The First World War and a Deity’s Burden

Yodel Finn’s finger tapped against his chin, and before long, he offered an answer.

“Hmm… how about ‘Eye of Thanatos’ for the name?”

“It’s quite fitting, considering this ability only activates under my gaze. Oh, by the way, could I take a look at your new toys?”

“Toys? Are you referring to my guns?”

Yodel Finn looked somewhat bewildered, yet he unslung his rifle and revolver, handing them both to Thanatos.

Thanatos, the Lady of Death, admired them with a series of exclamations, returning the weapons to Yodel Finn only after several minutes.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, these are fine pieces. I’m actually considering switching weapons myself.”

“Oh? Can gods just switch weapons so casually? I always thought that Death Scythe was bound to you.”

In Yodel Finn’s rigid perception, divine artifacts were supposed to be treasured heirlooms, inextricably linked to a deity’s very existence, yet Thanatos spoke of replacing hers as if it were nothing.

“Even gods must keep up with the times. Mortals are already using firearms; it would be strange for a deity to still wield cold steel… The era has changed.”

Having finished her musings, her blood-red eyes fixed intently on Yodel Finn as she spoke:

“Do you want it?”

“Want what?” Yodel Finn was utterly confused.

“The Death Scythe. Do you want it?”

“Huh? Can something like that just be given away?”

“Not exactly. This divine artifact has been nurtured by me for tens of thousands of years; it’s not something to be given away lightly… But since I won’t be using it, it would just sit there gathering dust. It’s better for you to have it.”

Thanatos extended the scythe towards Yodel Finn’s face. “After all, you’re my only worshipper. All these blessings, protections, and divine gifts, no matter how chaotic, can only go to you. So, just tell me if you want it.”

“Since you put it that way… of course I want it,” Yodel Finn replied, taking the scythe and finding it surprisingly light. “Still, I doubt I’ll ever need such a high-end weapon. My three existing guns, coupled with the Eye of Thanatos, already suffice for combat.”

Thanatos shrugged dismissively. “No, you’ll definitely use it. Once you hear what I have to say next, you’ll understand why.”

She opened the large black book that was never far from her side, her expression grave.

“I have observed a significant anomaly: starting from 1914, and for the next four years, the world’s death toll will rise sharply. The Authority of Death is orchestrating a colossal plan of demise, and the world will grow far more perilous in the years to come.”

“Concurrently, such an immense plan of death is bound to spawn numerous errors, causing my workload to explode. At that time, I may have no choice but to rely on your assistance. Allowing you to adapt to a higher level of power now is preparation for what lies ahead.”

Yodel Finn’s fingers twitched, a subtle movement that naturally did not escape Thanatos’s keen eyes.

“What’s wrong? Have you thought of something?”

He drew a deep breath and delivered the answer he had long anticipated:

“The First World War. An estimated ten million lives will be lost within four years.”

“What?”

Thanatos was startled, and what surprised her wasn’t the ‘World War,’ but the word ‘First.’

“Yodel Finn, wait a moment. What do you mean ‘First’ World War? There’s going to be a *second* war of this magnitude?”

Yodel Finn shook his head with a wry smile. “I’m not certain, but if we fail to manage the First Great War effectively, then the Second World War will become inevitable.”

The Lady of Death felt her suspended heart finally die. “I’ve already braced myself for four years of overtime, and now you’re telling me there’s a *second* one?”

Thanatos, a deity, actually displayed such a look of utter collapse.

While feeling a pang of sympathy, Yodel Finn had to admit that with her divine pretense completely shed, she felt far more approachable and real than usual.

The current Thanatos was akin to a colleague grumbling about an overwhelming workload.

As the aura of mystery receded, Yodel Finn was quite surprised to discover that the Great Death was actually rather childish.

Yet, this thought lasted merely a second.

“I’m tired. Let’s just destroy it all.”

No sooner had Thanatos’s words faded than a rat, wreathed in dark miasma, scurried out from her sleeve.

A rat, paired with the Goddess of Death—Yodel Finn suddenly made an ominous connection. “Wait, hold on, that rat wouldn’t happen to be…”

At that very moment, Thanatos had already torn open a rift leading to the mortal realm, poised to hurl the rat into the mundane world.

“You’re asking about this rat? Oh, I call it the Black Death. If I just toss this into the mortal realm, those fools will likely be too busy dealing with it to wage war and slaughter each other… Serves you right for increasing my workload.”

“Hold on! Boss, calm down!” Yodel Finn instinctively grabbed Thanatos’s slender waist, pulling her away from the rift.

“Yodel Finn, don’t stop me… Rather than passively working overtime, I might as well manually wipe out these people. That way, I can at least have an easier time for the next couple of decades.”

The human and the god engaged in a tug-of-war, and at the last possible moment, Yodel Finn finally managed to restrain Thanatos, preventing the Black Death from crossing into the mortal realm.

“Boss, don’t rush! Don’t I have you to help share the burden? And I’ll do my best to reduce war casualties, so your workload won’t be too overwhelming!”

Yodel Finn didn’t even attempt to persuade Thanatos from a moral standpoint, focusing solely on assuring her that her workload would be lessened.

He knew that the Lady of Death utterly lacked human concepts of good and evil; killing was as mundane as eating to her. Even if the Black Death wiped out half the world’s population, her heart would likely remain utterly unmoved.

Furthermore, unlike other deities, Thanatos had no worshippers. She could slaughter mortals in the present world without a single qualm, as long as Yodel Finn remained alive.

“Fine, for your sake, I’ll spare these people for now.” Thanatos dispersed the rat symbolizing the Black Death and returned to her throne.

Seeing his boss’s emotions stabilize, Yodel Finn let out a sigh of relief. At the same time, he thumped his chest, promising Thanatos:

“Don’t worry, I will definitely end the war as quickly as possible, and simultaneously minimize the possibility of a Second World War breaking out.”

Even after saying this, he wasn’t entirely at ease, so he added:

“Boss, if your work pressure gets too much, please don’t shoulder it alone. If you’re too exhausted, you absolutely must tell me. No matter how dire the situation, asking for my help is always an option.”

“Didn’t I say that to *you* before…?”

“Don’t get hung up on such details! The crucial thing, Thanatos, is that you absolutely mustn’t act impulsively and unleash the Black Death upon reality. At the very least, tell me before you do it!”

****

Returning home from the Temple of Death, Yodel Finn collapsed at his desk. After a long moment, he pulled a small notebook from a drawer.

Opening it, he used a pen to check off the entry “Eliminate the leader of the Eternal Life Society,” then proceeded to write in the next section:

“Prevent World War or reduce casualties.”

“Mission Success: Thanatos’s favorability, unknown new abilities and equipment.”

“Mission Failure: War and plague outbreak, estimated 20 million deaths.”