Chapter 63: You must never show 100% of yourself

“Hard to understand jokes, please refrain from them.”

[7979 has donated 1,000 KRW.]
“Weren’t we friends? I wrote ‘Legend’ as my best friend for the new semester assignment.”

“It’s still February, you idiot. What new semester?”

<Wow LOL, claimed a prime spot. Just write ‘Legend’ and it’s done>
<I didn’t write anyone, so the teacher called me in for counseling. Damn>
<You didn’t skip it, you just couldn’t write anyone LOL>
<How do you talk to someone sitting next to you for the first time? Are you an extrovert?>
<Struggling to even talk to a convenience store cashier, real hikikomori vibes, thumbs up LOL>
<Kang Hyuk, I wrote you down, but why didn’t you write me? I’m really hurt>

Everyone’s had similar experiences… no, wait.

Ugh.

Why did I have to drink and start talking about this on stream?

[LegendFAN has donated 1,000 KRW.]
“You have such great feminine energy, why haven’t you shown it before? Haha.”

Even though I ignored it earlier, this guy rephrased the same question politely.

It’s hard to get mad, because technically, I’m guilty of fraud, having used a G-cup cosplay suit.

My conscience pricks a little…

Instead of answering, I increased the text size on the screen.

[The person who did the late-night drinking stream does not exist.]
[That person is not real.]

<Bury the cringe moments!>
<She’s clearly embarrassed! Take a hint!>
<But honestly, it was impressive>

…………

It’s not that I have nothing to say because of the chest topic, but because it was fake, I have nothing to say.

My conscience pricks.

[Venus has donated 1,000 KRW.]
“Legend, you’ve grown strong. You are now my equal, or even greater.”

I dragged the text on screen and shook it back and forth.

The person who did the late-night drinking stream does not exist!

That person is not real!

…Not that this would be convincing.

[oo has donated 1,000 KRW.]
“Legend, check out the trending post on LightIt.”

Something they couldn’t ask via donation, so they posted it on the forums?

What could it be?

I raised my caution level slightly but still opened the forum.

Since I’m not doing any particular content right now.

Should I check the most upvoted and commented post?

A title that stood out among the others caught my eye.

[Author: Current Legend Viewer] [Title: How about ‘Legend Keeper’ as the fan name?]

[“Keeper” has two meanings:

As in gatekeeper, warehouse keeper, gravekeeper, lighthouse keeper—someone who protects something.

As in decade-long friend, lifelong friend—someone who stays by your side.

‘Legend Keeper’ feels like a librarian who guards legends, but also means being Legend’s friend. What do you think?”]

[Isn’t this a bit forced?]
[The vibe isn’t great.]
[It’s distinct. Feels like an RPG wizard title?]
[Sounds like a secret society, kinda cool LOL]
[Legend, you’re not alone! We Trues are here for you!]

“Fan name… a fan name, huh…”

They suggested picking a fandom name in a previous stream too.

It felt so cringe and awkward that I just brushed past it.

Legend Keeper…

Legend’s friend…

This feels weird.

My face is getting hot.

Maybe I’m not cut out for streaming after all.

“Calling an online streamer you don’t even know the face or name of your ‘friend’… You all must be really desperate for friends.”

<Sudden attack?>
<Do you know about parasocial relationships?>

This is quite fascinating.

Viewers feeling a connection to streamers makes sense.

Even this jellyfish model—I needed a mascot, so I picked it.

I absolutely refused to use a generic anime girl avatar.

Not because I had any aversion to otaku culture, but because role-playing as a girl felt incredibly awkward.

It was way more comfortable streaming with a male voice. Though it did strain my throat.

…Oops, went off track for a bit.

Back to the point.

But what can a streamer feel for their viewers?

I don’t know where you live, what you look like, what you do, or what you think.

Each of you has different ages, appearances, and jobs—how can I lump you all under “viewers”?

Some insult me, some get mad when I don’t do what they want, some blindly support me, some donate money or chat daily,

Some will forget me if I disappear for a few days, some will miss me for a long time…

Can I really just see you all as a single group of “viewers”?

The viewer count hit 27,000.

Can I remember details about 27,000 people?

If I remember only some, won’t the rest feel left out?

In the end, I can’t remember anything about them.

That feels… really sad.

“Why do you guys watch my stream?”

“I feel kind of weird… Is it really that big of a deal? Isn’t this just temporary hype that will die down, leaving only a handful of people?”

<That’s peak girl behavior right there.>
<Oh no, milking the viewers for affection>
<Hmm, is it really that much of a big deal?>

Why are they making me sound like some annoying girl?

Do guys not think about these things? Are we not allowed to?

It’s only natural to wonder why people watch your stream!

“Don’t try to put some weird menhera image on me.”

[Reminder has donated 1,000 KRW.]
“??? : I have no friends. I feel so lonely I could die. Please, stay by my side.”

“Ugggh! Gyaaack! Uweeeck!”

<Sound of someone in agony, LOL.>
<800 years’ worth of blanket kicks incoming.>

The frustration of not being able to meet anyone in real life, the stress of nearly exposing my identity.

I lost control and got wasted alone, and now I’m permanently branded with this humiliating past.

Maybe I’m actually a little pitiful?

But more than that…

My face feels like it’s burning at 40 degrees Celsius right now.

“Alright, I’ve decided to retire from streaming and return to a normal life. Thank you for all the love. It’s been fun.”

<-The End->

<Ah, so Legend’s service is shutting down.>
<Reincarnation, let’s go!>

“Why are you all assuming I’ll reincarnate just because I’m quitting streaming?”

[Editor has donated 1,000 KRW.]
“Boss, am I getting fired?”

“What—No! I was joking!”

Right.

Quitting was just a joke, but even if I really wanted to, I’ve set up too much to just run away.

But why do they assume I won’t quit just because I’d be too lonely?

I told you, I don’t even know if I consider you guys friends!

I heard this somewhere before.

A streamer should never show 100% of their real self.

Because it’s bad for both the audience and the streamer.

Then should I just fully commit to the ‘big chest’ persona?

Since I shouldn’t show my real self anyway.