Mirror Images and Memories

Even Ronia and Michael are awkward with each other if I’m not around. They never hang out without me. It’s not that they dislike each other; they just say it’s awkward. They run out of things to talk about.

I set my books down on a table in the dormitory lounge at the very end of the hallway. Taking a deep breath, I gripped my quill. Let’s get this over with quickly, I thought, but at that exact moment, someone sat down across from me.

“Are you doing it here?”

I turned my head. Zeno had entered the lounge without me noticing. When I nodded, Zeno pointed to the seat opposite me.

“May I work here as well?”

“Oh? Yes, of course.”

I nodded. Zeno sat right across from me and opened a book. For a while, we collected data in silence. After about thirty minutes, I stole a glance at him. Zeno was focused on his book, jotting things down. I spoke up cautiously.

“Um, I’m sorry about what happened back then.”

Zeno’s hand stopped.

“I was feeling sensitive. I must have startled you.”

Zeno replied calmly. “It doesn’t matter. I imagine you were quite startled yourself.”

“Pardon?”

“To have someone say something like that to you out of the blue.”

“……”

“I apologize. I was rude.”

What is up with this guy? I stared at Zeno blankly. I felt like I could see a halo glowing behind him. Regardless of his status, he seemed like a genuinely decent person. I hurried to speak.

“It’s a bit awkward to say this myself, but those rumors… a lot of them are distorted. I’m not actually that kind of person—”

“No.”

Zeno cut me off before I could finish.

“I think the rumors are correct.”

“……Excuse me?”

Did I unconsciously do something offensive just now? Just as the thought crossed my mind, Zeno spoke with total sincerity.

“You really do resemble a Maltese.”

My mind, which had been cluttered with a million worries, went instantly blank. I stared at him again, dumbfounded. Zeno repeated himself.

“Truly. You really look like that breed—specifically like my Della.”

“……Della?”

Zeno reached into his shirt and pulled out a pendant, holding it toward me. Reflexively taking the pendant, I looked at him, and he gestured for me to open it. I flipped the lid open. And there it was.

“……A cotton ball?”

Inside the pendant was a portrait of a pure white ball of fluff. I narrowed my eyes. Looking closer, it wasn’t a ball of fluff, but a very cute puppy. The well-groomed dog was wearing a flashy jewel necklace around its neck.

I looked back and forth between the puppy and Zeno. Zeno nodded.

“Looking at it next to the portrait, the resemblance is even stronger.”

“……”

“That’s why I felt a sense of familiarity with you. I was happy when we were placed in the same group.”

Zeno went on to shower his pet with praise.

“Della is two years old this year. She is braver and more dignified than the shepherd my younger brother raises. And as you can see from the portrait, she has a truly lovely face.”

I looked at the portrait again. It really was cute. Fluffy white fur, bright twinkling eyes, and a nose like a little black button. I nodded.

“It really is small and cute.”

“Right? I’m incredibly worried since I had to leave her alone at the palace.”

“Oh? Does the dog get anxious without its owner?”

“No.”

Zeno spoke again with a dead-serious expression.

“I get anxious.”

“……”

“Her face constantly flickers before my eyes. So, having said that…”

Zeno reached out his hand.

“I’d like us to be friends from now on.”

“I—I’d like that too.”

The two of us shook hands lightly. Zeno returned to his research with a satisfied face, and I went back to organizing data. But I couldn’t concentrate. After finishing about half the work, I went up to my room. My mind was in a whirl.

“Do I really look that much like a Maltese?”

I stood in front of the mirror. My black hair inherited from my mother and the pale pink eyes from my father were the first things I saw.

Where in the world is there a Maltese that looks like this? After pondering seriously in front of the mirror, I headed toward the Swordsmanship Faculty dormitory.

“Where are you going?”

“Indoor training grounds. Let’s go have a duel.”

The Swordsmanship Faculty is probably the most boisterous and tough department in our academy. Students there chat casually in the hallways while half-naked. There are fewer female students compared to other departments, and since everyone follows their own path, they don’t pay much attention to one another—even when students from other faculties show up.

Other students are shocked at first, but after a few visits, you naturally develop an immunity. It’s because they’re so confident and shameless about it that it doesn’t even feel scandalous. You just get used to it.

“Oh, Cecil.”

I turned around. It was Azazel, Michael’s friend.

“What brings you here?”

“To see Michael. Is he in?”

“Yeah, training ended a while ago, so he should be all washed up.”

I knocked on Michael’s door. I heard his voice telling me to come in because it was open. I opened the door and entered.

“Hey.”

“Welcome.”

Michael, looking fresh and damp from his shower, beamed at me. My eyes automatically drifted to his torso. He had a well-defined, good-looking body. Usually, I don’t care much for looking at other guys’ bodies, but Michael’s was always nice to look at. Is it because we’re friends? I wondered, but kept it to myself as I spoke.

“You haven’t even put a shirt on yet.”

“So? It’s not like you haven’t seen it.”

“I guess.”

We’ve seen everything there is to see; we’re childhood friends, after all. Agreeing with him, I added, “Still, wear a shirt before opening the door from now on. What if I had brought Ronia along?”

“Ah, good point. Got it. But why did you come alone today?”

“She said she was busy studying. So I guess it’s just the two of us.”

“It’s been a while since it was just the two of us.”

“Let’s go pick her up from her dorm for dinner, though. Once Ronia gets into her studies, she loses track of time.”

Michael handed me the towel he had been using to dry his hair. I sat on the edge of the bed, and Michael sat on the floor in front of me. As I started drying his damp hair, I said, “Good job with training today.”

“I actually had a lot of rest time today.”

“Really? How come?”

“The professor was in a good mood. He let us out early.”

“That must have been nice.”

“Yeah, felt like I caught a real break.”

“I wish my professor would let us out early tomorrow too.”

I stopped moving my hands and asked, “Is this dry enough?”

“Hmm……”

Michael, who was strangely checking my reaction, blushed slightly and said, “No, I think it’s still a bit damp.”

“Really?”

“Dry it some more.”

“Okay.”

I carefully continued drying his hair. After a moment, I set the towel down.

“Now?”

“Yeah, that’s good. I think it’s done.”

Michael ran his hand through his hair. No joke, I thought I was looking at a statue of the God of Beauty from a temple. I stared at the radiant Michael for a moment before picking up a comb.

“Alright, now to comb it.”

“Cecil, you’re always so generous with me.”

“I’m generous with all my friends.”

“But it’s true that you’re especially generous with me.”

“Well, that’s true.”

I playfully messed up his hair before neatly styling it for him. He looked even more radiant once his hair was done. Michael stood up and asked, “I have some cake; want some?”

“When did you buy that? You’re quite generous with me too, aren’t you?”

“Of course. I’d give you anything.”

“……”

My face turned bright red.

‘Just hurry up and get a house together.’

For some reason, Ronia’s constant teasing popped into my head. I kept my mouth shut and quickly changed the subject.

“I told you, right? There’s a really high-ranking person in our group.”

“Yeah. That Imperial? He’s famous in our department too. He’s so good at swordsmanship that everyone thought he’d join our faculty. There was a lot of talk when he chose General Studies.”

“Really? He’s good at swordsmanship too? No wonder he’s so strong. He really has it all.”

“Was his name Zeno? What about him?”

“Our group was split into pairs for research, and I ended up with him. But he told me I look like a dog.”

“What?”

“Ah, that sounds bad, doesn’t it? He said I really look like a Maltese.”

“Oh, is that all.”

“At first, he brought up the rumors out of nowhere, so I thought he hated me, but that wasn’t it. He just genuinely sees me as a Maltese. He has one at home and says I look just like it. Do I really look like a Maltese?”

“Well, yeah. Obviously.”

My expression turned serious. “Aren’t Malteses those tiny, cute dogs?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“I’m not that small, though? I’m in the mid-170s. Isn’t that standard?”

“But it’s true that you’re cute overall.”

“……”

I stared at Michael intently and asked, “Do people usually tell their childhood friends they’re cute?”

“I don’t know. You’re the only childhood friend I have.”

“You’re the only one I have, too.”

“Really? I’m happy to hear that.”

“I’m happ— wait, that’s not it! How did the conclusion end up like this again?”

Are we really just friends? I tilted my head. I wanted to check my past-life memories for reference, but I couldn’t think of anyone. I was stupid, so I probably didn’t have friends back then either. Just then, Michael brought the cake over.

“Here, cake. This is the one you like, right?”

—Here, you like this, don’t you?

I stared at my favorite cheesecake.

—See? I’m the only one who looks out for you.

My eyes went wide. I stared at Michael blankly. No, I think there was at least one person back then too. A good childhood friend like Michael.

Again, my past life won’t come back clearly. Just how stupid was I? Even if my past self is technically me, I really can’t stand her.

Part of me wants to kill her all over again.

Though I’m not sure if it’s even possible to kill myself twice. Ugh, my blood sugar is dropping.