Did You Hate Kissing Me?

The excited demeanor before the trip was human-like, but the fact that it was Beomwoo made Haejin feel a bit bewildered.

When he said he wanted to see the ocean last time, Beomwoo hadn’t seemed particularly interested.

Seeing that he had been waiting for this moment made a sudden sense of pressure flood over him.

High expectations lead to great disappointment.

He hadn’t even considered any grand events or sights, so seeing him like this, Haejin stopped eating, let his eyebrows droop, and spoke flusteredly.

“I, like I said back then, just wanted to see the ocean. I didn’t plan anything else. Please don’t get your hopes up……. I really just want to see the ocean. Not to do anything else.”

“Actually, since you said any ocean would be fine, I did plan a bit.”

“……Huh?”

Haejin was trying to lower his expectations, saying he just wanted to look, but Beomwoo reacted as if he had expected this.

He even spoke as if to say, ‘I’ve prepared everything, just follow me.’

He thought about what would be good to do? Amidst all his busyness?

Of course, thinking back, Beomwoo was a planning-type person.

Meticulous and valuing time, he seemed to make thorough plans.

However, just as he had felt unfamiliar during their previous date, Beomwoo had never been the one to first plan something to do with him.

This was only the second time, but having seen all that long time, it was surprising that such cases could be counted on one hand.

As Haejin looked at Beomwoo with slightly startled eyes in his daze, Beomwoo let out a soft chuckle as if he had also expected this reaction, then said to him.

“Let’s finish breakfast, get ready slowly, and set off. I planned it leisurely.”

“Ah……. Okay…….”

Watching Beomwoo speak and then elegantly resume his meal, Haejin nodded awkwardly.

Because of what happened on the first night, Haejin had been on high alert, worried Beomwoo might try something physical with him.

But now, looking at today, it seemed what he needed to be wary of from him wasn’t just his body.

Whether body or heart, anywhere, he needed to guard against him infiltrating as if it were his original place.

The worrisome final morning in Busan dawned.

****

After finishing breakfast, they packed their belongings to check out and loaded them into the car.

Seeing the staff transfer the luggage to the trunk and close the door, Beomwoo approached Haejin and said.

“Shall we go?”

“Ah, yes.”

As always, Haejin got into the passenger seat, Beomwoo into the driver’s seat, and smoothly started the car.

Like someone in a movie being chased by police and hiding, Haejin hadn’t even been able to properly draw the curtains or look outside from the accommodation, so he hadn’t realized.

Perhaps because the ocean was close to the accommodation or because they had only driven a short distance, they were on a coastal road.

Maybe because it was a leisurely weekday time, the coastal road was wide open without a single car.

Haejin rolled down the car window more than halfway and looked outside.

The characteristically salty sea breeze rushed in through the open window, and his eyes were filled with people playing in the ocean and the endless blue sea.

The distance from Seoul to Busan was far, if considered far, but Haejin hadn’t had many thoughts during the journey here.

He had followed along because he was alone and worried the brothers might harm him, not with the anticipation of going on a trip.

As he thought before, he hadn’t been complacent enough to think of going somewhere for a change of pace.

Yet, as if to render that meaningless, the excitement he felt while looking for places to go came back, filling his heart.

“Hah…….”

Filling his eyes with the cool scenery, Haejin closed his eyes and let out a pent-up breath.

Although he was someone who usually didn’t go out much and stayed home well, after the incident with Jeong-yeon, he went out even less, and when he did, it was only to places right nearby.

That too, with Beomwoo.

Then, two days ago, he came all the way from Seoul to Busan, but once here, he had only stayed in the hotel.

So, the moment he faced the ocean, he felt a liberating sensation, as if his chest had been cleared.

Maybe the reason he wanted to specifically see the ocean in Busan was to feel this liberation.

Just seeing it from the car made him feel good, making him want to get down to the ocean immediately.

However, Beomwoo seemed to have a different destination.

Since he said he had a plan, that made sense……

Not thinking to rush and ask if they could just get out here, Haejin stealthily opened his eyes and looked at Beomwoo.

He seemed to feel Haejin’s gaze and spoke while focusing on the road ahead.

“Do you have something to say?”

“Um, I was wondering if we’re going to a specific beach.”

“Do you want to get out?”

“Ah, huh? That’s not it……”

“Just joking. We just need to go a bit further.”

He had asked, wondering if they really needed to go further, but it wasn’t to hint that he wanted to get out.

So when Haejin’s eyes widened in surprise and he shook his head, Beomwoo chuckled lightly.

A joke……? Was he asking if he wanted to get out in the middle of the road?

He wasn’t sure what it was, but coming from someone so serious that jokes didn’t suit him, it didn’t feel like a joke.

Awkwardly lifting one corner of his mouth, Haejin looked at Beomwoo, then said, “Ah, I see……” and awkwardly turned his gaze forward.

Lately, Beomwoo occasionally said things that might be jokes or something else, and each time, Haejin often malfunctioned, not knowing how to react.

In his past life, Beomwoo was such a cold person without a shred of warmth, and seeing him smile was rare, so he had thought it would be nice to see this side of him.

But actually seeing Beomwoo act like this was indescribably awkward.

He didn’t dislike it. It was just awkward……

Even his unfunny and strange words made his heart itch for no reason.

He already felt this way each time he discovered a new side of him, but perhaps because they had kissed, it felt even more noticeable.

“We’ve arrived. Let’s get out.”

“Ah, yes…….”

Fidgeting and lost in thought, they had arrived at their destination meanwhile.

He didn’t know if the destination was closer than expected or if he had been lost in thought without realizing time was passing.

Afraid his inner thoughts might show, Haejin hurriedly shook off his thoughts and got out of the car as if nothing was wrong.

After parking and walking a bit, the ocean he saw earlier came into view again.

It was the same ocean he saw while driving along the coastal road, but the scenery was slightly different.

The earlier ocean had many people on the beach with lots of parasols spread out, but here it was empty as if they had rented it out, with few people.

They hadn’t come that far, yet could the number of people decrease so drastically?

Feeling as if they had found a secret hideout only they knew, Haejin looked at the shore in wonder.

Beomwoo, as if reading his thoughts, stood beside him and spoke.

“I wanted to show you a pretty ocean. They say this place isn’t crowded, has no trash, and is good for viewing leisurely.”

“Ah…….”

Earlier, looking out the car window, he had wondered if they needed to go further and casually asked which beach they were going to.

It seemed Beomwoo had known why he asked.

At the time, he thought any ocean would be the same and wondered if they needed to go far, but now, seeing the different atmosphere, his thoughts changed.

This place was much better.

As Haejin nodded in understanding, Beomwoo smiled faintly and first walked toward the sandy beach.

Usually, Beomwoo had long legs, a wide stride, and walked quickly, but today, perhaps to admire the ocean, he walked slowly.

It matched Haejin’s stride perfectly, allowing him to relax a bit and look around.

Walking on the sandy beach right before the ocean, the soft sand underfoot, the sound of cool waves hitting his hearing, and the blue ocean holding the blue sky were all so beautiful and pleasant.

Thinking he could just keep walking like this and enjoying it, Beomwoo turned to look at him and spoke.

“Shall we sit for a bit?”

“Here?”

“Yes. I brought something to sit on.”

There’s nowhere else to sit…… right here in the middle?

He didn’t mind asphalt or sand, but Beomwoo was so tidy he’d probably dislike sitting in such a place.

As Haejin thought this and asked, Beomwoo waved the bag in his hand, saying he brought it for this.

He had seen Beomwoo grab the bag when getting out of the car earlier but thought it was for work on his tablet, which he often did.

But today, it seemed the bag contained not a tablet but a mat.

He said he had a plan, and he even prepared a mat.

Knowing he deliberately prepared for this made it hard to refuse, and he didn’t dislike it either.

In fact, it was fresh because he had never done this before.

As Haejin nodded dazedly in agreement, Beomwoo took out a cloth mat from the bag and spread it.

The mat wasn’t large, but it was just right for two adult men to sit quietly and watch the ocean.

They sat to comfortably view the ocean, but once seated, the surroundings became more noticeable.

Especially the man sitting next to him.

Whether eating or talking, they usually sat opposite each other, so sitting side by side like this—and so close their arms could touch—he couldn’t remember when that last was.

Imagining two adult men sitting on a small mat, the pictures he saw while searching for travel spots upon arriving in Busan came to mind.

Those images of people having a lovely picnic at the ocean and taking nice aesthetic photos.

Of course, Haejin and Beomwoo didn’t use social media, and neither was interested in taking photos.

Looking back, in his past life, the only photos they took together were probably their wedding photos.

No matter how uninterested he was, there really were many things they hadn’t done.

If they had developed a normal romantic relationship, this wouldn’t feel so novel……

As Haejin smiled bitterly, reminiscing about his past life, Beomwoo, who had been quietly admiring the distant ocean, spoke.

“I’m sorry for pushing so forcefully yesterday.”

“No, that……. Yes…….”

He wondered what he was going to say……

Beomwoo was apologizing for kissing him on the first night in Busan.

Feeling awkward receiving an apology from him, Haejin habitually almost said it was nothing, but that incident wasn’t something to just let pass.

They weren’t in that kind of relationship, and he hadn’t given permission, so doing that was rude……

It was something to apologize for.

More than that, as the memory he had briefly tried to erase surfaced, awkwardness flooded back.

It felt strange to be watching the ocean so casually with the person who kissed him without permission.

Even though the ocean he so wanted to see and that was still beautiful was right before him, with that day’s memory surfacing, the scenery didn’t enter his eyes.

The air’s temperature, humidity that day, and even the intense gaze he had while looking at him surfaced so vividly he could draw them with his eyes closed.

Even trying not to remember, they kept coming back, making his lips tingle.

Just remembering made him feel hot, and if he thought more, it would become problematic.

As Haejin tried hard to erase the memory and focus on admiring the ocean, Beomwoo, who had been silent for a while, looked at him and cautiously asked.

“Did you…… dislike kissing me?”