Pity

“Unapproachable?” Haruka finished Suzune’s sentence for her, the word hanging in the misty air between them.

“Yes, that’s it. A little unapproachable.”

“Fujiwara Yukina, she doesn’t seem like the type to cause trouble for you all.”

“The First Young Mistress never causes us trouble,” Suzune confirmed. “She seems to push everyone away, refusing to be served by any of the staff.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” Haruka asked, confused.

Suzune’s smile was strained, a delicate, painful expression. “Then what is the use of us maids?” The maid hesitated for a moment, her gaze dropping to the damp ground. If it had been any other master, she would have kept her mouth shut. But her master was Haruka. She felt she could reveal certain things to this intelligent and kind young man. “In our eyes, the First Young Mistress is actually far more disliked than the Second Young Mistress.”

“Why?” Haruka was surprised. Kiyohime was so capricious and cruel with the servants, yet she was more popular than the aloof, seemingly gentler Yukina.

“The Second Young Mistress is a master. She has her likes and dislikes, her tempers and her whims, and we can always find a way to serve her, to please her. But the First Young Mistress, under the guise of ‘not wanting to be a master,’ both rejects the Fujiwara family and enjoys the conveniences it brings her. On the surface, she respects us, but in her eyes, you can’t miss the disgust and contempt.”

Hearing Suzune’s words, Haruka couldn’t help but remember Lady Murasaki calling Yukina a child who would never grow up. But having been tormented by rumors and judgment in his own childhood, he didn’t want to jump to conclusions about her. He reserved his judgment, tucking the information away.

“Does everyone in the Fujiwara household dislike her?” Haruka added, “There are no outsiders here.”

Suzune felt his addition was unnecessary. Whether there are outsiders or not, she thought, I would never hide anything from the Young Master if he asks. She maintained her humble attitude. “I wouldn’t dare to speculate about the mistress or the Second Young Mistress. As for the servants… we wouldn’t dare to say we ‘dislike’ her. It’s more that we keep our distance. After all, she was even able to drive away the maid who grew up with her.”

“Drive away?” Haruka focused on her choice of words. He thought for a moment. “Perhaps she thought she was helping her escape a life of hardship?”

“The First Young Mistress is very selfish,” Suzune said, shaking her head with a small, sad smile. “Young Master, we have grown up in the Fujiwara household since we were children. We have been educated and trained for over twenty years. If we were to leave the Fujiwara family, what would we be?”

Haruka fell silent.

“The First Young Mistress sent her personal maid away,” Suzune continued, her voice low, “but that maid had nothing left, except for a debt that was not yet paid off.”

“She didn’t pay off her debt for her?” Haruka frowned.

“She paid off a large part of it, but left a small portion for her to pay herself. She did, however, find her a job and a place to live.”

“How awkward,” Haruka said, the words a soft exhalation. “Suzune, how many years will it take for you to pay off your debt?”

Suzune thought for a moment. “If the Fujiwara family is merciful, perhaps I can pay it off before I’m eighty.”

“I will help you pay it off, bit by bit,” Haruka said, the promise simple and sincere.

Suzune let out a small, musical laugh, the lily-shaped jade on her hairpin swaying gently. “The Young Master cannot pay off my debt.”

Haruka was confused, thinking she was looking down on him. But then he saw her bow respectfully and slowly lift her head, her voice as soft as water, her eyes shining with a fierce, unwavering light. “Because I owe the Young Master a lifetime.”

Haruka was stunned for a moment. Suzune was so gentle, so tender, that for a fleeting, dangerous instant, he felt the urge to pull her into a tight, protective embrace.

He did not, of course. Instead, he said, his own voice a little rough, “Then you can only repay your debt to me.”

“As you command,” Suzune said, lowering her head in absolute submission.

Haruka’s heart skipped a beat, and he couldn’t help but walk a little faster, putting a small distance between them.

Suzune kept pace, leading the way, but she seemed more like his shadow than a guide, a silent, constant presence at his side.

After walking for a while, Haruka asked, “How much further?”

“Just another three or four minutes,” Suzune said.

Haruka stopped and looked around at the wide, open space of the gardens. “I ate a little too much for breakfast. Would you mind accompanying me for a walk around the grounds?”

“You do not need to ask for my opinion, Young Master,” Suzune said.

“I’m just worried my mother might be waiting.”

“The mistress said before that you should not rush, Young Master. That you should come to her side only after you are fully prepared.”

Haruka nodded. “Then let’s start by walking to the left.”

“Yes, Young Master,” Suzune said, and the two of them began to stroll, starting from the left and eventually circling the entire, vast Fujiwara estate.

Along the way, Haruka would occasionally ask her questions, and Suzune would answer each one, her knowledge of the family’s history and its complex web of relationships encyclopedic. He would then pick out key points from her answers, and she would patiently explain further, painting a vivid, detailed picture of the world he had just entered.

After nearly an hour and a half, Haruka had a general understanding of the Fujiwara family. He committed everything he needed to know to memory, not missing a single word. His memory was already excellent, and he was making a conscious, desperate effort to remember. Even if the information had been several times more complex, he could have repeated it back without a problem. Now, even if he were to walk alone in the Fujiwara estate, he would not get lost.

Feeling that it was getting late, Haruka led Suzune toward Lady Murasaki’s rooms.

The surrounding mist had grown thicker, the world a blanket of soft, disorienting white.

What a thick fog, Haruka thought.

It had rained all night, and the ground was wet and slippery. One careless step could lead to a fall.

Afraid that Suzune might slip, Haruka took her arm, his grip firm and steady, only letting go when they were back on the solid, dry ground of a covered walkway.

The mist showed no sign of clearing. He thought he could hear a faint, flirtatious voice from somewhere nearby, a musical laugh that seemed to come from the fog itself. “My, my, Young Master Haruka, you are quite popular with the ladies. I wake up so early, only to see you holding a woman’s hand. If any other man were to see this, they would die of jealousy.”

Suzune, beside him, turned, startled, and immediately bowed. “Lady Kurosaki.”

Haruka was surprised. He was about to turn his head, but a single, cool finger was pressed against his lips, and he felt a warm, moist breath on the back of his neck, making his heart itch. “Now, now, Young Master Haruka, you mustn’t turn around.”

Haruka stopped. “Izayoi-neechan, you’re teasing me again.”

He heard the tinkling of silver-bell laughter from behind him. “What woman wouldn’t want to tease you, Young Master? It’s just that they are not so fortunate.”

“Izayoi-neechan, last night…” Haruka had wanted to ask if Lady Murasaki had given her any trouble. When he heard of Fujiwara Asou’s death this morning, he had been terrified that Izayoi might have met a similar, tragic fate. But seeing her now, still able to joke with him, he knew she must be fine. He changed his question. “You’re up so early, Izayoi-neechan?”

Haruka felt a weight on his shoulder, a soft, ghostly breath on his earlobe, making his entire ear go weak and tingly.

“What do you mean, up early? I barely slept at all. I was tossing and turning all night, thinking of you, Young Master Haruka.”

“Please don’t make fun of me, Izayoi-neechan.” Haruka knew she was joking, but he couldn’t help but let his imagination run wild, a dangerous, pleasant warmth spreading through him.