Now You Want Me Back?

Minseok asked back, his expression blank.

He had clearly heard Jaeyeol’s words, but he couldn’t understand what the hell this bastard was saying.

He must have misheard.

That was something that could never, should never, come out of Oh Jaeyeol’s mouth.

But Jaeyeol didn’t stop.

“I know.

I know I really messed up… I know.

But… but Minseok… you know too.

Haeyoon was always really weak to me.

No matter what I did wrong… Haeyoon always, always forgave me, didn’t he?”

“Hey, you….”

“So if I… if I got down on my knees and begged?

Hmm?

If I begged and said I was wrong, wouldn’t Haeyoon… forgive me…?”

“You crazy bastard, really!

Do you think everything you say is right?!”

Minseok couldn’t hold back and shouted.

Immediately, eyes from surrounding tables turned to them, but he didn’t care.

“I’ve been watching you, and this bastard has no limits.

Hey, Oh Jaeyeol.

You f*ck… you, you f*ck…

How can you call yourself a human?”

Minseok felt as if he himself had been insulted.

If Oh Jaeyeol had even a shred of conscience, and if he considered Minseok a person with a conscience, he couldn’t spout this kind of bullshit.

As Jaeyeol said, Minseok knew very well how weak Haeyoon was to him, how much he tried his best and devoted himself.

To the point where their friends would half-jokingly, half-enviously say that Jaeyeol must have saved a great country in a past life to have a lover like that.

When they heard he had cheated on that Haeyoon with Ahn Seonwoo, they all tried to stop Jaeyeol.

Aside from issues of conscience or duty, they all knew that choosing Ahn Seonwoo over Seo Haeyoon made no sense.

It was Oh Jaeyeol who, to his friends who sincerely advised him, saying he would really regret it later, to think again, exploded in anger asking whose side they were on, and ultimately chose Ahn Seonwoo.

It was also Jaeyeol who warned Minseok, who had advised him out of concern more than anyone, never to mention Seo Haeyoon’s name in front of him again.

And now, Oh Jaeyeol dared to spout this kind of nonsense.

_’It’s okay.

It’s not hyung’s fault.’*

Minseok recalled the last image of Haeyoon from his memory, when he had accidentally run into him after they broke up, and Haeyoon had instead comforted him, unable to lift his head.

Haeyoon was also a precious younger brother to Minseok.

Meaning that because of Oh Jaeyeol’s bullshit, Minseok had also lost a cherished junior.

Yet he was still wishing him happiness as a friend, even acting as his drinking chauffeur.

What the hell?

Minseok admired his own patience for not throwing a punch at Oh Jaeyeol right there.

“Hey, drink more.

Drink it all and drop dead for all I care.

Huh?”

Minseok put the glass he had taken back in front of Jaeyeol, filled it to the brim, then abruptly stood up.

“And if you’re going to spout this kind of bullshit, don’t ever call me to drink again.

Got it?

Even I… huh?

I do this because you’re a friend, you f*ck!”

Too angry to even speak properly, Minseok just cursed loudly and turned away.

Oh Jaeyeol had clearly lost his mind.

* * * *

“Heuk, heuheuk….”

Jaeyeol watched the back of his old friend as he walked away, fleeing from an impossible person, then lowered his head and let out a strange sound, somewhere between a laugh and a cry.

After being cursed out by the friend who had tried to understand him, he finally felt the reality of his situation.

He had lost too much by marrying Ahn Seonwoo.

Some he had thrown away himself, but most was lost regardless of his will.

He hadn’t not known.

Many around him had warned him.

Still, Jaeyeol hadn’t wavered.

He thought it would be okay.

Because he would have Ahn Seonwoo, a beautiful person to spend his life with, and that was enough.

He thought if he lived well with Ahn Seonwoo, showed them a long and happy life together, his reputation and relationships would all be restored.

He was confident that eventually, those around him would acknowledge his choice was right.

So Jaeyeol had discarded Seo Haeyoon.

“Keuk… keukeu….”

But look at him now.

Far from changing others’ perceptions, all he could think about since the wedding was what he had lost.

A self-deprecating laugh continuously escaped Jaeyeol’s lips.

Of course, his life wasn’t ruined.

His marriage wasn’t irreparably broken either.

Though it had been rocky from the start, wasn’t that how marriage was?

People who had lived as strangers their whole lives became family; it was only natural to have conflicts in the process of adjusting to each other.

Besides, Seonwoo hadn’t been acting particularly sensitive lately, and with a little more effort and consideration, they could quickly return to happy times.

As time passed, Jaeyeol would likely regain most of what he had lost, just as he had predicted.

“…….”

But there was one thing he could never get back, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how well he lived.

Jaeyeol realized that.

Seo Haeyoon.

The one person he had met in his youth, loved with all his might, showered with unparalleled affection and warmth—that one person he could never get back, no matter what he did, no matter how well he lived.

He had known that.

He had discarded Seo Haeyoon so coldly, thinking he would never see him again.

Why?

Why was he now trembling at that fact as if it were an unbearable fear?

“I really have lost my mind….”

Minseok was right.

He really was a crazy bastard.

Otherwise, he wouldn’t be missing Seo Haeyoon so much right now.

“I can’t.

How can I, I’m married… I absolutely can’t.”

Jaeyeol muttered like a lunatic.

It was just a thought that came to him in a moment of exhaustion from their frequent fights, but leaving Ahn Seonwoo was nonsense.

To go through all that trouble to get married, only to get divorced now?

That would truly be the worst choice.

“I have to live well!

Well!

So everyone can see!”

Jaeyeol downed the last drink Minseok had poured for him in one gulp, deliberately raised his voice even more cheerfully, and stood up.

It was all just useless thoughts.

Thoughts that would disappear after he slept and woke up.

Baek Jeongha, Seo Haeyoon, and Ahn Seonwoo.

He was just a little tired from all the unexpected, exhausting events piling up; there was no need to dwell on it.

Seonwoo was probably struggling as much as he was, so having such thoughts was disrespectful to his spouse.

Jaeyeol resolved to pull himself together and be better to Seonwoo as he left the bar.

If only he could turn it back.

If only he didn’t regret it so much.

With each step, he discarded the impulses that wouldn’t help him at all, opened the door, and stepped outside.

The cold, midwinter night air pierced his lungs.

Jaeyeol lowered his head in despair.

Even after discarding impulse after impulse, he still, just one last time, missed Seo Haeyoon terribly.

* * * *

Arriving home in the early hours of the morning, Haeyoon got off the elevator and immediately felt dizzy, stopping for a moment.

Since briefly collapsing at the studio last time, he had often experienced similar symptoms.

He knew it was a bad sign.

He was prone to minor ailments, so normally he would be more careful at times like this.

But lately, he was focused on preparing for the exhibition.

He wanted to finish the piece somehow, before the inspiration he had regained after so long slipped away.

So even knowing his body wasn’t well, he was telling himself to just hold out until the main piece was finished.

But perhaps he had reached his limit.

Today, his condition had rapidly worsened after leaving work, and now he even felt nauseous.

Thinking he should definitely rest tomorrow, Haeyoon was walking slowly when he spotted a familiar figure crouched in front of his door and stopped.

“Oh Jaeyeol…?”

Haeyoon frowned.

With things already over between them, having Jaeyeol and Seonwoo alternately showing up was tiresome, even a little tedious.

He felt like just going back to the studio.

His mind was already full with exhibition preparations and his relationship with Baek Jeongha.

There was no room for Oh Jaeyeol.

“Huh?

Haeyoon, you’re here?”

Jaeyeol, who had been slumped over as if asleep, perked up as soon as he heard Haeyoon’s voice.

At his unsteady movements and the smell of alcohol, Haeyoon let out a small sigh.

Anyone watching would think Seo Haeyoon was the one who had mercilessly betrayed his partner.

Watching Jaeyeol stagger towards him, Haeyoon changed his mind about wanting to avoid him.

Oh Jaeyeol was the one in the wrong, and this was Haeyoon’s house.

The one who should run away pathetically was Jaeyeol, not Haeyoon.

Mustering his weary body, Haeyoon looked straight at Jaeyeol.

“Why are you here again?”

“Haeyoon.”

“I think I said last time… that I hoped we wouldn’t run into each other again.”

Haeyoon’s voice, drawing a line between them, was utterly dry.

Exhausted from working until dawn, Haeyoon was tired and unwell.

All he wanted right now was to go inside, lie down comfortably, and call Jeongha.