Chapter 61: Is it because she’s too cute to just leave alone?

Dried Pollack Hangover Soup.

There are no fantasy healing potions in reality, but when it comes to curing the status effect of a hangover, dried pollack hangover soup is practically an elixir.

As I eat, I can feel my twisted stomach settling down completely.

I could have just gotten a retort-pack from the convenience store or ordered delivery, but the fact that Seol Yoon went through the effort of making this herself makes her all the more precious and lovable.

As I look at her, our eyes meet, and her lips part.

“Unnie, do you feel better now? Should we go to the hospital if you’re still not okay?”

“I’m all better, really. It wasn’t even that bad to begin with—no need to go to the hospital.”

Excessive overprotection.

Not that I dislike it.

In fact, because I’ve experienced neglect in the past, I appreciate it even more.

For a brief moment, memories of my childhood came back—when I wouldn’t bother mentioning a cold and just endured it.

I didn’t want to seek attention by being sick.

“Our son is so mature, handling things on his own. Such a commendable and proud child.”

I thought I had to live up to those words.

Compared to my sibling, who was always on the verge of life and death, a simple cold was nothing.

“Thank you for staying alive.”

If my sibling had died, I would have never escaped that shadow for the rest of my life.

I would have been haunted forever by the shameful memories of my jealousy, and by the guilt that would never leave me.

But because my sibling survived, I can now just brush it off as something that happened once upon a time.

“Thank you for staying alive.”

“Thank you, for the soup. Thank you, for worrying about me. And thank you for coming to stop me from making a mess.”

“You’re my beloved unnie, of course I had to come!”

Seol Yoon suddenly wrapped her arms around me from behind.

Back when she first came home from the hospital and we started truly living together, there was a certain awkward distance between us.

But at some point, she started clinging to me like this.

I wonder what changed?

“Like a dog.”

She’s just like a big dog—if she had a tail, I swear it would be wagging like crazy.

She has the face of a sly fox, but she acts like an affectionate pup? That’s way too unfair!

…Wait.

Could it be that she sees me as a cat, always trying to wriggle out of her affectionate gestures?

If I think about that, it’s practically delusional.

“I am a wolf trainer.”

With the difference in our sizes, it feels more like I’ve befriended a wolf.

Thinking about it that way, I almost feel kind of cool.

This is absolutely not just me trying to mentally compensate, okay?! Hey!?

Don’t say I’m small! Hey!?

“Will she do this to her husband, too, once she gets married?”

If Seol Yoon ever gets married, I have no doubt she’ll completely spoil her husband.

I can already picture it—her husband whining, “Huueeeng, Mama! I don’t wanna go to work!” and her responding, “Alright, alright, don’t go. I’ll take care of you.”

“Seol Yoon… getting married…!

I felt a murderous urge toward a nonexistent future spouse.

No way! I’m not giving up my Seol Yoon!

So this is what older brothers feel when they have a cute little sister?

“Unnie, stop scratching your chin. I’m not a cat.”

“Gasp! You’re not!?”

Did she really expect me to start purring or something?!

When I stopped scratching her chin, she immediately pushed her head forward and rubbed her left cheek against my right one.

Maybe because she received so much attention from our parents, she grew up to be so expressive in her affection?

Let’s not think about that.

If I get lost in depressing thoughts, I’ll never be able to move forward.

Live in the now.

Focus on the present.

Focus on the—ugh, this is so embarrassing!

How can she just rub her cheek against mine like it’s nothing?!

How does she have absolutely zero sense of personal space?!

It’s seriously a relief that she ended up as a girl.

It suits her so well.

After finishing my soup and brushing my teeth in the bathroom, Seol Yoon suddenly started brushing my hair.

With long hair, if you don’t manage it properly, it gets tangled, which can be a disaster.

Especially before washing—it’s best to comb it out first.

Wet hair is fragile, and washing it tangled can cause breakage.

“Unnie, you know how animals groom their fur to keep it clean? In a way, brushing hair is like grooming, too.”

I couldn’t quite figure out where she was going with this.

“Uh, I guess?”

“You know, if you keep a cat and a rabbit together, they actually get along pretty well. In cat society, the higher-ranking one grooms the lower-ranking one first. But in rabbit society, the lower-ranking one grooms the higher-ranking one first. So when a cat licks a rabbit first, they both think they are the higher rank, and both end up satisfied.”

“…So, are you the cat or the rabbit?”

“What do you think?”

If I had to compare her to an animal, it wouldn’t be some small pet like that…

No, no. I didn’t think anything weird just now.

“I’m sorry for being such a hopeless unnie…”

“Why are you apologizing all of a sudden?”

“I’m sorry for being a useless, unemployed shut-in…”

If Seol Yoon didn’t visit regularly, my place would have turned into a complete garbage dump.

The only reason I manage to live like a decent human being is thanks to her.

The only reason I haven’t completely rotted away in loneliness is because she constantly checks in and visits.

The only reason I haven’t become an alcoholic, drinking myself to sleep every day…

This time was just a mistake.

I got too stressed after seeing that internet post about someone spotting me.

“What is it about me that makes Seol Yoon care so much?

“Is it because I’m too cute to leave alone?”

When I look in the mirror, I can’t help but think… maybe it’s no wonder people won’t leave me alone.

So, I feel a little uneasy.

When I was a guy, unless I was up against an actual fighter, I had the confidence of I can win! At the very least, I can protect myself!

But with this body? I couldn’t even win against an elementary school kid.

Every time I struggle to lift a 1.5L bottle of water, I want to die.

“Even if I work out…”

Seol Yoon keeps trying to get me to exercise, but ever since becoming a woman, I can’t help but think it’s a pointless effort.

No matter how hard I train, I still won’t be able to beat some scrawny, twig-like boy.

If I had Seol Yoon’s build, maybe, but with my height and frame? There’s no hope.

If you want to understand what it’s like to be a woman in this situation, imagine this:

You walk outside, and 85% of the people around you are tattooed, muscle-bound gangsters.

If you were sure you’d lose in a fight no matter what, wouldn’t you naturally become more cautious?

It’s embarrassing to admit, but when I was over 180 cm tall, I just had confidence.

A teenage guy with height and a solid frame.

I had a pretty justified belief that I was stronger than at least 90% of people.

Even if I lived in a peaceful society where fights rarely happen, that primal instinct was still part of my identity.

But now? I could probably get beaten by some random elementary school kid.

And if I ran into some psycho who doesn’t care about laws or consequences? I’d just be screwed.

That’s why the outside world feels scary.

You never know what could happen when you step outside.

In that sense, the internet is far safer.

No one can physically punch me through a monitor.

Even if someone says something nasty, it’s just words.

They can’t actually harm me.

“What do I do about the scam?”

“What scam?”

“I wore a cosplay suit and pretended my chest was bigger.”

Drunk out of my mind, I acted on the worst idea imaginable.

I figured as long as I looked the part, no one would recognize me by my voice or hand movements.

So I went through with it—total fraud.

If I were sober, I never would have done something so stupid.

“Drinking is really dangerous, unnie. Maybe you should cut back?”

“I’m sorry.”

Seol Yoon’s gaze sharpened slightly.

Uh-oh.

This is the look she gets right before she launches into a full-on 30-minute lecture.

But luckily, she just sighed and said:

“It’s been a while since you last drank, so I’ll let it slide this time. But binge drinking and making a mess of things? That’s a big problem, right?”

“Yeah…”

“If you want to drink, don’t do it alone. Call me. I’ll keep you company and make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”

…

I can’t exactly say I’ve got it under control when I clearly don’t.

But clinging to my little sister for help would be too humiliating.

“Are you going to drink alone and mess up again?”

“No.”

“Good. Then don’t drink alone—always call me.”

Huh? Her tone shifted a little just now.

After finishing brushing my hair, she smoothed it down with her fingers and said:

“Don’t stress about it too much. It’s not like you can always tell the truth on stream. You’re not exactly going to share your home address, bank account, and passwords, are you?”

“I mean, that’s a little different…”

“You were scared of attracting stalkers, so you disguised yourself. Who could blame you for that? These days, streamers have to be extra careful. Do you know how many home invasions, stalkers, and violent incidents happen? If someone criticizes you for lying, ignore them. It’s not like they’d take the risks for you.”

“I-Is that so…?”

“Dad made the right call. If you were living in some poorly secured one-room apartment, I’d be worried sick every day.”

Is that so…

Hearing that from kindhearted Seol Yoon makes it sound like the most reasonable thing in the world.

If my real identity got exposed, I’m the one who has to deal with the danger and stress.

So what’s wrong with telling a few small lies to avoid that?

“But unnie, you were jealous of having a bigger chest, huh? Want me to give you a massage to help them grow?”

“D-Don’t be ridiculous! Even between family, there are boundaries!”

“Wow, saying I’m crazy? That hurts my feelings.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I was joking, unnie.”

Don’t make that kind of face when you’re joking!

It makes me want to hand over my entire heart and soul!

“You don’t need to explain yourself. Everyone lies. On stream, you just play a character.”

Is that true…?

The moment I went live, viewers flooded in faster than usual.

Oh no.

The drunken broadcast must have gone viral.

It probably got spread everywhere.

I might even break 30,000 viewers today.

I wrote a message on the screen:

[The drunken stream from last night? That wasn’t me.]

[That person does not exist.]

[NoFriends donated 1,000 KRW.]

“Hello, friendless Legendary.”

The moment I saw that donation, I knew.

Ah.

Today is going to be a roast session.