Pulling Oneself Together

“Allen, I’m going out for a bit to buy supplies and arrange a carriage. I’ll be back soon. You should rest for now. Later tonight, let’s go out together and enjoy the lantern festival! It’s the end-of-summer festival today, and this town happens to have one—what luck. That’s all for now, I’m running out of paper. If you get hungry, check the uncle’s cabinet for food. We’ll have a big meal tonight.”

—Your dear friend, Luna.

The tone felt very familiar.

But thinking about it, they had only known each other for less than two days.

And yet, it didn’t feel strange at all.

It was as if they had once been close friends.

Like threads that had been cut but still faintly connected.

Even if forgotten, there was still a strange bond tying them together.

She didn’t understand why.

Reading the letter, Allen couldn’t help but smile.

She seemed to understand something.

Although the words were in Luna’s tone, the handwriting clearly wasn’t hers.

It must have been written by Eugene.

Could it be that Eugene liked that red-haired big sister?

That might actually be the case.

She narrowed her eyes and gave a sly smile.

No one saw that expression.

If anyone had, they would have been shocked.

Neither Kalyana nor Charlotte had ever seen her look like that.

Most of the time, she wore a faintly sorrowful expression.

Even when she smiled, it seemed like she was lost in thought.

Even Allen herself didn’t understand why.

Ever since escaping prison, she felt lighter.

Completely different from how she felt in the Leonardo household.

It was a lightness from deep within.

She didn’t know the reason.

But what she didn’t realize was—

Eugene had always wanted to talk to her more.

That familiar tone from the very beginning must have meant something.

And even though he could have escaped alone, he chose to follow Luna and rescue her.

There had to be some strange feeling behind that.

But Allen, with her painfully low emotional awareness, never thought deeply about it.

And Eugene never said anything either.

The letter ended there.

But there were faint traces of writing on the back.

She looked at the double-sided page curiously.

It seemed like something Eugene had secretly added, out of Luna’s sight.

“I’m Eugene. Don’t ask why I’m writing instead of the boss…”

He stated his identity directly.

“…The reason is simple—because her handwriting is… really… ugly!”

That was what he had secretly written.

“Hahaha!”

He even wrote laughter on the page.

Honestly, it made sense.

There’s a saying—birds of a feather flock together.

Among the three of them, two were clearly unusual.

So the third was probably not normal either.

First, there was Luna—the berserker-like fighter with little regard for strategy, capable of smashing prison walls with a single punch.

She was probably the strongest among them.

Then there was Eugene—an elemental mage with common brown hair, though it had become messy from long imprisonment.

Despite his normal appearance, he was actually quite ridiculous.

He would ramble endlessly, saying things with little substance, yet somehow lighten the mood.

An unknown but high-level mage—Eugene.

And finally—

The strangest and weakest member of the trio: Allen.

From Kalyana’s perspective, she was just a pitiful fallen noble girl.

Her identity was a mystery.

No one knew where she came from.

Even she seemed to have forgotten her past.

Her story sounded coherent, yet impossible to verify.

Like mist—clear in outline, but intangible.

She had been detained by the church for unknown reasons.

A truly unfortunate child.

She carried a faint aura of melancholy.

Like the subtle fragrance of camellia flowers—hard to grasp, lingering around her.

It made people want to protect her…

And possess her.

A strange, incomprehensible feeling.

If put simply—

She could tempt people into wrongdoing.

She evoked a peculiar desire in others—

The desire to possess.

But she herself was completely unaware of it.

In truth, Allen already knew the handwriting wasn’t Luna’s.

She could feel it.

The handwriting of that familiar stranger shouldn’t look like this.

She remembered it as chaotic, almost like ancient runes—

So illegible that even Luna herself might not understand it.

“Damn this brain…”

Allen cursed herself.

What a joke.

She had forgotten three whole years—

As if she had simply fallen asleep and woken up to find time gone.

And that wasn’t even the worst part.

The worst part was—

After those three years, she wasn’t even herself anymore.

Thinking about it was frustrating.

She glanced outside the wooden window.

The sun was already high—it was nearly noon.

She got up from the bed.

She wasn’t wearing much—just a sleeveless shirt and a pair of shorts.

She began looking for clothes.

After searching, she found some by the bedside.

It was a man’s shirt—once white, now slightly yellowed with age.

Probably something the uncle wore in his youth.

The style was old, perhaps from forty years ago.

Yet on Allen, it strangely suited her.

Perhaps it was her temperament.

She picked up a pair of black socks, pulled them apart, and slowly put them on.

She pulled them up to her knees.

Then she prepared to wear pants.

They were black-gray trousers with a subtle pattern, loose around the legs—

Another old-fashioned design.

Wearing socks first made it more comfortable.

After getting dressed, she sat on the bed, looking for shoes.

Under the bed was a pair of polished black leather shoes.

They fit perfectly.

She didn’t understand why they were the right size.

But she ignored it.

Maybe Luna had prepared them.

It wasn’t something she needed to worry about.

She noticed the collar around her neck was gone.

Perhaps it had been cut off when the assassin slit her throat.

And maybe that was when she became… something else.

She shook her head, refusing to think about it.

But another pendant still hung around her neck—

The old coin locket with a photograph inside.

She clearly remembered throwing it away before bathing.

Yet now it had returned.

Could it have come back on its own?

Impossible.

She lifted it toward the sunlight.

The golden surface reflected a dazzling light that hurt her eyes.

Her mood darkened again.

She didn’t want to see it anymore.

Every time, it dragged her into a heavy gloom.

She threw it back into the trash.

She didn’t believe it would return again.

It was better to sever ties with the past completely.

She thought bitterly.

“Haha…”

She laughed softly.

It was a bitter laugh—half laughter, half tears.

Betrayed, forgiven, betrayed again—

She had lost her patience.

Lost her emotions.

She only wanted to hide like a white mouse in a crack, living quietly.

Showing herself, feeling too much—

It only brought more pain.

This was Allen.

The former hero.

Now someone who didn’t even know who she was anymore.

Clinging to others just to survive.

Anyone or anything that could help her became her hiding place.

She had begun to understand her fate.

A life full of hope—only to be crushed again and again.

In the end, reduced to this.

She could already see her future.

Rely on mountains—they collapse.

Rely on people—they leave.

“Hah…”

She let out a dry laugh.

Then suddenly realized—

This wasn’t what she should be hoping for.

She needed to be strong.

Too many people were swallowed by fate.

Pitied for their suffering, blamed for their weakness.

She couldn’t let herself be swept away too.

At the very least, she had to fight with everything she had.

She would challenge this cruel fate head-on.

It felt as if she heard the sound of a sword being drawn.

She would fight destiny itself—

And see what it was truly capable of.

She clenched her resolve.

“I, Allen… will never give up!”

She whispered to herself.

Once again, she wrapped herself in a shell she had rebuilt.