Sub-heading: Shhh~ We’re Sneaking In
“Lysander, I want a hug!”
“Impossible. The Lady is perfectly capable of walking now.”
“My muscles feel weak, my whole body aches, and my legs are cramping! I absolutely need a hug to fully recover on the spot!”
Lysander shot Qiweiya a cold sidelong glance, then ignored her sudden, inexplicable demands.
‘Ever since I brushed against Lysander’s chest, I’ve been irrevocably drawn to that sacred place,’ Qiweiya thought. ‘Without Lysander’s chest, I’m going to die!’
As Qiweiya gazed at the approaching inn, she realized that if she didn’t act soon, her chance for a hug today would vanish.
“What exactly is the Lady attempting to do now?” Lysander asked, her face devoid of emotion as she looked down coldly at Qiweiya clinging to her thigh. “This one truly does not grasp your intent.”
Qiweiya blinked her adorably large eyes, reaching out. “I want a hug! Without a hug, I’ll surely die!”
Lysander tilted her head. “This one does not comprehend the Lady’s precise meaning.”
Qiweiya’s mouth twitched. ‘This girl is simply too naturally cunning…’ she thought. ‘Isn’t she just making me spell it out? Fine, I will! What are morals? Can you even eat them?’
Qiweiya looked at Lysander with a solemn expression. “If I don’t get to experience Lysander’s gentle, comforting, and fragrant chest, I will surely perish today.”
Despite the strange looks from passersby, Lysander actually nodded, then effortlessly scooped Qiweiya into her arms. “How could this one know if the Lady does not speak her mind? The Lady must continue to be so direct in the future, otherwise, this dull one truly cannot fathom the hidden depths of the Lady’s intentions.”
Qiweiya let out two dry laughs. “Hehehe… girl, if I stay with you, I fear my moral integrity will never recover.”
Lysander’s face remained impassive. “What was the Lady just saying? This one did not hear clearly.”
Qiweiya quickly clamped her mouth shut, as if struck by a sudden realization. ‘Are you kidding me?! I’m still recovering from severe injuries… and this subtly manipulative girl can play with me however she pleases now? Hiss~ My goodness! A tiger fallen into the plains is bullied by a dog—bah!—by a girl!’ She sniffled.
Spotting a squad of Church Knights in standard silver-white armor inside the inn, Qiweiya shivered in fright, pulling Lysander closer. “Mamma mia! Lysander, quick, hide us!”
Lysander nodded, instantly concealing both their presences. The knight captain glanced back at the inn entrance, as if to confirm he hadn’t seen anything amiss.
“What are you looking at, Captain?” a knight, slightly different from the others, asked as he approached.
“Nothing,” the captain replied. “Perhaps my eyes are playing tricks on me. That goddess from another world is proving incredibly difficult to find. Innkeeper, please get us a few rooms.”
Qiweiya patted her own chest, as flat as a frying pan. ‘We were almost spotted directly! If I weren’t still severely injured, I’d have unleashed my full power and solo-cleared this Church dungeon!’
Lysander watched the knights ascend the stairs. “Lady, what shall we do now?”
Qiweiya gazed thoughtfully at the stairwell. ‘Ding!’
A mischievous grin, worthy of a weasel, spread across Qiweiya’s face as an idea struck her. “Let’s stay in this very inn!”
“Why? Shouldn’t we, by all accounts, find a different inn?”
Qiweiya wagged a finger playfully. “Ah, but that’s where you’re mistaken! We’re doing the exact opposite. They’ll never expect us to be right under their noses! Then, we can enjoy a wonderfully comfortable night’s sleep.”
Lysander felt her mind struggling to keep up. Qiweiya’s expression clearly suggested some cunning scheme was afoot… so what did this mean now? Did she think Lysander couldn’t participate?
Thus, Lysander simply responded, “As long as the Lady is pleased.”
****
“I’ll gently… secretly—bah!—I’ll quietly ambush them and unleash my Five Poisons Plum Blossom Palm… and my Oolong Chicken Catch!”
Qiweiya, having carved a hole in the ceiling of the men’s bathhouse, grandly called it ‘borrowing light from the wall.’ However, her true purpose was clear to all: ‘Hehehe, you know, I know, everyone knows~’
“Wow! This, this is truly an eyesore… But there’s no helping it. To avenge my ‘chest-groping’ humiliation, even if I, a man in my past life, have to pluck out my own eyes today, I’ll stare straight at your live broadcast of fortune… bah!—I mean, poison mist! Otherwise, how else can I mess with you all? Hehehe~”
“Duofus, your muscles have grown even more!” “Slap, slap, slap!” “Hmm~ excellent. Next time your girls see you, they’ll be screaming again.”
Qiweiya’s expression turned peculiar. ‘You guys are just bathing, so why are you slapping your teammates’ muscles? What do other girls’ screams have to do with you? I’m still watching, you know! Don’t invite… don’t invite misunderstandings! I’ve endured the pain of getting styes just to watch your uncensored… I don’t know what to say, just don’t be so ambiguous!’
Seeing them finally begin to bathe properly, Qiweiya quickly rummaged through a cloth bag, shifting things around. “Hehehe, today I’m going to turn this bathhouse into your worst nightmare! Ohohoho!”
With a gleeful chuckle, Qiweiya tossed the contents of her hand downwards.
“Innkeeper, get out here! Why the hell are there bugs in the bathhouse?! And slugs! What the actual hell! There are even rhinoceros beetles!”
“C-Captain, a rhinoceros beetle is clamping onto my… down there! Quickly, help me! Ahhh! It’s going to snap off!”
Qiweiya clutched her stomach, stifling laughter. “Ahahaha~ Meow meow! So you call yourselves Church Knights? Now you know the fate of those who cross me, don’t you?”
The captain, clad only in a bath towel, seemed to sense something. He drew his sword, pointing it at the ceiling. “Who’s there? Come out now!”
Qiweiya jumped in surprise. ‘What the heavens! This is possible? Well, this is very otherworldy… and melodramatic.’
With that, Qiweiya spun around and scrambled away. As sword energy flared, Qiweiya, drenched in cold sweat, executed several leaps before hitting the ground, swiftly abandoning the exposed scene.
The captain’s eyes gleamed with a cold light as he watched the small figure dash away through the broken ceiling. “Where do you think you’re going, child!”
Qiweiya was so enraged she felt like spitting blood. ‘I’ve lived for tens of thousands of years, and no one has ever dared to call *me* a child! If I weren’t still severely injured, I’d chop you into eight pieces and serve you as a fruit platter!’
She tumbled through a window, then another, going back and forth several times until she was certain her pursuers were thoroughly confused. Only then did she return to the room she shared with Lysander.
Opening the window, ‘Ding!’ she spotted her target: a warm, cozy blanket! ‘I’ll dive in!’ ‘Hmm? What is this soft, yielding thing? I don’t recall having a body pillow… A body?! I think I just realized something.’
“Lady, are you comfortable touching?” Qiweiya subconsciously replied, “It feels good, quite elastic~ just not quite big enough… Ugh.”
Lysander stared impassively at Qiweiya. Feeling the potent aura, Qiweiya awkwardly greeted her. “Hi~ Hello… So, tell me, why are you here taking advantage of me?”
Lysander’s face remained blank. “Has the Lady forgotten what just occurred?”
Qiweiya looked baffled. “Huh?” “For instance, breaking into a companion’s bed in the middle of the night and molesting a companion’s body.”
Qiweiya scrambled out of the covers, glancing at the bed, then let out a dry laugh. “Ahaha… I’m sorry, my wandering hands are poorly disciplined. Go ahead and beat up my bed!”
Lysander tilted her head. “Why?” “Because my bed doesn’t smell as nice as yours~”
Lysander understood instantly. “I see. This is what people mean when they say the grass is always greener on the other side.”
Qiweiya’s brow twitched, and she stared at the girl before her, utterly perplexed. She couldn’t understand how Lysander had reached that conclusion. While the description was undeniably vivid and easy to understand, it still left her feeling deeply displeased.
“We need to leave,” Lysander stated.
Qiweiya slapped her hands together, a sudden realization dawning on her. “Oh, right! I just had my fun!… I actually wanted to get a good night’s sleep, what a shame.”
“Whose fault is this?” Qiweiya quickly raised her hand. “Mine! I surrender!”
Without a word, Lysander gathered their belongings. “Let’s go. It seems we won’t be sleeping tonight.”
Qiweiya, shoulders slumped and head down, reluctantly followed. Suddenly, she turned, flipping a middle finger. ‘One day, I will make you all remember the terror of today!’
Lysander tugged on Qiweiya’s ear. “Walk, and no more talking. We still have a journey ahead.”
“Hey, hey, hey! Don’t pull my ear! I can walk by myself!”