Stay Tonight… I Don’t Think I Can Let You Go

I remembered Beomwoo telling me before that he had been drawn to me from our first meeting, that his heart had swayed that way.

Thinking of Beomwoo, who had said that without batting an eye, was absurd.

But to be honest, I hadn’t really believed that statement.

We met exactly the same way in our previous life, so I thought it was impossible for him to feel different emotions just because it was this life.

At least he was being honest now, and that was a relief…

Even though I had known, I looked at him with mixed feelings, and he continued.

“It’s true you caught my eye, but there’s an eight-year age gap.

You were too young, so it was difficult to see you in that light.

And if I had… that in itself would have been problematic.”

“…….”

It wasn’t that Beomwoo didn’t find Haejin attractive at first sight, but rather that the age difference made it hard for him to feel that kind of attraction.

He was saying that if he had felt that kind of attraction from the first meeting, it would have meant there was something wrong with him.

Many people don’t even see someone that much younger as a potential romantic partner, so his words weren’t incomprehensible.

Especially since Beomwoo was someone who had always been indifferent to romance.

So while I understood, it was still disappointing that he had lied…

As I looked at him with a slight pout, Beomwoo, as if he hadn’t finished, added more.

“So, I didn’t feel enough attraction to confess love… but from some point on, I started to become preoccupied with you.”

“……Out of pity?”

“At first, I thought that’s what the feeling was.

But I realized a bit too late that it wasn’t.”

It was plausible.

He knew I was being abused by my adoptive parents, had no money, and nowhere to go.

So it made sense he might be concerned out of pity.

Even though we weren’t deeply acquainted in this life, as a chaebol, giving that level of help might have seemed like simple charity to him, a way to get me out of that situation.

I asked, thinking that, but Beomwoo denied it.

He said even he thought it was that at first, but it turned out it was more than just that feeling.

Beomwoo spoke, then took a moment to steady his breath like someone who had gotten nervous, straightened his grip on the wheel, and spoke again.

“I… regretted it a lot.”

“…….”

“This is my first time liking someone.

I didn’t realize that my way of caring for you, because I liked you, was misguided, and that it could be taken badly.

Having lived my whole life without caring about others’ opinions made it even more of a problem.”

I thought he was talking about regretting not preventing the Jeong-yeon incident sooner.

He had mentioned it several times, and I had told him he didn’t need to feel regret, so I just listened quietly.

But hearing him now, it seemed the regret he was talking about wasn’t pointing to that incident.

If not that, then what part did he regret so much?

I couldn’t think of anything specific he had done so wrong to me that he would say he regretted it this much.

Telling me not to be coercive?

Telling me not to call him ‘that side’?

A few things I had expressed dissatisfaction with came to mind, but compared to our previous life, they were a drop in the bucket, making me wonder, ‘Is it something to regret that much?’

While I couldn’t fully grasp his meaning, I thought for a moment and cautiously said to him.

“Honestly, I don’t really understand what you’re saying you regret, or why… but it’s okay.”

“…….”

“I mean… that’s why we decided… to try this, right?”

As lovers…

It was embarrassing to say this, but if I had only thought badly of him, I wouldn’t have answered like this to his question about what I thought of him.

We had said starting today we’d have that kind of relationship, but saying this now made me strangely shy.

My cheeks flushed as I spoke and I ducked my head, but there was no proper response from Beomwoo.

What… did I say something too embarrassing?

Just a moment ago, I had thought Beomwoo probably had more dating experience, and while embarrassing, this kind of conversation might be normal for a couple, so I answered.

But thinking about it now, no matter how much dating experience Beomwoo had, he didn’t seem like the type to have had relationships where they exchanged embarrassing words without hesitation.

He might have been proficient with physical touch, but he wasn’t the personality to have had much of this ticklish emotional exchange.

If he were someone familiar with emotional exchange, he probably wouldn’t use this kind of phrasing.

Belatedly, it occurred to me that Beomwoo was just curious about the situation itself and had spoken factually, and maybe I was the one who had given an overly shy answer.

I wasn’t usually good at saying these things anyway…

Feeling awkward, I glanced sideways, rolling my eyes to gauge his reaction.

But contrary to my thoughts, Beomwoo’s expression was utterly serious.

“We can arrive in Seoul tomorrow.”

“What?! Suddenly, why…”

“…….”

I was wondering why his expression was like that… what, suddenly? Go to Seoul tomorrow?

He had said earlier it was a shame we had to go back right away, but I persuaded him, saying today wasn’t the only day, and he had agreed, so why again now?

Before I could even figure out what was happening, Beomwoo quickly turned the steering wheel and changed our route.

I asked where we were going, shouldn’t we head to Seoul, but Beomwoo didn’t answer.

He hadn’t even set a new destination on the navigation, so I had no idea where he was racing to.

All I could do in this situation was hold onto my seatbelt as the speed increased.

****

Even though I knew he wasn’t the type to do anything bad to me, I grew a little afraid as he turned off onto a secluded forest road.

But after passing through the trees, a large, beautiful villa, the kind you’d see in an anime, suddenly appeared.

At Beomwoo’s words that we had arrived, I got out of the car in a daze, but I still had no idea where this was or why he had suddenly changed our destination to come here.

As I stood bewildered, looking up at the large villa, an elderly-looking man rushed out from inside the villa holding a broom.

The man ran straight to Beomwoo, greeted us while bowing deeply and looking flustered.

“Oh my, you should have called ahead… I was surprised by the sudden visit.”

“We’ll stay for a day.”

“Huh? T, today? N, now, right now?”

“Is that a problem?”

“Ah, of course not! It’s always kept ready for immediate use.

You can go right in.”

The man, who seemed to be the villa caretaker, looked very flustered by the statement that we’d be staying for a day starting now.

But as if saying ‘no’ would prove he had neglected his duties, he quickly changed his attitude, saying it was perfectly fine to use anytime.

I was wondering where this was, but listening to the conversation, it seemed to be a villa owned by Beomwoo.

I hadn’t visited it in my previous life, but I remembered hearing his family owned villas.

Not just one or two, but quite a few, as I recall.

But back then, we were never close enough to visit for leisure, so this was my first time actually seeing one.

While I was figuring out where this was and recalling memories, Beomwoo finished his conversation with the caretaker and naturally led me towards the villa.

In a daze, not knowing what was going on, I followed his lead.

It was only when he opened the door and we stepped inside the building that I came to my senses and turned to look at him.

“Hey… is this your family’s villa? But why did we suddenly come here… Eep…!”

I tried to make eye contact and question him, but before I could finish speaking, Beomwoo pulled me into an embrace, wrapping his arms around my waist.

His firm body pressed against mine, and as we got close, his dense alpha pheromones washed over me.

Even considering the proximity, his scent was thicker than usual.

Startled by the sudden hug, I looked up at him.

He, who had initiated this, now mumbled as if he himself was troubled.

“I said… I can only think of doing things like this, didn’t I?”

“……Huh?”

“But you keep saying things like that… I’m sorry.”

It seemed like an answer to what I had said, but I couldn’t understand what he meant at all.

The moment I opened my mouth to ask what he was talking about, Beomwoo bent down and pressed his lips against mine.

“Hn, mmph…”

He had kissed me at the beach earlier too, and now Beomwoo was kissing me again.

It was as if something inside him had exploded the moment we became lovers.