Because I Want to See You Smile

He carefully lifted the ends of my hair, and in the end, expressed his feelings anyway.

He pressed a kiss to the tips of my hair.

“It’s not the spell’s influence.”

Won-gyeong spoke in a tone that sounded as though even he was confused.

He let my hair fall back into place, then gently tidied the strands he’d disturbed with his touch, repeating himself softly.

“It’s just that… my eyes keep going to you, and I want to see you smile.”

He said it with a weary smile.

“That’s all.”

After finishing those words, Won-gyeong kept his hand in my hair for a while, staring at me.

He smoothed the already-neatened strands again and again, as if reluctant to let me go.

As I received his gentle touch, I found myself seriously wondering what it was about me (aside from my appearance) that could make these men feel affection toward me.

Looks naturally attracted interest, but that didn’t automatically lead to emotional or romantic desire.

I couldn’t remember how things were in reality, but among the men I’d met within the apocalypse simulation, most didn’t seek emotional connection at all—they only wanted physical interaction.

That was why this was even harder to understand.

‘If he just wanted my body, I could accept that. Then why does he say he wants to see me smile?’

I lowered my gaze to avoid his eyes.

Won-gyeong’s gentle gaze felt strangely burdensome.

Fidgeting with the fabric near my abdomen, I thought,

‘What if it’s not Won-gyeong—what if the spell’s influence is still lingering on me?’

I’d always been good at using other people’s goodwill to my advantage, but Won-gyeong’s kindness carried sincerity,
and that made it feel heavier than usual.

When I kept my eyes lowered, Won-gyeong let out a low chuckle and spoke.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I was just thinking that if you ever needed something, you could tell me anytime.”

He looked slightly awkward for having changed the subject.

When I glanced up at him sideways, he smiled gently.

“If it still feels like too much, you can think of it as the spell’s influence.”

I knew it wasn’t okay.

If the affection he showed me was genuine, having its origin doubted would surely hurt him deeply.

Just as much as I hurt myself by assuming that others’ goodwill might be the result of my memory manipulation.

I looked up into his violet eyes, so gentle they almost felt sweet, and shook my head.

“No matter how uncomfortable it feels, I won’t think of it that way.”

When I answered firmly, Won-gyeong’s face turned a little wistful.

It was an expression mixed with relief and gratitude—relief that his feelings weren’t doubted, and gratitude for that trust.

After confirming his expression, I continued.

“To be honest, I do wonder why you like me when we haven’t known each other that long.

Did we have any connection in reality? Like Hyeon Jaeyul or Jeong Iheon?”

“We only crossed paths occasionally at the Association. I’m sorry to say this, but since I knew about your ability, I avoided getting close.”

He shook his head.

It was an expected answer, but still a disappointing one.

‘Maybe my relationships in reality really only amounted to Hyeon Jaeyul and Jeong Iheon.’

Perhaps noticing my disappointment, Won-gyeong added belatedly.

“Of course, now I know you’re not someone who uses their ability for convenience.”

“That’s fine. If it were me, I wouldn’t want to get close to someone with my kind of ability either.”

I thought the same way, after all.

It was unfortunate, but true.

As I replied, I realized that Won-gyeong was still waiting for my answer to whether anything had happened in the village.

What should I do?

Having the mental capacity to think deeply wasn’t a bad thing, but what happened in the village concerned only me.

While I was hesitating, I noticed someone passing by us and said to Won-gyeong,

“Should we change locations?”

He nodded with an expression that said that was a good idea.

After searching for a suitable place, we ended up at Won-gyeong’s room.

As he suggested heading there, he added an explanation, almost like an excuse.

“My room’s already been checked. No listening devices or cameras, and I’ve put up security spells, so we can talk freely…”

“I won’t misunderstand. Don’t worry.”

Won-gyeong explained hurriedly, but I already trusted his self-control completely.

Despite the curse we’d been subjected to in the rift, he hadn’t crossed any lines with me.

It had been more than enough of a situation to do so, and I wouldn’t have minded either, which only made his restraint more impressive.

So I replied casually and stepped into his room.

Behind me, Won-gyeong, who was holding the door, let out a deep sigh and muttered,

“I wish you would… misunderstand, though.”

Knowing how good my hearing was, I turned back to look at him.

As he closed the door, he said,

“I don’t plan on touching you, but if you’re too comfortable, it feels a little disappointing. Could you at least stay tense?”

“If acting is fine.”

“No, never mind…”

Won-gyeong muttered gloomily.

Watching him deliberately act playful, I let out a small laugh.

He led me into the small kitchen attached to the room and sat me down at the table, moving busily as he asked,

“You seem to like chocolate. Should I make something sweet to drink?”

The kitchen, which didn’t look heavily used, was nevertheless stocked with ingredients for making chocolate drinks.

It looked like they’d been used a few times.

Resting my arms on the table and propping my chin on my hand, I asked,

“Do you like it too? Everything you’ve got out is chocolate.”

“Well…I’ve just been craving sweets lately…”

He answered in a suspicious tone while setting a cup down.

A thought crossed my mind, and I teased him lightly.

“Don’t tell me you started drinking it because I like it?”

He froze for a moment, then laughed awkwardly.

Seeing that he didn’t deny it, that was probably exactly what happened.

Resting my chin on my palm, I quietly watched his back and tilted my head.

Won-gyeong really did seem to like me.

Copying what I liked was a little childish, but that made it feel even more sincere.

Flustered, he picked the cup up and put it down repeatedly before turning around.

When his eyes met mine—mine staring straight at him—I saw his stiff, embarrassed expression melt away instantly.

As I blankly watched him express his feelings with his whole body, he asked with a smile in his voice,

“Is warm okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you usually drink it warm even in summer?”

Won-gyeong kept looking at my face as he asked.

His gaze toward me was full of tenderness.

Receiving that gentle look, I thought for a moment.

When we lived in the bunker, ice was something you couldn’t easily get.

Not that I’d ever tried to.

I wasn’t particularly sensitive to heat, but I was weak against the cold and disliked cold things.

I wondered briefly what I’d been like in reality, then answered.

Things like this were probably the same.

“I think so. I don’t like cold stuff.”

“Even ice cream?”

“I hate it.”

“I see.”

“Then when are you going to make it?”

“Oh.”

When I smiled and asked, Won-gyeong flustered again.

When I started laughing, I could hear his heartbeat speed up slightly.

It was fascinating how fast his heart raced over a single smile.

He reacted like a boy experiencing his first love.

He couldn’t take his eyes off me, only turning away after I dropped my smile.

With practiced movements that suggested he’d made it many times before, he prepared two cups of hot chocolate.

Placing one in front of me, he sat across from me, his eyes sparkling with anticipation.

I picked up the cup, warmed to a comfortable temperature, and took a sip of the drink Won-gyeong had made.

“It’s good.”

“That’s a relief.”

When a satisfied response slipped from my lips, Won-gyeong relaxed, took a sip himself, and asked,

“What else do you like?”

This didn’t feel like why we’d come here in the first place.

Letting out a short laugh at Won-gyeong, who had started asking pointless questions, I spoke.

“Weren’t you curious about what happened in the village?”

Only then did Won-gyeong make an “oh, right” face.

There are moments when a person’s face becomes startlingly clear.

Sounds grow distant, the surrounding scenery blurs into haze, and only that person’s face remains vivid.

Whenever Go Doya smiled, Won-gyeong’s vision always changed like that.

The moment he became defenseless like that didn’t feel unpleasant to him at all.

Contrary to her gentle appearance, Go Doya’s smile wasn’t something you saw easily.

Before returning to reality, she seemed to smile often, but after waking up, her expression was almost always blank.

Even that blank face wasn’t bad.

Go Doya’s smile was a defense mechanism.

A smile used to lower herself and make others let their guard down.

So in a reality without danger, the frequency of her smiles naturally decreased.

Not smiling when there was no reason to was also a sign that Go Doya felt safe.

After observing her carefully for several days, Won-gyeong realized this without difficulty.

Since meeting Go Doya, Won-gyeong often felt as though he’d started walking a path completely different from the one he’d followed until now.

As if he’d finally met someone he’d been waiting for all along, everything began to revolve around her.

He couldn’t say that the spell had absolutely nothing to do with that sensation.

The beginning of his prolonged gaze toward Go Doya had been when he was bound by the spell.

At the time, his heart had felt oddly at ease.

Because he was cursed, because it was the spell, there was no need to dig into the origin of those feelings.

All he had to do was love Go Doya freely.

But now that he’d broken free from the spell, things were different.

He wanted to know why his feelings for Go Doya continued to persist.

‘Why is it that I want to see Go Doya smile?’