The Three Yuan Eighty Cents Meal and a Philosophical Friend

My adaptability could sometimes be surprisingly strong. I had, for instance, quickly grown accustomed to the bizarre reality of becoming a girl.

I continued my routine as usual. To be honest, my daily life hadn’t changed much; it simply involved slacking off in class and heading to the cafeteria for the cheapest meal at three yuan eighty cents when it was time to eat.

Three yuan eighty cents was our shorthand for the cafeteria’s two meat and one vegetable dish. Priced at just three yuan eighty fen, it was both affordable and filling, making it the most conscientious set meal the school cafeteria offered.

As for the taste… well, one couldn’t expect too much, could they?

For a pauper like me, solely focused on Pay-to-Win [TL note- spending money in a game, often on microtransactions or gacha pulls], there was no other choice but the three yuan eighty cents meal. In an era where prices soared so rapidly, only this meal remained eternally unchanged, making it the favorite of us poor souls. Consequently, the queue at the three yuan eighty cents window was always the longest.

Thus, after the long line finally dissipated, I was left with only a sorrowful spoonful of leftover meat broth.

Damn it!

Old Zhang always dragged out his classes!

As a blossoming young girl, I was still in my growth spurt. What if I became malnourished and famished?

…

I glanced down at the excess flesh on my chest, my hand instinctively rising to my forehead.

Pfft!

What blossoming young girl? How had I assimilated into this role so quickly?

In any case, there was no need to eat so much!

As long as I didn’t starve to death, that would suffice. Otherwise, if the weight accumulated in certain areas…

For someone as discreet as me, if my figure became too alluring and drew attention, I truly wouldn’t be able to face anyone.

“Ah Jiu, eating the three yuan eighty cents meal again?”

Sun Xiaochuan approached, carrying a lavish braised pork rice meal that cost over ten yuan, and plopped down beside me.

I retorted irritably, “My dear young master, you’re well aware of how poor I am. Why don’t you treat me to something better?”

“I could, but you’d have to do me a favor.”

“Is it illegal?”

“Uh…” The fatty looked embarrassed. “Someone challenged me to a game recently, and I’m afraid I can’t win. Can you help me make a hack? I know you have the skills.”

“Absolutely not! Selling hacks constitutes illegal business operations, and I won’t help with that.”

The fatty looked at me strangely. “How do you know so much about the law?”

“I’ve looked into anything that could make money, so naturally, I know what’s legal and what isn’t.”

The most lucrative schemes were clearly outlined in the criminal code. I wouldn’t sell my soul for money; I wasn’t some capitalist seeking exorbitant profits.

“Damn it! That guy keeps mocking me, saying I’m terrible! Ah Jiu, can you really bear to see me being bullied by him?”

I ignored the indignant fatty and stirred my meat broth into the rice. “You probably ran your mouth first, which is why he challenged you.”

“That may be true, but as a sibling, you have to help me.”

I raised my index finger, rubbing it back and forth with my thumb and middle finger, making a very direct demand.

“How much is your cheap self-esteem worth?”

He slapped his meal card onto the table. “I’ll cover your meals for a week.”

“Excellent! Give me your account, and I’ll beat him so badly he’ll be spitting teeth.”

He gave me a thumbs-up, praising, “As expected of Demon King 09!”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Can you stop being so chuunibyou? What ‘Demon King’?”

“Isn’t that what you call yourself?”

I gave his meal card a meaningful look, and he immediately raised his hands in surrender.

“I have chuunibyou, I have chuunibyou. Your Majesty, do you need me to get you an extra snack?”

“Bring me a bottle of cola!”

“Right away!”

No sooner had the fatty left than I ravenously snatched his braised pork. When he returned and saw his shrunken meal, he asked curiously,

“Didn’t I order a large portion? Why does the meat seem so much less?”

I quickly swallowed the meat in my mouth, took the cola, drank a gulp, and let out a satisfied burp.

“You eat so much every day; no amount of meat would be enough for you.”

“Good point. I’ll go buy a few more grilled sausages.”

“I want some too.”

“Aren’t you afraid of getting fat?”

“Fat? I can barely afford my next meal; how could I get fat?”

“How will you ever get married if you keep this up?”

“Mind your own business!”

Me, getting married?

What a joke!

Let me tell you, I’m destined to be a gold digger!

Speaking of which, does a sister-in-law count as a rich loli?

A thought suddenly struck me…

“Ah Jiu, I bought your grilled sausages.”

“Thanks.”

The fatty returned shortly, bringing himself a bottle of cola as well.

We clinked our cola bottles together, then chugged them down, finally letting out satisfied burps.

This was the true enjoyment of getting things for free.

It truly was wonderful to have such a good friend.

What is true camaraderie? My friendship with Sun Xiaochuan was as everlasting as the Sino-Soviet alliance, as unbreakable as the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, and as steadfast as Poland going to space.

We were pure scoundrels and fair-weather friends, possessing the longest-lasting friendship.

However, as I looked around, I noticed countless men and women in the cafeteria smiling, flirting, and even feeding each other. Suddenly, the cola in my hand brought me no joy.

These people, openly displaying their affection, completely disregarded the feelings of us single individuals. They were utterly shameless!

Couldn’t the teachers from the Moral Education Office do something about them?

Shouldn’t high school students be focused on studying?

As the flowers of our nation, they weren’t diligently enriching their minds to contribute to the construction of a beautiful homeland. Instead, they were immersed in superficial pleasures, truly a petty bourgeois act.

Alas, the world was truly deteriorating.

The fatty’s eating habits were quite unappealing; his head seemed almost buried in his plate, a posture that made me think of a certain animal.

Why was I eating with this guy and not a goddess?

This fatty always wore a scowl, like a standard *○ statue*, exuding the rotten stench of a corpse.

My youth was tainted, devoid of sunshine. How unlucky.

The fatty, who had been shoveling food, paused and looked up at me, grains of rice clinging to the corner of his mouth.

“Ah Jiu, I feel like you’re cursing me in your head.”

“Is there any need to curse a dead man?”

“Hey, how did I become a dead man?”

I sighed. “An An hired a nanny, so she can eat at home now. And I don’t have time to buy groceries and cook lunch, so I can only make do at school. How much better it would be if she were eating with me instead of you.”

The fatty scoffed disdainfully, “Tch! Ah Jiu, honestly, if you want to be with Bai An An, go look in a mirror first.”

I felt a little annoyed. “What’s wrong with me? Am I not good-looking?”

The fatty chewed his food as he spoke. “You are good-looking, but I don’t think anyone could tolerate your terrible personality—except for me.”

“Pfft, you’re no better!”

“It’s precisely because we’re two of a kind that we became friends.”

The fatty sighed, his words imbued with a philosophical air:

“We are like porcupines, longing for warmth from each other, yet unwilling to be hurt by each other’s quills. Other normal people see us covered in thorns and avoid us, but in this cold world, finding warmth in each other is already a stroke of luck.”

“You sound like a philosopher writing an essay. When did you become so sentimental?”

“Didn’t I learn it from you?”

Honestly, the fatty’s words did move me, but I still wanted to curse him. No reason, just a simple urge to curse him.

Perhaps after shedding one’s disguise, people can’t help but succumb to their instincts, like the impulse to curse. After all, cursing is a low-cost yet effective way to vent emotions.

The internet is filled with hostility precisely because people are behind screens, free from the need to hide their true selves. That’s why they are meek in reality but unleash their fury online.

Inspired, I asked seriously,  what do you think is the reason I’m unpopular?”

Upon hearing my question, he nearly spat out his rice.

“Don’t you have any self-awareness?”