The Sound I Learned to Hate

“If that kid exists in reality too, then he should be somewhere inside the Association.

That doesn’t sound like a difficult problem.”

“It’s not difficult? I thought the Association had a lot of security facilities.”

“Those kinds of security systems aren’t very effective against an S-rank.”

Won-gyeong answered as if it were nothing.

It was such a casual reply that my hesitation felt almost embarrassing.

What surprised me was that he’d said it after clearly accounting for the Association’s extensive security systems and personnel.

When I stared at him in admiration, he seemed to reconsider his own words and spoke with a slightly reddened face.

“I mean… abilities have compatibility, you know. Mine is hard to block with scientific technology, so…”

“Still, that’s impressive.”

I quietly observed the tips of Won-gyeong’s ears, faintly flushed, then smiled and looked away.

It was a relief that Won-gyeong was on my side right now.

I took a sip of the lukewarm hot chocolate and continued.

“But I don’t have any memories, so I don’t even know where to start looking.
It feels overwhelming.”

When my shoulders slumped, Won-gyeong calmly listed a few places he found suspicious.

“There’s a high chance he’s in a department related to ability development.

Since his power isn’t under control, he’d be somewhere with containment facilities.”

“Is that a place we can access?”

Won-gyeong shook his head.

“If we don’t have clearance, we can’t go openly. But sneaking in is possible.

It’ll be even easier if Ju Noeul cooperates.”

“He will. He knows the situation. And he spent the most time with that kid, remember? Even if he doesn’t say it, he’s probably worried.”

Ju Noeul might be blunt, but he was the one who paid the most attention to the child.

His personality was rough, but his heart wasn’t bad.

If anything, he was overly righteous and straightforward.

If we said we were going to look for the kid, it was easy to imagine him joining without hesitation.

Honestly, it felt stranger that he hadn’t brought it up himself yet.

“Yeah. Ju Noeul has a soft heart.”

Won-gyeong said with a hint of amusement.

Listening to his lighthearted tone, I blurted out,

“I think Ju Noeul is easier to deal with than Jaeyul.”

Lately, I couldn’t tell what Hyeon Jaeyul was thinking at all.

The feelings he directed at me were sticky and heavy.

It felt like once they started spilling over, I’d be dragged under with no way out.

When I let out a sigh and said that, Won-gyeong nodded in agreement.

After wrapping up the main discussion, I had to endure Won-gyeong’s pointless questions again.

They were mostly about things I liked or disliked.

I answered what I liked without much thought, but when he asked what I disliked, I got noticeably more animated.

“I really hate loud noises. My ears hurt.

No, if it were just my ears, that’d be fine, but my head starts ringing too.

I hate people who shout the most, and after that, people with loud voices…”

As I counted on my fingers while ranting, Won-gyeong smiled with remarkable calm.

It was the smile of someone certain he didn’t fall into that category.

If anything, he almost seemed pleased that so many people fit into the group I disliked.

“I don’t really like listening to music either. To me, it just sounds like noise.”

At that point, Won-gyeong seemed to fall into thought.

He had been leaning toward me with his chin propped on his hand, but now he lowered his hand and spoke.

“If songs feel like noise to you, it might not just be that your hearing is good.”

“Huh?”

“Doya, most of the sounds you dislike are related to people.”

It wasn’t something I’d ever thought about.

I’d only considered my hearing to be sharp, never that it might be something more.

“The sensory processing connected to your hearing seems sensitive overall.”

“Isn’t that the same thing as having good hearing?”

I asked, confused.

Won-gyeong thought for a moment, chose his words, and replied.

“How much do you remember from your childhood?”

“Just my mother talking to me.”

“Do you think you were sensitive back then too?”

At his question, I recalled the voice I’d heard along with the illusion.

It had been soft and gentle.

But the sensation that accompanied it—

It had felt like a dull ache reverberating through my brain.

‘Ah.’

My body shuddered, as if struck by lightning.

I hated my mother’s voice.

That gentle resonance that demanded sacrifice from me.

The room without windows was always pitch-black.

The faint light slipping through the crack under the door was the only illumination.

As a child, I would stare blankly at that thin sliver of light, reach out toward it without meaning, and then fall asleep.

Days like that stretched on endlessly.

I didn’t know why only those memories surfaced.

After parting with Won-gyeong and returning to my room, I remained lost in thought.

The memories triggered by Won-gyeong’s questions left nothing but unanswered doubts behind.

‘What kind of people were my parents,to implant such twisted words into their own child?’

From what I remembered so far, I couldn’t sense anything resembling parental affection.

All I felt was something closer to malice—a purpose.

I lay awake, pondering what that could mean.

To me now, those memories were unnecessary.

Whatever they wanted from me—probably sacrifice—

I had no reason to comply.

I wasn’t that selfless a person.

I valued my life. I was afraid of dying. Just an ordinary person.

I didn’t possess any heroic spirit or noble resolve.

That was simply who I was.

Rolling around on the wide, comfortable bed, I buried my face into the warm blankets.

I liked the peaceful day I was enjoying now.

If I could keep living in a calm world like this, that would be ideal.

But sacrificing myself to preserve such a world?

I had no intention of doing that.

Wasn’t that obvious?

If the world continued because I sacrificed myself, then I wouldn’t be there.

‘What’s the point of a peaceful world without me in it?’

In the first place, I couldn’t even remember why I’d joined the apocalypse simulation.

As a mere B-rank mental-type ability user, what had I been thinking?

Because my memories hadn’t returned, I had no idea what goal my real self had been pursuing to stop the apocalypse.

To be honest, these were the thoughts occupying my mind.

‘Not that I plan to tell anyone else.’

They were far too selfish to share with anyone.

I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling.

I’d promised to look for the kid with Won-gyeong starting tomorrow.

With my already weak stamina, I needed as much rest as possible right now.

If I could use my ability, things would be much easier.

I had two helpers now, but ironically, the ability at the center of it all was useless.

After finally managing to shake off Hyeon Jaeyul, this time it was Jeong Iheon.

The moment I spotted him and tried to turn away, I was caught before I’d taken more than a few steps.

“Doya, why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not avoiding you.”

“You just tried to turn around and leave.”

“No, I remembered something I left in my room.”

“Oh? Then let’s go together. I’ll carry it for you.”

“It’s n-not heavy. I don’t need help.”

Jeong Iheon beamed as he wrapped an arm around my waist.

“Helping our Doya is the joy of my life. Come on, let’s go.”

This fox.

He was quicker than anyone at spotting my lies.

Even knowing that, he dragged me toward my room.

I braced my legs to stop myself from moving, but I was still hauled along.

He was ridiculously strong too.

With his arm around my waist, I was practically half-lifted off the ground.

Carrying me with ease, Jeong Iheon looked down at me with the same smile and said,

“Think of an excuse by the time we get there. I’m curious what you’ll come up with.”

He’d already concluded I was lying.

Then couldn’t he at least pretend not to notice? Why drag me along like this?!

“If you noticed, couldn’t you just pretend you didn’t?”

“That’d be difficult.”

“Why!”

“I’ve got good instincts.”

“What does that have to do with anything…?”

When I gave him a deadpan look as he suddenly brought up his intuition, he continued with a light smile.

“It feels like you’re about to do something dangerous.”

“…I’m not.”

“If that’s really the case, I won’t interfere. I’m just worried, so try to understand.”

At his words, I let out a small groan and tugged at his collar.

It was a signal to stop, and he understood immediately, halting his steps.

After checking that the corridor was silent, I said,

“You always see through my lies anyway, so I’ll be honest. I’m planning to do something that might be a little dangerous,
but it’s hard to tell you about it right now.”

“Hm…”

Jeong Iheon crossed his arms and tilted his head slightly as he listened.