Chapter 67 Three Questions About Life

As the train’s roar reverberated, and the scenery outside the window receded little by little, Xie Shenhong slowly regained his senses.

‘What… what exactly am I doing?’

When Lyte uttered those words, Xie Shenhong’s mind went utterly blank.

Both he and Lyte, it was clear, had a multitude of tasks awaiting them.

Xie Shen’ai, Sister Yun, Brother Qinglong, Brother Yan… everyone was waiting for him.

The kingdom faced the looming threat of destruction by the Empire, and in the future, the even greater peril of a demon invasion.

Not a single moment should be spent in relaxation.

Not a single moment should be wasted in idleness.

He should have been an unfeeling puppet, impervious to fatigue or pain.

Yet why… why was he unable to utter even a single word of rebuttal?

Even as the train pulled out of the capital, he felt a genuine sense of relief and… joy.

He truly was a useless and weak individual.

“Shenhong, would you like a drink?”

But even with all his incompetence, there was someone willing to stay by his side.

Someone willing to abandon everything for him, to flee with him to the ends of the earth.

This… this was truly laughable.

It was just like a plotline from a soap opera he had watched in his previous life.

Back then, he had been utterly incapable of understanding the characters’ motivations, simply remembering the content as fodder for conversation.

He never expected that he would one day become a ‘protagonist’ himself.

Life was truly wondrous.

But it was enough.

To briefly experience the treatment of a protagonist, he was already quite content.

Next… if they simply disembarked at the nearest station, they could still return to the capital by evening.

‘Let’s just end it here.’

He certainly didn’t want to transform into Hai Zhu in front of Lyte, thereby shattering the beautiful image Lyte held in his heart.

Perhaps to steel his resolve, he took out the golden pocket watch.

Then he froze.

The hour hand on the golden pocket watch had returned to the zero (twelve) mark.

Doubt, panic, worry, fear… all sorts of negative emotions surged through his heart like a procession.

Yet, in the end, they all dissolved into despondency and dead silence.

‘It doesn’t matter anymore.’

Just as Lyte had said, he was tired.

Since his rebirth, he had thought and worried about far too many things.

He no longer wished to ponder the consequences of not being able to transform into Hai Zhu.

Besides, in the worst-case scenario, he would merely go from being able to transform *only* into Hai Zhu, to becoming an even more useless puppet.

No matter how worthless he was, others would still expect him, help him, wait for him… wait for the ‘him’ who no longer existed.

Therefore, he didn’t need to consider anything, nor did he need to do anything.

He might as well just give up entirely.

****

Their arrival at Qilin City in Blackwood Province occurred around three in the morning.

During this time, the hour hand on the golden pocket watch remained unchanged.

No matter how Xie Shenhong called out or waited, his body showed no signs of transformation.

‘Let it be.’

He gave up.

“Let’s go.”

But Lyte did not.

As a central hub city of the kingdom, Qilin City boasted a prosperity that rivaled even the Vermillion Bird Capital.

Yet, shortly after disembarking from the station, Lyte led him towards the desolate outskirts.

He showed not a trace of longing for the bustling city scenery, which, even in the dead of night, remained brightly lit and prosperous.

Instead, he pressed onward with single-minded determination into the pitch-black darkness.

“Lyte, where are we going?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“My father, who once led me down this very path, answered the same way.”

Holding Xie Shenhong’s hand, Lyte simultaneously cast a light spell to illuminate their path forward.

After a long stretch of walking, seeing that Lyte showed no intention of stopping, Xie Shenhong parted his lips slightly, yet hesitated to speak.

He didn’t know what to say.

Or perhaps, he too was hoping they could walk on endlessly, recklessly, without a care.

Even if the path ahead was shrouded in absolute darkness.

“I came here not for nostalgia.”

Perhaps sensing his fluctuating emotions, Lyte suddenly spoke.

For what then… Xie Shenhong couldn’t voice the question.

Even feigning ignorance, he understood why Lyte was doing this.

Honestly, he was happy.

The further they moved from the city, from the capital, the happier he became.

But gradually, he realized something.

If they continued like this, only he would be happy.

He didn’t want that.

He didn’t want to trouble others simply because he wished to escape.

Thus, he decided not to continue on this path any longer.

“Lyte.”

“What is it?”

Lyte slowed his pace.

Even without seeing his face, Xie Shenhong knew Lyte was somewhat agitated at that moment.

Agitated because he was finally about to voice his troubles.

After all, no one enjoyed constantly pressing forward into the darkness.

A lighthouse served to guide lost skiffs, adrift in darkness and fog, back home.

Regrettably, Xie Shenhong had no intention of fulfilling Lyte’s hopes.

Rather, what he was about to do was plunge headfirst into an abyss of no return—

“I am not the true Xie Shenhong… I am a transmigrator who seized his body.”

****

‘Phew, I finally said it.’

After revealing the truth—that he was a transmigrator who had arrived in this world, separate from his rebirth—Xie Shenhong let out a long breath and looked at the blond youth before him.

‘This way, it should all be over, right?’

Soon after he began his confession, Lyte released his hand and halted his steps.

Perhaps it was shock.

Perhaps anger and resentment.

Regardless, Lyte no longer had any reason to continue doing anything for him.

Because he was nothing but an impostor.

He was neither the Crimson Hawk nor Hai Zhu, the First Saintess who had saved the kingdom.

He was nothing at all—

“Could you tell me about your life before you transmigrated?”

Lyte asked quietly.

His tone revealed neither joy, anger, sorrow, nor happiness.

“Why do you want to know that?”

Was it because merely knowing he was a transmigrator wasn’t enough to make Lyte hate him?

No, that wasn’t it.

Lyte wasn’t that kind of person.

Which meant…

“I want to understand you more deeply.”

Lyte turned around.

Even shrouded by the night, Xie Shenhong could be absolutely certain of one thing.

Lyte’s eyes, just as always, held only him.

“Why?”

“Although I once mistakenly believed you were the Crimson Hawk, putting that aside… the Xie Shenhong I know has always been you.”

“But I seized someone else’s body…”

“That wasn’t something you could control, was it?”

“But I’ve hurt those who believed I was ‘Xie Shenhong,’ how can I possibly…”

“Shenhong,” Lyte interrupted him again, “They aren’t here; you don’t have to force yourself to take responsibility.”

“How can I not…”

“At least for me, those things don’t matter. What I want to know now, what interests me… is only you.”

“…”

“By the way, if you’re not Xie Shenhong, then what should I call you?”

“…”

“Or perhaps, like me, you’ve abandoned the name Reinhardt?”

Xie Shenhong realized he had chosen the wrong person to confess to.

The only person in the entire world who could know he was a transmigrator and still quickly accept and understand him was likely this blond youth standing before him.

He truly was defeated by him.

“Before I came to this world, I was also called Xie Shenhong…”

Xie Shenhong recounted his entire first life as an unfeeling puppet to Lyte.

Holding nothing back.

Then, he quietly watched the blond youth before him.

He sought to find on Lyte’s handsome, earnest face a look of derision, mockery, or disdain, similar to the profound darkness of the night.

But just like every time before, he failed.

“Shenhong, you’ve worked hard.”

Huh?

Why would he come to such a conclusion?

“Are you pitying me?”

“There is certainly some of that, and a touch of heartache, but mostly, it’s admiration, because you, Shenhong, have been so incredibly diligent.”

“What is there to praise about effort directed in the wrong way?”

Indeed, by this day, how could Xie Shenhong not understand that the woman had wished for him to live like an ordinary person?

Yet he had foolishly focused his energy on acting, ultimately dying as a puppet who never understood human emotions.

Ironically, after transmigrating this time, he should have remained an unfeeling puppet, but instead, he began to acquire superfluous emotions, unable to even perform his act properly.

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say he had lived two mistaken lives.

“Whether it’s praise or not, I don’t believe anyone has the right to judge whether another’s life is successful… I only know, Shenhong, that you did not break your promise to your mother.”

“I sacrificed myself in vain; how could I not have broken my promise?”

“Regarding that, I have a question…”

Lyte fixed his clear, luminous, emerald eyes, which seemed capable of seeing through everything, intently on Xie Shenhong:

“Before your master died, did they give you any command?”