Can I Trust You… Just Once?

“Wh-what…?”

“I know this question is rude. But… I want to know your heart clearly. How you feel about me.”

“……”

“I tried not to do this, but I became impatient. I’m sorry.”

What is he saying all of a sudden? Asking if he hated it?

This time, it was a question anyone would be flustered by, and Haejin showed a raw reaction.

But Beomwoo apologized again, saying he couldn’t help it because he was anxious, and demanded an answer.

However, Haejin couldn’t show any reaction and froze.

…How do I feel about Beomwoo?

In his past life, he was someone he desperately loved but who also made him so lonely that he became a hated person.

In this life, he was someone he was incredibly grateful to, who sometimes made unresolved feelings resurface and shake his heart, and who always helped him in times of crisis… a person he was thankful for.

The current Beomwoo had expressed his feelings to him, made him not feel lonely, and surpassed being merely “better than in his past life”—he was the best person among those he had met.

It was bewildering how the same person could change so much.

Because of that, he often thought he should try to face him as if erasing the past life’s version and seeing a new person.

But what kept him from fully trusting him was the same situation as in his past life.

Since marrying him would, just like in his past life, grant him a massive inheritance, he couldn’t help but suspect that his sincere devotion might actually be high-level acting to secure his interests.

In their first meeting in his past life, he had lightly said that if he wanted love, he could provide that too.

In his past life, since he had easily chosen marriage as an escape from his adoptive parents, there was no need for further acting.

But this time, since he wasn’t yielding easily, it was possible he was seriously acting out love.

He wasn’t a person charming enough to inspire love at first sight, and they hadn’t shared any special encounters in this life either, so it was unlikely he had developed feelings for him.

He had also tried hard to push him away, not wanting to think of him as special…

But lately, that had become difficult.

Especially after coming to Busan and the day he kissed Beomwoo.

Whenever he saw him, he could only see his lips, and all his nerves focused on him.

As Haejin couldn’t say anything, Beomwoo, seeming unable to wait, spoke again.

“I know you can’t fully trust me. If you’re hesitating to be with me because of the inheritance… Could you not open your heart to me, even a little?”

“……”

“I want to experience being in a relationship with you, Haejin.”

Beomwoo earnestly said he wanted to try that and seriously met his eyes.

A person who seemed to have experienced everything grand only wanted to be in a relationship with him—such a simple wish, spoken as if pleading with him.

As their eyes met, he recalled accidentally overhearing Beomwoo’s phone call with his mother during their lunch break on the way to Busan.

Back then, he had confidently said he wouldn’t marry any of his brothers and that he could sufficiently inherit the company through his own abilities, without marriage.

Beomwoo and his mother weren’t on particularly good terms, so it might have been a nervous remark.

But Haejin didn’t think he had said something he didn’t mean just to win an argument.

It seemed he was by his side even while excluding marriage.

It seemed he was by his side because he genuinely liked him.

So… it seemed okay to see him as he was right before his eyes.

The dark, damp past warned him not to go, holding onto his ankles, and he thought—no, he was almost certain—he would look back on this day many times with regret.

No matter how hard he tried to separate them, the past, following him like a shadow whenever he saw Beomwoo, hurt him.

Would he never be able to erase it in his lifetime?

So he shouldn’t have done it, but as if possessed, Haejin finally spoke the words he had been turning away from, forcing them out.

“Is it okay… to trust you?”

To think of the Beomwoo from his past life and the one before his eyes as different people, just once…

Just once more, he wanted to trust him.

When Haejin, after months, shook off the memories of his past life and cautiously spoke, Beomwoo’s eyes, which had been urging an answer, widened, and his dark pupils shook visibly.

Though Beomwoo, in his anxiety, had abruptly asked Haejin about his feelings, he clearly hadn’t expected Haejin to respond positively.

Even though his answer was unexpected, his surprise at getting the answer he wanted made Haejin feel even more awkward.

Seeing Haejin’s embarrassed face, Beomwoo’s expression, which had been dazed as if not believing his words, instantly turned serious.

“Haejin.”

“……”

Beomwoo called his name and placed his hand over Haejin’s hand resting on the mat.

He felt warm body temperature and a light pressing weight.

Even though it was just a very light touch, his body stiffened with bewilderment and his heartbeat quickened as if it were a significant contact.

Is this something to be so nervous about, just because hands touched?

Is it because the moment he opened his heart to him, even these trivial things felt new, like first times?

The ticklish feeling in his heart was awkward.

Even making eye contact with him felt difficult.

Just as he was about to lower his gaze unconsciously, Beomwoo’s other hand, which wasn’t covering his hand, lightly gripped his chin and raised his head.

As his head, which hadn’t resisted, was lifted, Beomwoo came into view again.

Different from before he lowered his head, Beomwoo had come right up close, and by the time Haejin’s eyes widened at the extremely close distance, their lips met.

“Huh…!”

Through the defenselessly parted gap, soft flesh pushed in.

His body, already stiff from surprise at just hand contact, had no choice but to be even more shocked by the sudden kiss.

Last night, there had definitely been a similar situation.

Back then, he had spoken as if wanting to do it first, but it was similar in that he had kissed him without permission.

But the difference was that, unlike last night, they were now in a relationship.

In his bewilderment, Haejin reflexively placed his hand on Beomwoo’s chest to push him away, but at that moment, he thought, ‘Is it… okay, though?’

Back then, they weren’t at a stage for kissing, so pushing away was right, but now they were at a stage where this was acceptable.

And… honestly, it had been so good he kept thinking about it…

Was it because he liked him, or because Beomwoo was too good at kissing?

Even though it was a kiss so desperate it stole his breath, he kept remembering it.

When Haejin, about to push him away, stopped and only clenched his hand resting on his chest, Beomwoo seemed to sense he wasn’t refusing and let out a small laugh.

A soft, scattering laugh, then he kissed him again after briefly parting.

He gently sucked his full lower lip, then properly intertwined their tongues.

Their hands were lightly overlapping, and they were only mixing tongues.

The sea breeze touching his skin was cold, and the sound of waves crashing rang refreshingly in his ears, but his body and mind grew hotter and hotter.

The contrasting sensations made him feel more clearly how his body was being heated with arousal.

If it gets hotter here, it might become troublesome.

As Haejin thought this with a mind dazed by arousal, Beomwoo, perhaps feeling similarly, didn’t kiss more deeply but pulled away.

Even as he stopped, Beomwoo, as if regretful, looked at him with calm eyes from a distance where their breaths could mingle, then muttered softly.

“I’ll make sure you never regret deciding to be with me.”

“……”

At Beomwoo’s word “regret,” Haejin slowly focused his eyes and looked at him.

Until just now, even a light kiss had been making his reason evaporate, but those words pulled him from dream to reality like waking up.

Regret… Until right before accepting him, he had been half-convinced he would regret what he said today.

He wanted to trust him, and this kiss felt so good too, but perhaps because the memories of his past life were too vivid, it was hard to be confident that Beomwoo would always be like this.

Instead of answering, Haejin quietly shifted his gaze and looked down at Beomwoo’s hand covering his.

The hand covering his was trembling finely.

When he had asked if it was okay to trust him, Beomwoo’s face had shown surprise, but since he wasn’t a very expressive person, he had only seemed skilled and calm.

Apparently, that wasn’t the case.

It seemed like trembling from excitement, but even in the face of such a sincere reaction, Haejin couldn’t gain confidence and smiled faintly.

He wanted to trust him, and this felt so good too… but the anxiety rooted in his heart showed no sign of disappearing, as if he might have to carry it forever.