise and angering him. After the door was shut, she maintained her timid demeanor, brought him a cup of tea, and then stood to the side, her soft eyes watching him, waiting for his next command.

Ard shot her a look and barked, “What’s with that wronged expression? Did someone bully you while I was gone? Was someone watching you?”

Yexi said hastily, “No, no one was watching me.”

Ard teased, “Then are you getting addicted to this, Yexi? Do you actually want to be a wife?”

In an instant, Yexi’s gaze sharpened, turning from docile to deadly. “Amateur,” she said with contempt. “When infiltrating the enemy’s ranks under a disguise, you must fully immerse yourself in that identity. A half-hearted fool like you deserves to be executed. But I suppose I’m asking too much of you. How could someone whose brain stopped developing in infancy possibly understand the meaning of total immersion?” She looked away with a sigh, as if mourning her misfortune of being paired with such an incompetent teammate.

“…” Ard surrendered, rubbing his nose. “That’s why I asked if anyone was watching, wasn’t it?”

Yexi scoffed. “My senses tell me no one is watching, but that is no reason to relax our guard. Even a Kira Monkey knows not to break character until the prey is in its mouth, yet you don’t even know this basic principle. Sigh. Your existence is lowering the average intelligence of the entire human race. You should just die to atone for your sins.”

The Kira Monkey was a bizarre carnivorous primate of this world, known for disguising itself as a tree stump and waiting for prey to wander by. Before it had secured its meal, it would fully commit to the role of a tree stump. Even if you threw things at it from a distance, it wouldn’t move a muscle. It would maintain its disguise even if it were being killed, or if it were starving to death. Though their dedication was admirable, their disguise was laughably bad. Anyone or anything with a bit of intelligence and decent eyesight could tell it was just a monkey, squatting with its knees to its chest, its two monkey eyes wide open. Their only saving grace was that their native habitat, the Misty Forest, was notoriously home to nearsighted creatures, which had allowed the bizarre species to propagate. But that was the extent of their domain. Despite their high reproductive rate, their terrible camouflage had prevented them from spreading to other areas. To humans, the Kira Monkey was utterly useless. Their meat had made the world’s top chefs sigh in despair. The main cause of their high mortality rate was not predation, but starvation, as their only hunting method was to wait for prey to literally walk into their mouths.

Ard was familiar with this infamous super-species. He never thought his intelligence would one day be compared to a Kira Monkey’s—no, to something even lower!

He clutched his chest, heartbroken. “Seriously, I don’t think I’m going to die of my own stupidity. I think I’m going to be insulted to death by you. My soul is wounded, Yexi. Say something nice to give me some confidence.”

Yexi raised an eyebrow. “Alright. I have some good news for you.”

“What is it?”

“To comfort you, I’ve decided not to castrate you after this mission is over. How about that?” Yexi said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “You didn’t really think I wouldn’t hold a grudge for you taking advantage of me earlier, did you? Was it comfortable, holding me?”

Cold sweat broke out on Ard’s back. “It was… alright, haha. Yexi, you have to understand, I was just trying to make it easier to ask you some questions.”

Yexi sneered. “And that’s why I didn’t cut off your two pig trotters on the spot and instead spoke to my dear husband in the tone of a little wife, isn’t it? You should die without regrets.”

Ard swallowed hard. “An assassin can’t just kill people at will! You’re a professional, Yexi! You have to control your emotions! In your past life, did you just kill everyone who took liberties with you during a mission?!”

Yexi shrugged, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “Yes, I did. I don’t kill indiscriminately, but I do deal with conflicts in a timely manner. After all, killing them makes me feel better.”

“…” Ard was starting to panic.

Yexi looked at him strangely. “What are you panicking for? Has your brain really devolved to the level of a Kira Monkey in the short time I was gone? Didn’t I just say I’d let you off the hook?”

Ard finally remembered. Oh, right. She did say that. He slapped his forehead. It seemed his brain didn’t work so well when he was around her.

Seeing that Ard wasn’t even trying to maintain his cover, Yexi dropped the act as well. It wasn’t her mission, after all. She sat down in a chair and asked, “What’s your next move?”

“Next? I’m going to add some more fuel to this fire,” Ard said, taking a sip of the tea she had brewed. His voice was laced with a sinister tone. “Right now, neither side has truly broken with the other. They’re both still exercising some restraint. If they calm down and realize something is amiss, my plan will be ruined. So, I can’t let them rest. I’m going to turn my instigation into a true, irreconcilable conflict.”

“Oh.” Yexi replied casually and then ignored him.

Ard felt a sense of frustration and defeat. Only a true stranger would be so utterly indifferent to his affairs. They might be interested in his stories and plans, but only to satisfy their own curiosity. They would never truly care. Yexi was even colder than a stranger; she didn’t even have the curiosity for things that didn’t concern her. The only people she truly cared about were the Marquis’s family in Pekoin.

Ard even felt that his own status in her heart was lower than that of an ordinary resident of Pekoin. But he also knew that he had made some progress. To go from a purely professional relationship to being able to chat idly with her… it was a small step, but a step nonetheless. He was confident that his progress with her would be much faster than that of the residents of Pekoin. After all, he had bound her to his side with a contract.

Now, as long as he could win his bet with her, she had promised to accept him. The thought filled him with a renewed sense of purpose. He was a little excited to see what would happen after she accepted him.

Yexi, who had been sipping her tea, suddenly shivered. She checked her body with her Ki but found nothing wrong. Then, her gaze fell on Ard.

Seeing her sudden look, Ard asked, “What is it?”

Yexi was silent for a moment, then asked suspiciously, “Were you just thinking something strange?”

Cold sweat broke out on the back of Ard’s neck. I was just fantasizing a little… What is this? The legendary sixth sense of a woman?

He quickly changed the subject. “No. By the way, Yexi, look at this.” He took out the Jade of Life and handed it to her.

Yexi took the jewel and examined it. “Interesting. It can nourish the body and accelerate the recovery of stamina. It suits you well.” She casually tossed it back to him. “With this, we can add a few more items to your training regimen. Excellent.”

Hearing this, Ard’s face froze. He had no desire to add anything to his training!

(Can you guys help me get the work’s rating on NU a little higher?)