Kindred Spirits

Karvan seemed busy again.
Seeing as he was in a meeting for hours with the Maha, whose faces he usually hated to see, it seemed he was preparing a big plan.

‘…Is it because of Midvalen?’
I recalled the map I had found in the Igra nest and given to him.

‘What on earth is he thinking?’
I was barely eating my meal when I suddenly looked outside and saw the sun had tilted.

It was long past the time Radugan usually arrived.
Normally, I would have gone out to meet him, but because of what happened yesterday, I couldn’t bring myself to face him and hesitated until it was too late.

But since the Suras hadn’t said anything either, I assumed he hadn’t come.
After all, there was a blizzard today.

Through the window, I could see the Suras busily moving, clearing away snow that had piled up to their thighs.
I thought about dropping a few fireballs to help and went downstairs.

Then, on my way, I peeked into the slightly ajar banquet hall, just in case.

“…Radugan?”

I froze on the spot at the sight of the large figure sitting alone in the dark, unlit hall.

“How long have you been waiting? You should have said something! I didn’t think you’d come today because of the snow….”

Despite my flustered questions, he stood up without a word and thrust a large basket into my arms.
It was filled with raspberries and matching red roses, which he must have gotten from somewhere.

“Thank you, as always.”

“You and the Valta seem to get along very well.”

‘Ah, it’s finally here.’
I shut my eyes with a miserable expression.

“He seems to be quite merciless, even to his own mate.”

The overt sarcasm in his tone made my entire face burn as if I’d been slapped.

“I’m sorry. You must have been uncomfortable. I, I tried to hold it in, but Karvan wouldn’t stop….”

I frantically made excuses, worried he’d think I was a pervert, but a glance at his face showed it was unusually grim.

“Does he take you so roughly that you can’t help but scream? Does he not stop even when you tell him to?”

“Huh? No, it’s not like that….”

“Enough. My eyes may be blind, but my ears are fine. I heard you crying ‘no,’ ‘please stop.’”

Th-that was because…
I couldn’t bring myself to say it was because he was sucking on me down there like a vacuum cleaner.
As I just opened and closed my mouth with a look of wanting to die, Radugan’s hard gaze swept over my body.

“He’s bitten you up so much it’s hard to tell if you’re his mate or his enemy. It’s a miracle you’re even alive.”

For some time now, Karvan had stopped treating the love bites, leaving them on display as if to show them off.
Naturally, my skin was red all over, as if I’d been attacked by mountain mosquitoes.

“Come to think of it, you. You tried to run away not long ago.”

Radugan, as if recalling something, stared intently at my face and asked abruptly.

“Was that also because you were afraid of the Valta?”

I flinched at the suspicious question without realizing it.

It used to be like that.
I was anxious and afraid of the man whose intentions I couldn’t fathom, who pounced on me like a beast in heat, desiring only my body, and who was ambiguous when I asked if he would kill me.

He was like thin ice that could shatter at any moment, so I never even considered stepping on it.
But now….

“There was a misunderstanding back then. I’m fine now.”

“…And being ‘fine’ looks like this? Him chewing up your skin like that?”

Radugan looked down at my neck again with eyes of disbelief.

‘Just how hard did he suck for him to react like that?’
I quickly pulled up my collar to cover my neck and smiled awkwardly.

“W-Well, I heard that for the Varg, biting the Imprint Vein like this is a sign of affection!”

“There’s a limit. Just because something is cute enough to bite doesn’t mean you actually bite it to death. What kind of affection in this world leaves bruises like that?”

“This isn’t a bruise, it’s a blood congestion mark.”

“…Blood congestion?”

They’re similar, but unlike a bruise, it doesn’t hurt.
It’s due to the temporary suction, like from cupping, but Radugan looked like he couldn’t understand at all.

“It happens when blood suddenly rushes to the skin, but it doesn’t hurt. It just looks like a bruise….”

Perhaps because the Varg are beast-kin, their skin itself is tough and thick.

I knew this just from the fact that no matter how much I bit Karvan’s shoulder or scratched his back, he never once bled.
On the other hand, being human, my skin was weaker than theirs, so even a little suction left a mark.

“Then he sucked hard enough to draw blood.”

“No! I mean, human skin is originally….”

Ugh, now that I think about it, I don’t know why I’m even making excuses for him.
It’s a fact that the man chews on me like a dog toy every night!

‘I want to leave my mark on you too.’

But I knew he wasn’t trying to cause me pain, but rather to express the unique possessiveness of a beast-kin.

And knowing that he had kept his promise not to mate without permission for quite a long time, I wasn’t as scared or resentful of Karvan as before.

‘It looks like a red flower has bloomed.’
‘What do you mean, cheesy. I only stated a fact.’

There were many times when the man’s growing gentleness, day by day, felt unfamiliar.

…Of course, I still couldn’t be sure if he was being whimsical again, or if he was sincere.

As I was lost in thought with a frown, Radugan suddenly raised his hand above my head.

“……!”

I reflexively jerked my body back, and a leaf fluttered down from above my head.

“Ah, ahh.”

So he was just trying to get that off.
I overreacted.
Awkwardly, I scratched my forehead and returned to my spot.
Radugan, who was staring at me with dark eyes, asked quietly.

“…Does he hit you too?”

“What? Ah. I was just a little startled just now.”

“You wouldn’t react so violently just from being startled.”

“It’s a habit I developed from being on my own for a long time. When there’s no one to watch your back, you always have to be on guard.”

Being chased by Observers who could pop out anywhere, anytime, naturally improved only this kind of evasiveness.

“Everywhere I went, the Grim Reapers would appear, so everyone avoided me. That’s why I was always alone….”

“And then you were imprinted by the Valta? Are you unable to refuse him because you’re afraid you’ll be alone again if you’re kicked out of Bahalgras, grasping at straws because you don’t want to be a loner anymore?”

Was he always this talkative?
I looked at Radugan with curious eyes.

Until a few days ago, I was the one who chattered on like that, while he would just give occasional retorts with a grumpy face.

“Ah, well, I was the one who did the imprinting. It’s a long story, but….”

Thinking that perhaps he had become that much more comfortable with me, I answered earnestly.

“He promised he wouldn’t kill me.”

“…You had to get a promise for something so obvious? Does the Valta even protect you properly?”

“Yes! Of course!”

In terms of protection, the problem was that it was excessive.
I recalled the time a few days ago when I said I wanted to walk in the snow, and he had me go out with an escort of thirty Suras.

That man really has no middle ground.
Even his gaze is like that.
Either like thin ice or like the spring sun, one of the two.

“…we do.”

“Sorry? I was thinking about something else for a moment.”

I shook my head, thinking of his always extreme, bright yellow eyes, and missed what Radugan said.

“What did you say?”

“That you and I are of the same kind.”

“The same kind?”

“You, like me, were abandoned by the gods and have lived your life hunted by the Grim Reapers.”

I looked at the status window floating above his head that read ‘Black Mane, Radugan’ and let out a small laugh.

“You’re right. We are similar.”

In the past, I would have denied it with all my might, but recently, I couldn’t shake the feeling that we weren’t so different.

A bugged entity.
A dummy file to be discarded.
A nuisance that wouldn’t be missed if one disappeared, one that was quicker to eliminate than to fix.

“Are you aware that if you’re eaten by a Grim Reaper, your very existence disappears?”

I remembered an NPC who had disappeared into an Observer’s mouth in my place, a long time ago.
A being whose name, face, and voice I couldn’t remember.
Radugan must have gone through the same thing, dying and coming back to life over and over because of a bug.

“Because the beings the Grim Reapers deal with are ‘God’s mistakes.’ No one can leave a trace, so the very memory of you in this world vanishes.”

“That’s right. That’s why I ran so hard.”

At first, I thought lightly of it.
I thought, ‘It’s a game, so if I die, I just log out, right?’ But the moment I saw that scene, I made a vow.
That I would never be caught by an Observer.

“I think it’s truly terrifying that no one would remember me.”

In truth, that was scarier than dying.
The fear of disappearing without anyone remembering me.

‘You are my mate, and my Bi.’
‘Shinbi-nim is our family!’

But now, strangely, the Observers didn’t scare me.

Was it because they were no longer chasing me?
Or was it thanks to the belief that there was now someone who would remember me?

“…Valtael.”

As I was feeling a strange emotion, Radugan took a step forward.

“No. Shinbi.”

The distance was too close.
He usually maintained a personal space that felt excessive, but he was now close enough for his shadow to fall over my face.

“There is something I want to ask.”

“Yes, what is it?”

“…What if, I.”

“Shinbi-nim!”

Just as I was about to playfully open my mouth to say, ‘Why are you dragging it out so much? I’m going to die of suspense,’ I saw a familiar face rapidly approaching from a distance.

“Oh, Mashak?”

I was about to wave happily at the sight of him after so long, but I was taken aback by his grim expression.

“Let’s go.”

Mashak stood between me and Radugan with a stiff face, as if to block him, and held out a white-gloved hand.
A strong scent of medicinal herbs wafted from him, as if he had come straight from the infirmary.

Taken by surprise, I was led a few steps by him, and Mashak stood like an iron wall behind my back.

Thanks to that, I couldn’t see what kind of expression Radugan, who was left standing alone, was making.

“Hey, Mashak. That’s…!”

“Speak.”

As I was led upstairs by Mashak, I spoke urgently.
I thought he was misunderstanding.

“Radugan wasn’t here to hurt me.”

“I know. That’s why it’s dangerous.”

I stared at him, bewildered, wondering what he meant, but Mashak just glared intently past the door.