The Bitter Taste of Reality

It was absurd. It was definitely because of this face. I opened my mouth to protest, but all that came out was a series of ugly, wheezing gasps; my voice refused to function. For a moment, I wondered if my body was reacting to the memory of being strangled before, but no—she had genuinely nearly crushed my windpipe. Shit. Even as I struggled to regain my breath, my blood boiled.

I could roughly guess the logic behind her assumption. In a street where murder and violence were the local currency, a pretty child was a commodity regardless of gender. For kids with no proper guardian and no power to protect themselves, the only way to get beaten less—the only way to get a scrap of food in their bellies—was to be submissive.

Luke, offering no explanation, was busy placing the hat back on my head. When I glared at him, something flickered across his normally expressionless face, though it was hard to pin down the emotion. A hand more accustomed to choking and breaking than soothing touched the neck the woman had just seized. The mere brush of his fingernails sent a chill down my spine. I slapped his hand away with a sharp smack, and only then did Luke don his familiar, easy smile.

“Do it.”

“Owen!”

In the midst of the chaos, Owen—who had been lounging as if intoxicated—granted his permission. The woman shouted his name in protest, but she couldn’t argue further. Luke, speaking for me since I was still just mouthing air, described Elliot’s appearance and then turned to the woman, who looked ready to bore holes through him with her gaze.

“You’re acting awfully jealous.”

“Watch your mouth when you sleep. That unlucky tongue of yours might just disappear.”

“I get that you’re annoyed because you failed your mission, but don’t take it out on me. I wouldn’t be satisfied with just cutting out a tongue.”

Ultimately, the man who had been caught between them pushed Luke and me out. The incensed woman drew the sword strapped to her thigh, but she couldn’t quite shake off the man who was practically hanging onto her waist to restrain her. Luke, as if mocking them both, hoisted me over his shoulder and left the room. I considered struggling to be let down, but I didn’t even have the energy for that anymore. Too much had happened today.

“Why do you… pick fights with everyone?”

After several attempts, my voice finally returned. It sounded wretched to my own ears, but it was intelligible enough.

I knew Luke was skilled. I had seen him effortlessly take down people much larger and older than him, so I couldn’t question his prowess. He was impressive enough to be recognized even in the Nox. But there’s a limit. I understood the woman’s reaction to some extent. If a green brat starts strutting around the Nox as if he owns the place, the established powers are bound to find it loathsome.

Even Spellman, who had lived his whole life as a knight, warned me never to expect a “fair duel” in a real fight. In the Nox, it would be even worse. It was the fault of the person who couldn’t block a knife from behind, and no one would call it cowardly if a crowd swarmed a single target. In a place like this, the survivor is the strong one, and the loser is just finished, regardless of their skill. Yet here he was, making enemies everywhere. Even knowing the future where he successfully swallows the Nox whole, it made my heart hammer in my chest.

“If I were submissive, Rel would have killed me without hesitation.”

Luke explained calmly again. A steady, gentle voice; hands that were far from kind; yet actions that were, nonetheless, a favor. He was a human being hard to define by a single trait.

There was little conversation as we descended the stairs, passed through the tavern—which was still as loud as if the previous brawl had never happened—and walked along the filthy streets. I eventually stopped caring about the eyes fixed on us. The two people by Owen’s side were likely the strongest in the district, and since Luke didn’t even bow to them, I realized a few stares weren’t going to be a problem.

Luke carried me past the creek and through two more alleys before finally setting me down. He placed a hand on my head as if offering praise.

“You really are too small.”

“How much height do you expect from a twelve-year-old?”

I snapped at him, but he didn’t seem to take it as genuine anger. I didn’t think there were many children in the Nox, but even so, was he completely lacking a sense of perspective? I had taken pride in growing fast for my age, so being repeatedly criticized for my size souring my mood. And Luke knew exactly how to soothe that irritation.

“Go back to where you live. When I find your friend, I’ll send him back to you.”

After a moment of hesitation, I muttered, “Thanks.” His help had undeniably been significant. I hadn’t died a dog’s death in the Nox, and I didn’t have to comb the streets myself. Now that the immediate fire was put out, I had bought time to go and ask the guards for help. Luke ruled out one possibility for me: “It won’t be Rosen. Their spots filled up recently and the Blue Gate is closed, so they wouldn’t bother selling him there.”

It was an excess of kindness, considering I hadn’t paid him a proper price and had snapped at him every time he prodded me.

Overwhelmed by a sudden wave of embarrassment, I hesitated to turn away until Luke gave my back a nudge. Trusted ally, my ass. It was a discarded plan anyway, but even if I had tried to execute it, I would have failed. I had been half out of my mind because of Elliot. I had only taken a few heavy steps when Luke let out an “Ah.”

“I forgot something.”

“What is it?”

I turned around, and before I knew it, Luke was right there, pulling me in by the waist. The hand cradling the back of my head felt so natural I almost mistook it for something that belonged there. His lips, his nose, his breath—everything touched me. The sensation of his teeth lightly nipping my upper lip was surreal. The kiss was brief, but it was too suggestive to be called a “cute peck” between kids like it had been with Cedric.

His eyes were vivid from such a close distance. The lashes, the iris, the pupil. Seen up close, Luke’s eyes looked like they held molten gold. For a moment, I forgot to breathe, staring into those inhuman eyes. Luke released his hold on my waist and head and stepped back.

“Blonde suits you well, too.”

His words snapped me back to reality. The ring I had been wearing on my right hand was now in Luke’s possession. I didn’t know whether to be angry or bewildered. I was stunned. It wasn’t the first time I’d had my lips stolen by a man since becoming Llewellyn, but back then, I thought Cedric Klein was a girl, so I hadn’t been this flustered.

Besides, that had been a very, truly cute kiss—the kind that could happen between children. I clenched and unclenched my fists, not knowing what to do with the tension. Should I run over right now and hit him?

While I was agonizing, Luke waved as he disappeared into the alley with light steps.

“Get back safe, Rin. And be careful from now on.”

Only after he vanished across the creek did I roughly wipe my lips with my sleeve.

“Shit…”

Though it was hard to pinpoint my exact location, finding the way out wasn’t difficult. The scenery changed drastically with every alley I crossed. By moving toward where the buildings looked sturdier, the roads wider, and the crowds thicker, I eventually reached the center.

The sun was setting by the time I reached the main road. Among the more elegant clothes of those around me, my worn shirt and trousers looked pathetic. It was better to look like a slum kid than to show I’d been assaulted, so I clutched my shirt with one hand to hide my neck.

I buried my face in my clothes as I saw people explicitly covering their mouths and noses and whispering when they caught sight of me. I didn’t smell, but whether I actually did probably didn’t matter to them. I kept my head down and moved quickly. At least this wasn’t a place where kidnappings or murders happened just because someone looked at you. My priority was finding someone who could help.

I had to find Leo, or Blodgett.

I kept my gaze lowered to avoid unnecessary trouble, but the distance was vast. The headquarters of the Lovenus Central Knights was at the very heart of the city. Fortunately, I had visited several times before, so I wasn’t likely to get lost. Occasionally, I looked up to check the way; the flags bearing the Imperial crest were flying so large they were visible across the entire city.

However, just as the rattling of my worn-out soles started to bother me and slow my pace, I realized something was wrong. There wasn’t a single guard to be seen on the streets. Using their communication network would be much faster than moving myself.

Surely all the guards couldn’t be neglecting their duties. Was it a scheduled mass training session or something?

If so, my luck was truly atrocious. I barely swallowed a surge of curses. Only after walking for a long time through familiar streets did I finally encounter guards with swords at their waists.

Whether my spirit was exhausted or my physical strength had reached its limit, I was out of breath.

“Excuse me…”

“Huh? What is it?”

His face, which had looked pleasant enough, contorted the moment he saw me. It seemed to wound his pride that someone who was clearly neither a noble nor a bourgeois dared to speak to him. He placed a hand on his hilt and waved his scabbard dismissively. “Get lost.”

It was a level of disregard I had never experienced as Edwill.

Even if they hadn’t been knighted, wasn’t the oath to work for the weak a given when performing public duties? I didn’t want to realize in this way that common sense only applies in the world you know.