The Maid Book and a Pervert’s Predicament

“Why do you know about maids!”

Qing Zhuiyan grew shy, her voice twisting into an uncomfortable mumble.

She had only learned the word ‘maid’ in the past two days, from a yellow-covered book her cheap master had carelessly tossed her way.

She had genuinely believed it contained powerful spells, reading it diligently from cover to cover.

However, when her master asked her to demonstrate the spells she had supposedly learned from the book…

She was utterly dumbfounded; what exactly had she learned? Marital relations after marriage?

Yet, she was still an unmarried virgin!

Consequently, her master punished her by making her copy the book’s contents ten times, instructing her to do so with utmost sincerity.

When she finally submitted her ‘homework’, and her master saw ten volumes of indescribable content, it was then that she realized her master had played a trick on her.

What she had spent two days on was no powerful magical art; it was merely something unsuitable for children.

At that moment, she felt as though she had been struck by lightning!

The world, it seemed, had turned to shades of grey.

She remembered the contents vividly; after all, she had copied them ten times and read them no less than twenty, each time left utterly shocked by what she found within.

One particular story featured a cow-headed monster engaging in various positions with several adorable girls dressed in strange black and white outfits, all basking in the sunlight.

The book stated that these girls, bathed in sunlight, were maids, and their peculiar black and white attire was a maid outfit.

She had believed maids existed only within the pages of books, never imagining she would hear the word ‘maid’ spoken in the real world.

Upon hearing ‘maid’, the images from the book instantly flooded her mind, filling her with profound shame.

She immediately concluded that Tou, standing before her in women’s clothing, must also have read books about maids, even going so far as to treat Ji Jie as one; surely, they had engaged in such acts more than once!

Furthermore, Tou had previously sided with her when she expressed dissatisfaction with Xierwei’s large chest, joining her in pinching Xierwei’s ‘buns’.

There was no need for further thought; this Tou before her was undeniably a great pervert!

A living, breathing pervert!

As a member of womankind, she felt it her duty to utterly defeat every single person like him!

Before Tou could even answer Qing Zhuiyan’s question, Qing Zhuiyan suddenly produced a knife, her smile turning sinister as she advanced menacingly.

Tou instantly sensed danger, attempting to rise from his crouch and flee, but in his panic, his feet slipped, and he landed squarely on his backside, an unintended consequence that only trapped him further.

“You wretched pervert,” Qing Zhuiyan snarled, “Watch me peel and chop off your little ‘thing’ first! And ‘maids’? Tell me, how many innocent girls have you corrupted?!”

Corrupted? Tou was beyond bewildered!

However, Qing Zhuiyan had already pinned his legs, and a small Green-eyed Black Dragon coiled around his upper body.

Tou was utterly immobilized, unable to resist.

His skirt had been lifted, and the chill he felt was not solely due to the night’s cold wind.

“Hahahaha! Who cares! Today, I’ll cut it off and deliver justice on behalf of heaven!”

“Nooo!!!” Tou could no longer remain silent!

This madwoman had threatened to cut off his ‘second brother’, and he knew she wouldn’t hold back!

At this crucial moment, only the somewhat foolish Xierwei could possibly save him.

“Xierwei, save me quickly! As my mount, if you don’t save your master in his time of peril, I swear I’ll never ‘ride’ you again!”

On the surface, there was nothing amiss with this statement.

Yet, reaching Qing Zhuiyan’s ears, having read those explicit books and comics, she inevitably associated it with something impure.

Then, looking at the reality before her, the thought of the pure and kind Xierwei being defiled by this pervert instantly ignited her fury.

Without further hesitation, she gripped the knife with both hands and brought it down!

Time seemed to slow infinitely as Tou’s mouth gaped open, watching the knife descend with agonizing slowness.

“Oh… no…”

His voice stretched out, seemingly endless, like a galaxy cascading from the heavens.

Despite Tou’s thoughts racing, the knife’s descent remained agonizingly slow, poised to strike.

Finally, he wouldn’t have to change out of his skirt ever again!!!

‘Splat~’

Blood spurted forth, and Tou, unable to bear the sight, agonizingly squeezed his eyes shut.

But why was there no pain…?

“Xierwei! Xierwei! What kind of foolish thing are you doing?! Why did you jump in… jump in to shield this scumbag from the knife?! Are you utterly senseless?!”

Feeling no pain and hearing Qing Zhuiyan’s furious roar, Tou’s heart lightened considerably.

What else could this mean but that Qing Zhuiyan, that madwoman, had failed in her scheme?

Tou’s ‘second brother’ was safe.

He opened his eyes.

“Huh?”

Perhaps you’ve never tried to catch a butterfly with your bare hands: spotting one in the distance, you stealthily approach, then suddenly pounce.

Your hands tightly cup the butterfly.

At this very moment, Xierwei had ‘cupped’ his ‘second brother’ as if it were a butterfly, having pounced from above Tou’s head. When Tou opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was a pale purple, frilly ‘sacred relic’.

Following that, his gaze fell upon a perfectly rounded backside.

Looking further, he glimpsed Xierwei’s incredibly alluring ‘southern hemisphere’, hidden beneath her clothes.

These sights were now acceptable to Tou; such scenes had become so frequent lately that he had grown accustomed to them, no longer crying out “Eek!” as if seeing a hooligan, as he had the first time he saw Ji Jie’s naked body.

Now, his expression was entirely lewd, and in his heart, he thought, ‘Oh, so nice!’

Then Tou felt something warm clinging to his ‘second brother’.

It was akin to pouring chili oil over a grilled sausage.

He could only ‘feel’ it because those two ‘out-of-bounds’ orbs were pressed against his stomach, distorting its shape.

Without x-ray vision, how could Tou possibly see the state of his ‘second brother’?

And even if he did possess x-ray vision, his mischievous eyes would surely be looking upwards, wouldn’t they…?

“In any case, release him first. The two of you in that position look far too much like one of the 108 Forms of Village Palace.

What will others think of us?!

Besides, I promised I wouldn’t harm him.

However, for our safety and to prevent his escape, we must not unlock the Spirit Sealing Lock on his hands!”

While Tou’s mind wandered to lewd thoughts, Qing Zhuiyan, too, considered a method to reconcile with Xierwei.

Xierwei hesitated for a moment.

Then she released her grip and dismounted from Tou.

It was only then that Tou realized Xierwei had pounced forward, using one of her hands to block the knife Qing Zhuiyan had thrust at him.

One of her hands had been pierced by the knife, and blood stained Tou’s underwear crimson.

“I… I’m sorry, I can’t untie you right now.

As compensation, you… you can make me do anything… as long as you forgive my mistake…”

She pulled the knife from her hand, her bleeding hand seeming as if it didn’t belong to her.

She knelt beside Tou, quiet and demure, like a maiden about to undergo her coming-of-age ceremony.

Tou was deeply moved; to have such a… mount at his command, his life had certainly not been lived in vain!

As for her willingness to do anything for him, Tou’s mind spun like a tumble dryer.

The indecent scenes he had seen in those yellow-covered books unspooled in his mind, one after another, like toilet paper being pulled from a roll.

Ehehehe (¯﹃¯)

Saliva dripped from Tou’s mouth.

There were simply too many things he wanted to do!

“Ahem!”

A cold cough echoed in his mind, and he felt as if he’d been electrocuted.

Snapping back to reality, he wiped away his drool, his face flushed with shame.

*Slap, slap*

He slapped himself twice, forcing himself to fully awaken.

What on earth was he thinking?!

His masters had been so good to him; naturally, such things should be done with his masters first!

Ptooey, ptooey, ptooey! What was he thinking again?!

Of course, it should only be after marrying his masters that he would…

Forget it, forget it! If he kept fantasizing, he’d already have names for their children.

Thus, Tou abandoned all thought.

“Grrr… grrr…”

As the saying goes, an idle stomach starts to grumble.

Tou’s stomach growled, a clear sign of hunger!

Tou’s face instantly flushed crimson, like a poisoned red apple that had not only killed a princess but also seven dwarfs attempting to ‘salvage’ her body.

“Ahem! Whose stomach was that rumbling?

It’s made my stomach hungry too!

Didn’t you promise to do anything for me!

Then, I command you: go cook me some food!”