The Weight of a Brother’s Love

“I need help. My friend got lost further inside.”

“Does it make sense for someone to get lost in the neighborhood they live in? Why don’t you get lost? It’s already an emergency, and now some beggar brat is…”

The guard spat out curses as if he had stepped in filth right in front of me. My pride was stung, but I tried to understand him. The social gap between a commoner—specifically a poor one—and a guard of a metropolis is quite large. Normally, they wouldn’t even exchange a word. While choosing such words was inexcusable… actually, screw that. Whether it’s a noble or a commoner, isn’t it his job to protect the residents of Lovenus and maintain order?

I took off my hat and looked him straight in the eye. I didn’t expect him to recognize my face, but I had faith in Llewellyn’s features. Who could look at this face and see a starving beggar?

“I am Llewellyn Edwill, and my friend is the heir to the Dylan family. Is that still ‘unlucky’ to you? Get your men moving to find him. Now. Of course, I don’t expect a mere guard to have that authority, so I mean go report to your superior. The hotel will verify my identity, and if that’s too far, the shop next door where I bought these clothes two days ago will certainly remember my face.”

The knight stared blankly before letting out a stupid sound. “Uh, oh…” I snapped at him for not moving immediately. People like this are more likely to believe I’m a noble without evidence if I simply act aggressive.

“Are the names Edwill and Dylan not enough to move the Knights? Then exactly how big does a problem in Lovenus have to be?”

However, the words the guard blurted out once he regained his senses were different from what I expected.

“We found him!”

Found what?

I was immediately moved to the Knights’ headquarters. The guard who had been cursing at me couldn’t even manage proper speech as he escorted me with utmost politeness. The people at the headquarters provided hot milk with chocolate as I requested, but they stood around awkwardly, fidgeting. They caused a ruckus searching for new supplies and finally draped a blanket they scavenged from the barracks over my shoulders. It wasn’t hard to realize that the knights had already been looking for me.

I sipped my milk, thinking that perhaps Berinon wasn’t an irredeemable villain. I didn’t think he would actually escalate things this far. Elliot must have thrown a fit. If he was safe, that was all that mattered. Right on cue, the hallway became noisy.

But the one who burst through the door as if he were going to break it wasn’t Berinon or Elliot.

“Brother…?”

Even the knight standing next to me was startled by the appearance of the second son. Looking at his unbuttoned shirt and coat, I could tell how desperately he had rushed here.

I knew that just because he acted like a pushover in front of me didn’t mean he was an easy man. A man who rose to the rank of Vice Commander in the Imperial Knights—where lineage and skill are strictly scrutinized—couldn’t be a fool. I had actually seen him curse and lose his temper before. To put it mildly, Leopold Edwill’s personality isn’t exactly “kind.”

But that temper had never been directed at me. I knew that even his stiff expression when meeting the Crown Prince was out of a protective instinct, fearing I might be harmed.

That’s why I felt I could stay on top of his head and manipulate him as I pleased. It was because he willingly chose to be in the palm of my hand. But now, the second son walked straight toward me with a face more frozen and rigid than I had ever seen.

“Llewellyn.”

Leopold knelt before me and tried to speak calmly, but he couldn’t completely hide the fury bleeding into his voice. He opened and closed his mouth several times, choosing between what he had to say and what he wanted to say, before letting out a heavy sigh. The fingers that finally grasped my hand were trembling violently, letting me glimpse his true state of mind.

“I… I thought you…”

“Brother.”

“When I heard you disappeared, I… do you know how much…”

Listing words that couldn’t even form a sentence, Leopold leaned his head against my knees as if collapsing. I had assumed Leo would be shocked and worried, but I had completely forgotten just how much. I had been too distracted. But I couldn’t make excuses. I had no right to talk my way out of this. I quietly patted his head.

“I’m sorry.”

“…”

“It was my fault, brother.”

His stiff shoulders relaxed slightly. I knew that no matter how angry he was, it wouldn’t last long. In the first place, this wasn’t anger; it was terror. As I pulled his head into an embrace and soothed him as he often did to me, his body finally went limp.

“If something had happened to you, I would never have forgiven myself.”

I wanted to tell him that was going too far—that it wasn’t his fault, so he shouldn’t feel that way. But I couldn’t entirely fail to understand him. If Elliot had come to harm while I lost him, I would have found it hard to forgive myself, too. I should have watched him better. I should have paid more attention. Hypotheses that never came true would have strangled me. The guilt is bound to be greater when the subject is a younger brother ten years your junior.

“I’ve heard the explanation, but I want to hear it from you directly.”

“Berinon…”

“Berinon?”

“Berinon told me Elliot went inside. He said he’d be lost. Even though he knew it was dangerous.”

I felt like a child reporting a playground fight to an adult. By the time I finished my quiet explanation, I was so worked up that a “that bastard” almost slipped out, but I hit the brakes just in time. Leopold listened to me intently. His attitude of not wanting to miss a single word made me a bit embarrassed. Still, having someone completely on my side didn’t feel bad.

“What do you plan to do?”

“I want to talk to them first. Actually, I hit him earlier because I was so mad. Is he alright?”

“He was already a mess even before I laid a finger on him.”

Earlier, I hadn’t had the luxury to hit him properly, so I only landed one blow. His cheek might have been swollen, but not enough for Leopold to describe him as a “mess.” It was definitely Elliot who had wrecked Berinon.

“Then that’s enough. It seems Elliot did my share of the hitting.”

Leopold looked dissatisfied but decided to respect my wishes. Instead, he stared gloomily at my neck. His large hand hovered near the bruised skin, unable to even touch it.

“Who did this?”

His tone had softened significantly, but I saw him grip his sword tightly. If I said I got caught in a power struggle between underworld bosses, he’d go hunt them down immediately; if I said I was treated like a prostitute in the Nox, he’d probably uproot the entire alleyway.

“There was a scuffle inside. It was nothing.”

“It doesn’t look like ‘nothing’…”

“I’m really okay. Someone helped me, and that person saved me.”

I did my best to defend Luke. No matter what I said, Leopold was likely to send people to dig into what happened inside. Then he would find out that Luke and I had been together. Regardless, I didn’t want the person who helped me to suffer for it. Except for the part where he kissed me at the end—which almost made me swear again—it was mostly fine.

The second son picked me up. I had been refusing to be carried for a while now, claiming I was too old, but since I was the guilty party today, I stayed still in his arms. Carrying my grown self without effort, he bumped his forehead against mine and extracted a promise.

“Your heart for your friend is praiseworthy. But remember that you are young too, Llewellyn. Please promise me you will put yourself first. Even if someone calls you a coward, promise to be selfish.”

“Yes.”

“And if anyone calls you a coward, bring them to me.”

I burst out laughing at his serious addition but nodded obediently. You should take your own advice… I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. Llewellyn is Leopold’s priority, so he wants Llewellyn to make Llewellyn his own priority. Even if I told him, “You do the same, brother,” he might take care of his body normally, but in a critical moment, he’d definitely sacrifice himself for his beloved youngest. I didn’t want to force him to make a promise he couldn’t keep.

I bumped my forehead against his in return. Locking eyes with his purple irises, so like Llewellyn’s, I promised.

“I will do that.”

Leopold suggested I change my clothes first. Even without seeing a mirror, I could guess my state was dire. My face must be a sight, my clothes a wreck, and my neck a mess.

I said I would meet Berinon and Elliot first. It was better to meet them like this. Berinon needed to know exactly how much I had crawled and suffered.

Leopold agreed. He decided to accompany me for “synergy.” It was a bit embarrassing to have the brother I usually acted cute with acting as my muscle, but I didn’t refuse. A knight in a black uniform with a sword at his hip standing behind me would certainly provide a heavy sense of intimidation.

He seemed pleased by my permission and even slowed his pace, realizing I wouldn’t nag him to hurry.

As we walked slowly down the hallway, Leo blamed himself for the delay, saying it was because he had briefly stepped away. He explained he had to periodically go up to the capital to report to superiors in person, and that happened to be today. He was preparing for a quick return when the report came in that I had vanished, and he had come flying out.

A knight abandoning his post? Wasn’t that like desertion?