Chapter 6: To the Room of Truth

For a while, Kare’s chat room was on fire.

Wasn’t it a bit too much considering he just lost the first match of his promotion series?

This thought crossed my mind, but after rewatching the stream, I could understand the situation.

“Just don’t die, okay? I’ll really carry.”

“Just one more, no, just one more. The very last one… Agh!”

“What’s our jungler doing!!”

“These spoon-fed guys, the problem is that they just gulp everything down when it’s handed to them!”

“Mindless split-push on.”

Kare had been stacking up “karma” throughout the game.

With his repeated “top lane addict” antics, he built up karma, which finally exploded in the form of a lost promotion match.

“…Guys. I really feel like ending the stream.”

Maybe his mental state had taken a hit.

In a timid voice, he cautiously brought up the idea of ending the stream.

[Nah]

[Lol]

[Where do you think you’re running off to?]

[Where do you think you’re running off to?]

[Nah]

[Lol]

[Nah]

“Aren’t you going to clean up your mess before you leave?”

“If you end the stream now, I’ll end your life too.”

[Lol]

“My mom just randomly started crying; was it because of you?”

“A national petition just went up, everyone, please click ‘Agree’ at least once~”

There was no way the viewers in Kare’s chat room, known as the “Toxic Asylum,” would allow this.

Seeing the chat’s sentiment sinking further, Kare had no choice but to raise his head.

At the same time, the black screen surrounding his webcam disappeared.

What appeared was the waiting room of a ranked game, with the ban phase already completed.

[?]

“Was he acting to avoid stream snipers?”

[Shameless… shameless…]

[Oh… quite the acting skills]

[Why did you abandon Nayeon noona… Why did you abandon Nayeon noona… ]

“I mean, honestly, it’s a promotion match, and it would be boring if I got sniped. Right?”

As if the timid demeanor from a moment ago had been entirely fake.

Seeing Kare’s mischievous expression, the chat filled with ‘lol’.

[But if he still got sniped, that’d be legendary]

“Oh, come on. With all this effort, you think I’d still get sniped?”

Kare shook his head with a smile at a viewer’s comment.

As he continued chatting with the viewers, it was soon his turn to pick.

“Hmm… The enemy top hasn’t shown up yet?”

The opponent’s top pick still hadn’t been revealed.

The safe pick ‘Renekton’ from Kare’s champion pool had already been banned.

After pondering which champion to choose, Kare quickly made a decision.

“Let’s go with Malphite for a change.”

[U]

[You’re really going all in on this, huh?]

[The general isn’t going for a sword champ?]

[From now on, stop going around with those young ladies.]

[Where has the Kare I knew, the mindless dribbler in a 2v1, gone?]

[It’s not a hot heart; it’s a fire dick.]

[That person has been devoured by Nayeon noona and has passed away. Please don’t mention it.]

As Kare picked Malphite, a champion representative of “gukbap” (Korean rice soup), the atmosphere in the chat room changed instantly.

“Why is it like this again? Sometimes, you just crave gukbap, you know?”

Kare calmed the raging viewers with his smooth words.

Feeling the need to change the subject quickly, Kare shifted his gaze.

Just then, the opponent finished their picks.

The last champion picked by the opponent was…

“…Mordekaiser?”

Historically, alongside ‘Sylas,’ he was optimized for hunting ‘gukbap.’

When that champion appeared, the atmosphere in the chat room, which had been uplifting, shifted back to despair.

[Where do you think you’re going to ruin the promotion match?]

[What a joke!]

[Sweetly accept it lol]

“Come on, who plays Mordekaiser these days? His performance is trash.”

[Fact: Absolute tier 1 against gukbap players.]

[Even my dog knows Mordekaiser is OP.]

[My dog is just a lol.]

[Dog…? Mordekaiser…? Ugh! My head…]

The viewers reacted negatively to Kare’s words.

However, objectively speaking, it was a fact that Mordekaiser’s performance was indeed trash.

“Even the enemy mid is Sylas, damn it.”

[Two gukbap hunters gathered.]

[Eating broadcast duo.]

[lol]

[Eating broadcast duo true lol]

Given the defensive characteristics of Malphite, he would inevitably be at a disadvantage against Mordekaiser and Sylas.

Even the trick of swapping mid and lane was blocked.

It seemed like he would have to face Mordekaiser head-on as Malphite without any tricks.

“Please dodge!!!”

The moment the starting counter hit 1,

He shouted “dodge” with all his wishes.

<The game is starting.>

[No way lol]

[But you’re going to endure this?]

[Seeing a 30% win rate Malphite and still not dodging?]

[I would have dodged immediately.]

[True lol]

[No matter how you look at it, they all seem like ‘actors,’ teacher.]

[It’s Kare’s Truman Show all over again.]

With that, the game began, and the loading screen appeared.

Kare glanced over to check the opposing players’ nicknames. Three characters caught his eye.

[Nayeon Queen]

The moment he saw those three characters, Kare screamed inwardly. Without even trying to look, he could tell exactly what was happening in the chat.

“I even acted to avoid being stream-sniped…”

[lol]

[Wow, this guy is ‘the real deal.’]

[Not even Chris Kyle could pull off sniping like this.]

“Did you really have to go that far, to feel satisfied by sniping me like that?”

[lol]

[Ah… just classic ^XXX^.]

[Today’s stream is going to be legendary lol.]

[At this point, doesn’t he just love Kare? Lol.]

[True love confirmed.]

[It’s something beyond love; is this affection?]

[Nayeon Queen! Nayeon Queen! Nayeon Queen! Nayeon Queen!]

With Nayeon Queen successfully pulling off the snipe in a situation where no one else could, Kare’s stream once again began to boil with intensity.

He succeeded in sniping again.

Although he was assigned his secondary role in the top lane, it wasn’t too bad.

Whether it was indirect or direct harassment, as long as he could cause Kare trouble, the method didn’t matter much.

‘Malphite, huh…’

No matter how much Kare wanted to climb to Master tier, he, who once called himself the ‘General,’ chose the national favorite, Malphite. It was unforgivable. It shouldn’t be forgiven.

So, I chose Mordekaiser, the counterpick to Malphite.

Back when Mordekaiser was reworked, I played him as my main champion, and I knew him well. But he became boring, so I had no choice but to switch to another champion.

At first, it was fun trapping streamers in the ‘Realm of Truth’ and beating them up. But because I did it so often, I quickly lost interest and no longer found it fun.

Maybe that’s why, now playing Mordekaiser after so long, just moving around was entertaining.

Thinking of trapping Kare’s Malphite in the Realm of Truth and mercilessly beating him up in the near future made my whole body tingle with excitement.

<Blue Team>

TOP: Mordekaiser

JG: Elise

MID: Sylas

AD: Samira

SUP: Thresh
Vs

<Purple Team>

TOP: Malphite

JG: Kha’Zix

MID: Orianna

AD: Ashe

SUP: Braum

The game has started.

The Purple Team’s composition, with Kare’s Malphite, was pretty solid.

When it came to team fights, there was the synergy between Malphite and Orianna’s ultimates, giving the time advantage to the Purple Team.

In contrast, our team composition wasn’t as good.

Compared to the Purple Team, which had a clear AD, AP, and tank balance, our team had three AP champions.

Of course, Malphite was a “tank” champion specialized in armor, so it wasn’t entirely disadvantageous for us.

But as long as we had an early advantage, there was a high chance we’d lose if the game dragged on.

[Minions have spawned.]

Nothing happened during the invade phase, and we moved on to the laning phase.

Kare’s key rune on Malphite was Comet, and he harassed me from level 1.

“Is he mad?”

Despite having a disadvantageous matchup, Malphite was actively engaging in trades.

It felt like he was playing with a sense of rage directed at me.

However, no matter how much he tried to harass me, my health stayed steady.

Thanks to my W skill, Doran’s Shield, and the “Second Wind” rune from the Resolve tree.

Mordekaiser already had good sustain, and this rune choice further boosted that.

In the end, Malphite used up all his mana and was left to farm minions under the tower.

Naturally, I didn’t leave Malphite alone and kept smashing his head with my mace whenever my cooldowns were ready.

Realizing that staying any longer would be risky, Malphite tried to recall.

But I used my E skill to interrupt his recall.

Even without watching the stream, I could picture Kare getting frustrated.

Missing his recall timing, Malphite went back to farming minions.

This was the classic “lie down and endure” strategy that tank champions often used.

Justlookcarry (Elise) signaled “on my way.”

Justlookcarry (Elise) pinged that he was coming towards Malphite.

Following my jungler’s ping, I quickly cleared the wave.

Naturally, this created a dive opportunity, and with low health and no mana, Malphite had no choice but to die.

Justlookcarry (Elise): Malphite (Flash)

Elise marked that Malphite had used his Flash and left the top lane.

I moved to a safe spot and pressed recall.

Malphite, who returned to the lane using Teleport, looked for me, but I had already safely recalled.

Justlookcarry (Elise) is on the way.

Justlookcarry (Elise) marked ADCARRY (Ashe).

When I shifted my minimap to look at bot lane, I saw Elise moving in for a counter-gank.

Malphite had already used his Teleport to return to lane.

Without a second thought, I used my Teleport to join the fight in bot lane.

[Enemy slain.]

[Double Kill!]

[Triple Kill!]

By the time I arrived after using Teleport, the enemy team was low on health.

Honestly, we would’ve won even without my Teleport.

But thanks to my Teleport, I saved Samira, who was on the brink of death, and secured a triple kill, so it wasn’t a meaningless move.

With 4 kills under my belt by the 6th minute of the game, I completed my core item and headed back to the top lane.

Malphite had been diligently farming tower gold while I was away from the lane.

I went around to where he was happily mining tower plates and immediately used my ultimate.

Trapped in the Death Realm, Malphite tried to back away.

But with nowhere to escape, all he could do was roll his Boulder Smash in circles.

“Just stay still.”

Smiling slightly, I swung my mace at the level 5 Malphite with a joyful heart.

 


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The adventure continues! If you loved this chapter, I Won’t Return to Earth With a Woman Like You is a must-read. Click here to start!

Read : I Won’t Return to Earth With a Woman Like You
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