“Yamete Butterflies for sale! Lively, freshly caught Yamete Butterflies! Step right up, don’t miss this chance!”
“Modo Chicken! Tender, succulent Modo Chicken! A ten percent discount for immediate purchase!”
Qiweiya, dressed in a Lolita-style gown, observed the local customs of this so-called ‘otherworld.’
“Lysander, are you certain this world we’ve arrived in doesn’t sell any adult comics?”
Lysander, who was also in disguise, nodded gravely.
“My Lady, the Creator God would never assign a mission to a world that might defile your sight. This realm is remarkably pure.”
Qiweiya’s lips twitched. ‘I’d only believe you if I saw a ghost.’
Catching sight of something, Qiweiya tugged on Lysander’s arm.
“Did you see that? It looks so interesting! Let’s go take a closer look!”
Lysander’s gaze fell upon the Hulking Men striking strange poses, and a sudden, overwhelming sense of alarm instantly surged through her.
“My Lady, are you truly sure you wish to approach such terrifying presences?”
Ignoring Lysander’s concerns, Qiweiya simply dragged her along, rushing towards the spectacle.
****
“Come one, come all! We three brothers were originally the Heroes tasked with defeating the Demon King! However, a certain Goddess of Ice and Snow, who appeared from who knows where, scared us so badly that we reformed our ways! We’ve had no choice but to retire from heroism and become street performers here! So please, take pity on us and toss a few coins our way!”
“How pathetic.”
“Indeed! I heard that Goddess of Ice and Snow has three heads and six arms, a truly formidable and majestic presence, capable of uprooting mountains and dominating the entire world!”
“More than that! They say she can devour the heavens and earth, possessing a gargantuan, monstrous form—a peerless Demon King, indeed!”
Qiweiya felt her ‘Qilin arm’ twitching uncontrollably, a potent urge seizing her to bring about ‘world nuclear peace’ and silence.
Lysander, ever composed, firmly gripped Qiweiya’s trembling hands.
“My Lady, there is no need to heed the words of these mortals. They are merely idle chatter, unworthy of your attention.”
Qiweiya took several deep breaths of fresh air.
“Hmph, I’ve finally managed to control my hands and refrain from creating more bloodshed. Namo Amitabha.”
“Exactly! This Goddess of Ice and Snow is truly monstrously ugly! No wonder she’s been single her whole life. She’s probably here to rob our world of its men! I must rush home and hide my elderly father!”
Boom!
“Let go of me! If this old lady doesn’t teach these otherworldly natives how to behave today, then I’ll renounce my name as Ice and Snow!”
Lysander’s expression remained impassive, but the sweat soaking her clothes, a result of restraining Qiweiya, was undeniable.
“My Lady, pay them no mind. These are merely petty individuals indulging in idle gossip. We need only remain calm, and then even calmer still.”
Qiweiya glared fiercely at Lysander.
“They didn’t insult *you*, so of course you’d say that! But I’m the one they talk about every single day! Why are you perfectly fine when we came together? Why do *I* have to be slandered daily? Waaah! Creator God, you old hag! Just wait until I get my hands on you!”
Lysander tilted her head, clearly not comprehending why her deity had suddenly fallen into such despair.
“My Lady, if you truly wish to avoid such remarks, we could always depart Valkyrie City. After all, our mission extends beyond mere Hero factions.”
Qiweiya gazed at the bustling market, feeling a touch of regret.
“Well, we still need to prepare for the two major factions that are poised to attack us… and no, it’s certainly not because I’m eager to join in the commotion!”
“Yes, but My Lady, don’t you think we should first distance ourselves from those three men?”
Qiweiya asked curiously, “Hm? Why?”
Lysander calmly pointed towards the three Hulking Men, who were now emitting a distinctly suggestive aura.
“My Lady, do you believe this is something a good child should witness?”
Qiweiya shivered, immediately dragging Lysander away from the crowd without a backward glance, self-righteously proclaiming, “How dare they perform such horrifying acts in public? This old lady has truly never encountered such shameless individuals!”
****
“Clear the way, everyone! This earth dragon carriage is out of control! No compensation will be offered for any collisions!”
Qiweiya watched the approaching dragon carriage, an expression of disdain crossing her features. She scoffed, “Such audacity! About to crash into people and still issuing threats? Watch me halt it and bestow its owner with a truly unforgettable memory!”
Under the astonished gazes of the crowd, Qiweiya spat twice into her palms, then firmly pressed them against the charging earth dragon.
As expected, Qiweiya successfully halted the dragon carriage, which carried the force of several dozen tons. However, a dark silhouette suddenly flew directly towards her.
“What is this thing?” Qiweiya caught the figure, then exclaimed, “Good heavens! Whose maiden is *that* hideous?!”
The figure, dressed in palace attire, landed on the ground with a cry of pain. They immediately grabbed Qiweiya’s skirt hem.
“You devil! You caught me so perfectly, why won’t you accept my passionate kiss?”
Qiweiya’s face turned pale with fright. She frantically kicked away the hand.
“Maiden, have some self-respect! I am also a maiden! And I’ve just now realized I prefer men!” Qiweiya was so terrified she even changed her sexual orientation against her will.
The figure on the ground slowly stood up. As Qiweiya got a clearer look, her face turned green.
‘You’ve got to be kidding me! Look at that chest hair! Those bulging muscles… and that face, uglier than any flower!’ Qiweiya felt as though she’d hit rock bottom, having endured eight lifetimes of bad luck to encounter such a dramatic turn of events. ‘Why even bother with this quest? I should simply go home and sleep!’
Qiweiya immediately seized the calmly observing Lysander and bowed deeply, apologizing to the ‘beauty’ who could ‘sink fish and make geese fall.’
“I am truly sorry! Maiden, your true love isn’t me, actually! However, I know three former Heroes who might be interested in you! Consider it fate guiding you to your true path.”
She then pointed towards the eye-stinging trio of Hulking Men from earlier.
“See them? That muscle! That physique! Tsk, tsk, tsk! And those faces, how utterly majestic! I guarantee they are absolutely your type! Love at first sight, I promise!”
As expected, the ‘maiden’ began to cast flirtatious glances at the three men, and Qiweiya nodded in satisfaction.
“In that case, ‘green mountains remain, long rivers flow, we shall meet again!’ Goodbye! Damn it! Hurry up and leave! If you intend to stay, stay by yourself. If not now, when?”
Lysander, who had initially intended to remain an impartial onlooker, was summarily scooped up by Qiweiya. They fled the ‘gay-ish crime scene’ — or rather, the scene that might soon transform into a joyous celebration.
****
Qiweiya stopped in a bustling area, patting her small, startled chest.
“We finally escaped that dangerous place! I swear, if I ever again get involved in such a ‘hero saving the beauty’ spectacle, I’ll live-stream myself eating my words… What?! It was censored! What’s going on?”
Lysander tapped Qiweiya’s shoulder, pointing to a massive bulletin board amidst the crowd.
“My Lady, would you care to take a look? It might hold relevance to our mission.”
Only then did Qiweiya notice the announcement board.
“What’s this about? Has some princess in this world become a Sleeping Beauty? Does she require a passionate kiss from me to awaken?”
“It could also be a woman like the one we just encountered,” Lysander remarked.
At this, Qiweiya shivered. ‘Cough, cough! This world is truly abnormal.’
Qiweiya pulled Lysander through the crowd and silently began to read the announcement.
“Effective immediately, a divinely chosen sword has been plunged into a sacred stone within the city center! Whoever pulls forth this sword shall become the new leader of the Light Faction, guiding Heroes and Heroic Spirits in the assault on the City of Ice! Signed: Rylesdan Saint, the Merciful, Current Pope of Light.”
Qiweiya, utterly dumbfounded, and the impassive Lysander exchanged blank stares.